Should I resign as EQ counselor?

Two quick things:

1) If you get in the habit of running away from difficult things that you don’t like doing, it can become habitual. There is great growth available in learning to do things you don’t like doing – and, in some cases, learning to like those things by doing them.

2) Having said that, being happy and finding joy isn’t possible in all situations. Sometimes, we really do have to walk away from some things.

I don’t know the answer to your title question, but my gut instinct is that your calling is not something that I would say you must resign for some objective reason. I talk all the time about how and why I struggle with Home Teaching, for example – and I did it in the Bishopric, on the High Council, in PPI’s (on both sides of the interviews), etc. I’m not a good Home Teacher, in the traditional program, and I know it – and I am looking at ways to be better at it, but I think it’s important to have people within the leadership structure of that program for whom it’s not easy. It helps keep things real, and that’s important, imo.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask to be released. As always, ultimately, I’m saying it’s your call. All I’m saying is that I don’t see, personally, an objective need that rises to the level it would take for me to say, “Run away!” (in my best Monty Python voice)

I don’t think the church is literally capital-T True, but that something like God is out there and cares about us, but that there isn’t one true way. He helps people help people, so churches have good in them….

If you really do believe that God gives us opportunities to help one another (that’s my interpretation of what you wrote), and if helping others is something you want to do, and if you think your EQ calling gives you those opportunities, then you don’t need to ask to be released.

They don’t pay us a dime, and we pay them plenty of dimes!

There is no silver bullet answer here. When I read through what is bothering you, I was thinking it might even be good to talk about it with whoever is setting the direction and explain why you think there is a better direction (come up with one first!). Temple attendance is a proxy for what exactly? Getting people to come to church and pay tithing? Technically, nobody is required to attend after their own endowment. That’s all just repetition. So, it’s reasonable to ask why that is the focus. I’d avoid sharing your own discomfort with the temple, but if you feel it, others do too, or they just aren’t at a point in their lives where temple attendance is a good use of their time (e.g. have young kids, busy careers, etc.). What IS a good way to “perfect the saints” in your ward? What’s the better vision? I’d give it a think and put that forward. Then if the bishop or whoever wants to go another direction and can’t convince you their vision is what makes a difference, you can just explain your heart isn’t inspired by their vision and maybe they are better served by someone who thinks their way is best.

Trying to do something you don’t believe in is very tough in your job or the church. I do believe, even know firsthand, that the church usually brings out better things in people than they get without its influence. BUT that doesn’t mean every program is equally inspired or that there isn’t more than one way to skin a cat. I’ve been in a situation where I was in charge of something but the person over me wanted it done in a very specific way that just didn’t fit my style. I told her I just didn’t work that way, and asked if she would rather have someone else who wanted to do it her way. She backed off and let me do what I thought was best. Maybe good help was hard to find!

This is a good discussion. I’m in a similar situation myself. I need to renew my recommend. The difference is I can’t always get a ride to the temple. It’s a hour-and-a-half drive away. Does anybody here know if have to buy all your temple clothing now? I heard from a conference you do.

It sounds like you are a person who needs to feel that his actions are meaningful and values-driven. I am one of those people, too. When I am less passionate about church, or my work, I feel inauthentic.

Since you no longer believe in a Capital “C” Church (and there isn’t a better one out there?) maybe it would help to think about EQ as a fraternal order with the goal of relieving the burdens of people within your community. Its about brotherhood and service, rather than a priesthood royal army. This can be difficult if you are asked to teach, bear testimony, or give blessings. It may not be so bad if you teach and bear testimony of things you do believe, and see blessings as a way to focus positive energy for a person in distress. I don’t know…

I kind of agree with Hawkgirl about the temple thing. What is it a proxy for? You’ve already received your own ordinances. Do you see a value in doing something for the dead that they may not be able to do for themselves? Is that value worth the cost in tithing, service, etc.? For me, it isn’t right now, but that might change. I no longer believe that our current temple ordinances are word-for-word revelation–I think they are an inspired morality play with rituals through which we can make important promises to God. It could have been clothed in any form, and the pseudo-masonic creation and fall drama is just as good any any other…

I am also in an EQP and I am having to work out how to be true to my calling and examine each of my beliefs to determine what to keep, and what to chuck. It’s not an easy path, but I feel it is important for my own personal integrity.

Thanks, hawkgirl, for the information.