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When I got home tonight, my second daughter immediately called me in to where she was studying for Seminary and asked me to help her understand something. In Seminary this morning, they watched a little video clip about John 4 – the story of the Samaritan woman at the well, and my daughter was confused about something in it. Before the video clip played, the students were asked to look for what the scene said about the woman’s sin – but my daughter didn’t see anything about sin in the clip – or in the chapter itself when she read it again tonight to see what she missed. She assumed the sin they were supposed to see was adultery, but she just couldn’t see that as being said in the story. She asked me two things: if there was sin implied in the story and, if not, why the video would ask them to look for it.
I told her, not for the first time, that we tend to read into things (not just scriptures) whatever fits our own perspective and assumptions – that, in a story about a woman who had five husbands and currently lives with a man who is not her husband, we assume adultery without reading carefully. We talked about how it would be easy for this woman not to be an adulteress – that, perhaps, she was an older woman who simply had had five husbands die and didn’t want to have that happen again with the man with whom she lived at the time. Maybe there was no sex involved at all, especially if they both were old enough to be near the end of their lives. Jesus didn’t “call her to repentance” in anything he said, and adultery never was mentioned in any way. Furthermore, even if there was sex involved in the current relationship, that would have been fornication, not adultery.
She asked if the sin might be lying about her situation, but when I pointed out that the woman had answered simply, directly and honestly, she saw that immediately. (“Go get your husband.” “I have no husband.” “You are telling the truth, since you have had five husbands in the past and aren’t married to the man with whom you live now.”)
I told her the people who made the video simply accepted their assumptions and the implications that made sense to them – that they didn’t think about it critically and credit multiple possibilities.
Before I had time to leave the room, she looked up at me and said, “Wait, dad. After this, she went to everyone and told them what had happened – and they believed her and went to Jesus to be taught by him. They wouldn’t have done that if she had been an adulterer, would they – especially with five marriages?” I congratulated her on seeing that, and she said, before I could say it, “I know. Don’t take verses all by themselves. Read the context before you decide what they mean.”
I then told my next oldest daughter to get to bed. She asked if she could finish reading the scriptures for the night, and I said fine – as long as she was in bed in five minutes. She looked me in the eye, grinned, and said, “I can’t read the scriptures in five minutes if I’m actually trying to understand them. I need to read and think about each sentence, don’t I?”
I love my kids.
:clap: 😆 :thumbup: It isn’t easy, but it’s important to hang on and teach your kids how to deal with things that don’t make sense to them – and how to think about and try to understand for themselves what they read and hear. The daughters about whom I am talking are 17 and 14 – and they didn’t get this way overnight.
High five Ray, to you and your girls. Great story. Great kids. I wonder where they get it from? Very good, Ray. Great example of instilling a non check-the-box mentality so prevalent in the LDS youth. The passage in question is one of the most meaningful in the NT, and the way it was apparently portrayed in the class is a great example of layering too much analysis and obscuring the main focus of the story.
Quote:13 Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
Everything else is just secondary. Sure, there is value in noting that the woman was not only a Samaritan, but also seemed not to be exactly living a pius life (although, I too would stop short of the “sinner” label). After all, it was a common theme of the Gospel writers to point out how Jesus kept company with Roman collaborators, party-goers, and sinners, while at the same time eschewing the institutionally religious. But these secondary elements are only of value if we don’t lose site of the two verses above, which are far more important.
Parenthetically, the Gospel of John, offers a parallel two chapters later:
Quote:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.
48 I am that bread of life.
49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.
50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.
51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever…
But alas, the film and class discussion put over-emphasis on pointing out the sins of the Samaritan woman.
It is similar to the interpretation of parables… people get so wrapped around the axle about specific elements of symbolism (minutiae) that they miss, or at least devalue, the mainline point of the story (message).
Nice going, bringing it back to the context, as you say.
It sounds like you are doing a good job on raising those girls. Two thumbs up from me. How are things going for your daughter who is going on her mission? Egad…this brings back a bit of pain. I wish I could go back in time and teach my kids again.. I bought the whole “just follow this formula and your kids will be fine” garbage.. Funny..I have paid around 100k or more in tithing….and the only things I resent in church is the way it meddled in my sex life, and how it treated my kids
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What an awesome experience, Ray. That chapter is one of my favorites. For some reason, Jesus and the woman at the well is a powerful story to me. Her testimony of the Messiah encouraged many in the town to come and see for themselves. What a great statement about the power of women. Your daughters sound wonderful! Do you know the book
Sisters at the Well, by a couple named Holzapfel? It’s a great title about the power of women in the Gospels. It might be a good read for your daughters. I have a question to put out there. Are you now completely honest with your kids now concerning all your church issues? I have found that I am not. I have talked to some of my kids and and my wife and even a few close friends and I don’t tell them too much. I have talked to a one son about tithing and not paying more than is required, gross vs net vs surplus, but didn’t get to deep. I find that I am still afraid to say too much because I don’t what those to whom I’m closest to to know that I am this confused, faithless, doubting mess. I have tried a few times to be honest and it just made others uncomfortable and I don’t want to damage them or cause them to have doubts and I guess I don’t want to look bad in their eyes. The only place I feel I can be 100% honest is here. I really do thank all of you for that. I have opened up some, especially when I hear things I think might do damage, IMHO. How do you guys manage to straddle that line? Honest? Yes, absolutely. Totally open? (meaning, do I share everything I believe with them?) Of course not. I wouldn’t teach a third grader trigonometry, either.
I share what I think is appropriate, but what I share without being asked generally deal with principles, not with details or theology.
I just had a conversation with one of my children about feeling connected to God. I told her honestly that I simply am not a very feeling person when it comes to spiritual things – that I have had a few very strong experiences, but, generally, I am a thinker rather than a feeler. She has a hard time feeling spiritually connected to Heavenly Father, since there is so little, when it comes down to it, about Him – but she connects naturally with Jesus.
It was a good discussion, mostly because she initiated it – and she initiated it largely because she knows I see things differently than most people and won’t mock or demean her if she has questions or sees things differently than I do.
I’m pretty honest. The fear of what to tell kids was the biggest hurdle I’ve had in regards to faith.
You can’t put the cat back in the bag…I just did what I felt was right…the consequences will follow.
church0333, It’s tough… like cwald, I think it was the toughest thing for me.
Every situation is different and it largely depends on the age of your kids, but what I have found to work from me, whether I’m talking to my wife, my kids, my family, my friends, or non-members, is that I’m no longer a believer, but I support those who are, including my family. I don’t get into why. I don’t have to defend my beliefs and I don’t ask anyone to defend theirs. I don’t want anyone to try to convince me and I don’t try to convince them. I believe faith is a wonderful thing, that should be kept in those lucky enough to have it. I would never want to take away someone else’s faith. I hope my kids can keep their faith. I will love them just as much either way.
My kids are still little and haven’t had time to be taught a lot of the false ideas perpetuated in the church. When they ask questions, I reason with them, asking them what is fair and right and what is not. They understand these things so much better than adults. That said, I don’t initiate gospel conversations with my kids anymore because my husband doesn’t want me to teach them “false doctrine.” I told him it’s his job to teach the kids spiritual truth so I wouldn’t say anything to them. Still teaching them to reason things out though. My main concern is that they learn to discern the truth.
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