How to participate in church?

My advice:

When you go to church, lay down your life for that short time period and step into Jesus’ ministry. Start going primarily to find ways to serve people, not to be instructed. You can get the instruction you need outside of church, so whatever you get in church will be an unexpected bonus. I promise, there are lots of people who need to be served at any given time – far more, I’m certain, than need to be taught.

Focus on being the servant first (a savior to others) and be the student whenever that happens naturally.

It really can change the life you lay down when you leave your house each Sunday.

There are great places to serve in the church, places you can really make a Christ-like difference in the lives of others, that do NOT require constant testifying and teaching of Mormon culture or speculative beliefs.

Here are places I have found a lot of meaning:

1. Nursery

This was a FANTASTIC place where I was able to hide out for nearly a decade. I just stayed in there either officially with the calling, or unofficially as a “helicopter parent” watching whatever child of ours was in that age range (talking to the other parents and helping a little with the kids).

Lessons? 5 minutes tops. You talk about Jesus and being nice to everyone. Eat snacks and then play with toys for the rest of the time.

2. Scouts

All the lessons are about basic Christian moral values or outdoors skills. IMO, one of the most underrated callings for men. I got to hang out with the boys, play with fire and knives and everything their moms told them was too dangerous, burb, eat junk food and occasionally go camping. It was also a great way to mentor some of the boys who didn’t have a father in the home.

3. Service projects

Mowing an older sister’s lawn on a regular basis. Helping with moves. Bringing food to people. Helping at the Bishop’s Storehouse. These are all rewarding activities that connected me to my ward community, didn’t require any level of belief really, and all made a REAL difference in someone’s life — feeding the poor and hungry, helping the widows and orphans. Can’t find much wrong with that!

4. Home Teaching / Visiting Teaching

Look for families or people who really need support. Ask to be their VT/HT. You’d be surprised how often “The Spirit” gives leaders promptings to give you a calling you ask for, especially when it’s for someone they are already concerned about.

One of my best Home-Teaching routes ever was when I was assigned a large list of inactive or do-not-contact folks in the ward. For almost two years, I had about 35 people on my “route.” The local leadership loved having the boost in HT numbers by counting these as visits. I wrote a nice letter every month that just contained a simple, uplifting Christian/Spiritual message. I really put my heart into it and prayed for the people on my route. I printed out labels and mailed them all the letter. Most probably ended up in the waste basket with the other junk mail. That was fine. A few people reached out to call me and thanked me for sending the letters, even though they still didn’t want to come to church. That was fine too.

Those are some examples and suggestions.

Start going primarily to find ways to serve people, not to be instructed. You can get the instruction you need outside of church, so whatever you get in church will be an unexpected bonus. I promise, there are lots of people who need to be served at any given time – far more, I’m certain, than need to be taught.

A BIG +1 to this.

Quite a while back I stopped viewing going to Church on Sunday as a chance for me to be edified. Instead, I go to serve. I look at the whole Church that way now. God didn’t give me the Church as a way for me to be taught. He gave me the Church as a vehicle for me to learn to serve others. As Brian said, I’ve had an amazing time serving in the Primary, Nursery and now in a little more high-profile calling, but they’re all just the same thing – a chance for me to learn to be a little less selfish with my time and focus on others a bit. I’ve still got a lot of learning to do in this regard.

brian, not to mentionmusic callings…

At least in the “mission field” wards I have always attended, you could pretty much cut any deal you want if you agreed to play piano or organ. They are always desperate for those folks.

Yeah, but watch out if you don’t. There was a sister in our ward that had a degree in piano performance. She told the bishop right off she didn’t want a music calling, because she wanted a chance to learn and grow from callings, and frankly music callings didn’t do it for her. So they put her in the nursery (which is the most underrated calling in the church) and as ward camp director.

Hi – You’ve had some great answers here. In the area of callings – I would suggest working lessons around Christ. Kids especially will have no idea if you always talk about Jesus or his teachings. With Christ being the cornerstone of our faith – the topic is always correct. Use a parable or select one teaching, and build on it. With youth you can do the same.

As for being uplifted during services, bring a devotional book or print some of your favorite conference talks, bring them read them, take personal notes on them. I always carry a stack of 3×5 cards with uplifting quotes on them. Quietly, privately I file through them and let them and their words uplift me. I also carry Max Lucado’s hand held devotional book or Elder Uchdorf’s book about the value of women. Those reflect my spirituality and faith. They aren’t material that could cause conflict and I enjoy the meetings much better.

I always keep them with me, the minute uncomfortable topics come up, I grab them. Sometimes I just stare at them till I calm down or other times I just let their hope engulf me. Before I know it – my worship has been fulfilling.

Stake missions were eliminated a few years ago. The local mission structure was consolidated at the ward and branch level.

by Heber13

It makes me think of Wendy Ulrich’s speech that I’ve always liked. In it she says that after going through a stage of honeymoon phase, power struggle, and withdrawal phases…we may be ready to try to reconnect because…

We come to accept our spouse or our parents or the Church, and we come to accept ourselves. We allow God to run the universe, and we become more content to let go of things we cannot change. A deeper, more mature love begins to emerge, with fewer power struggles and less disengagement. We do not need to see all the answers, and we do not need perfection by our standards in order to not be embarrassed or ashamed of our Church, our partner, or our God. We reinvest in the relationship, not because we have decided to risk yet one more time that we will not get hurt only to have the rug pulled out yet one more time from under us, but because we have learned that hurt can be survived, that this is a risk worth taking, and that it does not mean we cannot be happy or that we are irrational suckers or that we are doomed to failure because we take another chance on trust or because we fail or are failed again. We see ourselves and our partner more realistically, and we do not run from either vision. We recognize that we can be hurt by being betrayed or we can be hurt by not trusting, but we don’t get the no-hurt choice because there isn’t one, at least not until we simply choose not to read betrayal into every ecclesiastical failure, or abandonment into every unanswered prayer.

When you realize you don’t have a choice that includes the “no pain” scenario…then the best of two imperfect scenarios becomes your best choice, and can be worthwhile rather than waiting endlessly for the perfect scenario. Then, you can stay on your terms…and own your religion.

This was very mind blowing for me to read. It really struck me how my relationship with the church can definitely be compared to my relationships with other people and myself. For the last few years I have been working on overcoming some of my own personal baggage that has caused lots of problems in my life. As I have become healthier I have found myself becoming more accepting of other people and a bit more accepting of myself. It will be interesting to apply the same techniques I have used with myself and others towards the church. I really was struck by this quote, “We reinvest in the relationship, not because we have decided to risk yet one more time that we will not get hurt only to have the rug pulled out yet one more time from under us, but because we have learned that hurt can be survived, that this is a risk worth taking” Even though there has been some extreme hurt there has been a lot of good in my relationship with the church. I will definitely read the rest of Wendy’s speech.

As much as I have come a long ways from the time I first introduced myself on this site there is still a long journey ahead of me. It has not been that long since the start of my faith crisis. I still am struggling with wanting answers. Part of me is really hoping I can determine what is exactly true and false (which is part of stage 4 if I understand that correctly). This isn’t fully a stage thing either, it really runs in my personality to understand things fully and to have things perfect/right. So not only am I going through a stage that is seeking to correct my disillusionment, but my personality is screaming at me to figure it out so the dissonance goes away. Sigh. This doesn’t help at all with figuring out how to participate. Well at least I have the rest of my life to figure it out. I can look at it as a fun/obnoxious puzzle :think: