Hello, how i got here.

Right now I kind think there is no god. I kinda feel its something people made up to explain what they could not answer and to place hope that we live on after death.

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I choose to believe in God because I want to believe in God – although I am intellectually agnostic about it.

Welcome. I hope we can learn from each other.

Welcome my friend. Many of here on this site have asked that question and we all have different answers or maybe no answers at all and that is the beauty of this site. There really are on wrong answers. For me I think I still believe in God but my views of prayer and how God answers them has changed. I have a hard time asking for blessings but I like to give thanks. My prayers are usually answered by other people or finding the answers myself. I pray for forgiveness and then try to forgive myself and hopes God understands. I have felt promtings many times but they haven’t always come as a result of prayer and I guess I can accept that as an answer of some kind. I guess I am saying I don’t know for sure but I maintain a hope there is a God and that he cares and when he sees fit he will throw us a bone.

I think the footprints in the sand story does a disservice to reality. If we were carried through all the tough parts, it would need no effort on our part….I think there actually are moments where the God I believe in takes a step back, not because of our unrighteousness, but because to always sort stuff for us would lead to complete spiritual/emotional incapacity. Sometimes we have to ride without stabilisers (training wheels for you americans) and it hurts when we fall. And I dislike falling and don’t want to have to. I don’t appreciate it and would rather do without it. But maybe that’s when the best iteration happens.

This reminds me of a poem my favorite Institute teacher shared with me:

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there was seen,

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”

Those prints are large and round and neat,

“But Lord they are too big for feet.”

“My child,” He said in somber tones,

“For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait.”

“You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know.

So I got tired, I got fed up,

and there I dropped you on your butt.”

“Because in life, there comes a time,

when one must fight, and one must climb.

When one must rise and take a stand,

or leave their butt prints in the sand.”

I hope I haven’t offended anybody… :clap:

Not offended, it made me chuckle.

Being a bit of a pedant though I’d probably take up the message in this that we only find ourselves alone and on our butt because of disobedience.

Sometimes very strictly obedient church members have periods of time of feeling or at a distance to the heavens.

But I still enjoyed the poem

I really am thankfull for all the comments. I was pretty brief on my post because I was rushed for time.

I am 27 now to give you an idea on time. I have sheared my doubts with my wife and my mom. I met my wife after my mission. she was raised catholic but was investigating the lds faith. I met her because a friend of mine told her she should ask me her questions because I am was returned missionary. Turned out she had heard of me from another one of her friends also whom I dated and also wanted to know why we broke up. So he gave her my number and she called me. We became best friends and I baptized her. later we dated and married.

My point is I was very sure of the church and followed it well. I just don’t feel I know God’s real though. I struggled with that when I was around 16 and now again. The reason has always been prayer

I pray and pray and feel I waste my time. I don’t see an answer definitely not like you read in the scriptures. My patriarchal blessing says when I have a tough choice to make, pray. I feel like why, its not like I will get an answer. Can he answer? I really don’t know.

I feel if god is real then he must not be able to hear and answer prayer. This makes sense to me because we know God has more creations then all the sand in the ocean aka with out number. With that many other planets with his sons and daughters on them how can he hear and answer all our prayers. God is not magical, he follows laws of science. So how is that possible? Also in the pearl of great price it explains where god lives. He is on a planet by a star/sun called Kolob but his planet is farther away from the sum than our is hence it’s description of how there years are longer than ours. So that being the case we know he is not hovering around just listening to the countless prayers being said by numerous people. he is on his planet far away so how would he even be able to hear our voice. He can’t be every where at once.

I have not made a study of it yet but I recall Jesus taught us how to pray but did he say why or that god answers prayer? I do not believe so.

I therefore feel that god does not hear or answer prayer. If he is real I think he taught us true principles and has left us to learn them and governs our selves.

Also I said this on another forum. In scripture it says come unto Christ and take his yoke upon us and he will make our burdens light. Well as a child around third grade I have some of the hardest burdens of my life. I was younger than 8 – an innocent child as we teach. I was new to this area and was instantly picked on. It got bad I was beat up ever day after I got off the bus by a group of about ten kids or so. I was an active kid and played out side for hours every day till this time. I was too afraid to go outside because if one of them was out there and saw me they would beat me up. Once when I tried to go to a friends house that happened. I was beat up and I tried to run a kid got on his nick and went after me with a rope. He lassoed me around the neck and the drug me to a tree. Tied me to it beat me up some more and left me. Luckily I got free of the ropes and ran home. My mom saw my condition when I came in and was shocked. I had rope burns and bruises. Because I stayed inside for fear of being beat up I gained weight. I have never been able to lose it all since then. Where was god to take on my burdens and make them light…..I was an innocent child. My sister was raped when she was 12. where was he then? My wife way held basically prisoner in an apartment by her first boy friend. they drugged her and raped her and manipulated her into doing sexual favor to them threatening.her life and her family. They left her so emotionally damaged and dropped her off at a mental hospital. She was so traumatized that she believed the lies they said about her when they left her where true till later things became clearer. Where was god there to lighten her burdens? A boss at my works was talking to some people in the office and I over heard his conversation. He too is confused about god. I work for a company in hospice care. He said he knew a family who where good people. They had a 12 year old daughter that developed a terminal illness that slowly and painfully killed her. he could not see how a loving god could let that happen to her and her family.

My other issue is this. Read the scriptures, they depict a god who is very active and clearly makes his presence known which brings many believers. I am yet to see his hand in my life and HIS presence has not been made known. From how many times I have have sought his counsel in prayer and deed and found my mind and heart left with dead air it is hard for me to keep believing.

That’s why now I feel if god is real he must not be able to interact with us as much as we are led to believe.

Also if you look at history there has always been some sort of god figure and some sort of existence after death. To me it makes me feel that this is some primitive idea that was made as an answer to these in educated people as to why things are. I feel it was passed down and we are left with our modernized, more sophisticated version of the same thing. Also it was used to give people hope about death. They didn’t want to think after they die they no longer exists. So ya that’s another idea of an answer to my questions.

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I didn’t mention the foot prints in the sand thing here but I did on a different site lol did you read it on the ldsintamacy forum?

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Lol, no I’m not stalking you I’d not heard of that forum, sounds interesting.

I used the example simply because it’s one that implies we’re going to be carried any time it’s tough. I don’t think that’s true. I think sometimes we’re left alone/at a distance. Not because we’ve been ‘bad’ but to give us a chance to be a little more independent.

It’s only a lie if the people who quote it don’t believe what they are quoting. Pretty much everyone I know who quotes it, believes it, so there is no lie – and I personally can accept that God carries some people, in some way, while not carrying others in the same way.

That’s true, especially, since I believe we are gods and that the kingdom of God is within us. Taken in that light, I know that some people carry themselves through difficulties through which others can’t carry themselves. I think the message of an atonement says that’s OK – that both still are gods and children of the Most High God and are loved equally regardless. No matter how I view an atonement (literally, symbolically, allegorically, etc.), I really like that message.

Just something to consider.