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I am just feeling so run down and feel as if I am nearing my breaking point. Between in-laws (that are hyper sensitive and like to over step their bounds) to dealing with my ward I just want to give up and drop out. Hopefully this is just temporary but I need to vent none-the-less. – In February my DS will have been a deacon for a year and despite trying to work with his leaders he is still being marginalized and excluded by the other boys. He doesn’t want to go to YM most weeks as a result and honestly I don’t blame.
– Our family has been in the ward for over 3 years now and still no one (save one family in the last 6 months) is willing to include us in their circle of friends. I guess that’s what we get for having a wife who is a working professional and a husband who is willing to carry the majority of the homemaking work.
– My wife was called to the nursery a few months ago and she has to work with a lady who is part of the local ward “royalty”. She has been given the cold shoulder to my DW since she started. On Sunday my wife finds out that this lady (who is the nursery leader) isn’t there that day. My wife panics as she did not bring a snack. I offer to go home and prepare one and my DW agrees. While I am gone my wife checks her email and sees that this woman did email her Saturday night. My wife doesn’t check her email often and so she sends this lady an email explaining that it might be best to text her when she is going to be away. This lady responds back that she sent the email Wednesday and that my wife should have seen it. My wife then responds that is was weird that she did not get the email until Saturday and that it must of go lost in cyber space but everything worked out okay. Well this morning my wife finds a new email in which this woman launches an all out attack on my wife and how if she wants to take over she can and on and on about my wife’s character. My poor DW was left in tears as she was going off to work. I told my wife to contact the Bishop and explain what happened and let him know that she would not be working in the nursery again. She agreed which is major as my wife has never, ever turned down a calling or asked to be released. Due to this woman’s status in the ward I am sure that my wife will be vilified within a certain large social group in the ward.
– I have a home-teaching companionship interview with the EQ tonight. They are doing it as companionship and not individually which is weird. Anyways, I told the Bishop in March that I would not be doing HT and he said that he could not release me from this responsibility. I told him I wouldn’t be doing it regardless. However, I have been out twice since then since I like my companion and his is my only psuedo-friend in the ward. I have decided that in my interview I will tell the EQ that my companion should be placed with someone else since he is a good man and wants to do his best and I will only pull him down. I made up my mind after the last time I went out that I am not going to HT in this ward again for the foreseeable future. I am stressed because I don’t like having to be confrontational, I deal with confrontation all day at work so I try to avoid it in my personal life. But I can’t seem to avoid it. I’m just going to have to tell the EQ that I am done and leave it at that. The Bishop knows that I have only been attending SM since March and he hasn’t tried to make me a project yet so hopefully when word gets back to him I will remain in the shadows of the ward.
Anyway, I am tired of trying. If it wasn’t for my two younger sons I don’t think I would go back to church in this ward again. Oh well, perhaps this trial will pass or perhaps it won’t. It’s out of my hands now because I choose to no longer put energy into it.
Hi Canucknuckle. Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through.
It’s miserable to be marginalised. Some people just miss the point of a community of people following christian principles of behaviour.
I can’t really offer any advice, but I hope that being able to have a place to honestly express your annoyance is helpful.
Hey Northern Neighbor, I don’t have any great advice but I do know how you feel.
I have been working Sundays and taking a big break in the middle of my work day to attend SM with the family. No props for the extra effort.
Other than my SM attendance, DW is getting the kids ready – dealing with them at church – and then taking them home. No props for this either. In fact DW routinely feels as though people are looking down on her for our children’s behaviour.
The talks in SM are of very poor quality. Last Sunday a woman related how her uncle told her that if she obeyed the prophet by taking out her extra earing then she might just be able to find a husband. I felt the comment was inappropriate and tactless, but then after several months of not wearing the additional earing she does start to date her future husband – and “Presto-Chango” these thoughtless words get elevated to the status of inspired counsel and shared with the rest of us as an example to emulate.
The good news is that my involvment is limited down to only 1 hour a week. Unfortunately that is also the bad news as I feel about as connected to this ward as I might a group of strangers. This is not the ward’s or the Church’s fault – it is what it is. But it doesn’t make it any easier to keep going week after week.
The local leaders and members make such a HUGE difference. I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulties. It sounds like you have an understanding Bishop, so I might consider talking with him and sharing all of this. He might or might not know about it, and he might or might not be able to do anything about it, but I would want to know if it was me in that position.
Old-Timer wrote:The local leaders and members make such a HUGE difference.
I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulties. It sounds like you have an understanding Bishop, so I might consider talking with him and sharing all of this. He might or might not know about it, and he might or might not be able to do anything about it, but I would want to know if it was me in that position.
This current Bishop is far better than the man that was Bishop the first 2 1/2 years we were in this ward. I spoke to our current Bishop back in March and shared all of my concerns with him. He was pretty good about things. He said he would like to come by my house sometime and talk more. Sadly, this never came to pass. I don’t blame him. After all having a ward of over 600 people (450 on average each week) with 2 families moving in weekly has got to be more than a little time consuming. I don’t really feel like my problems are all that big in the grand scheme of things. I simply don’t like church and hate dealing with my ward.
But thank you all for your words of sympathy and support.
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