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I was teaching the Deacons a lesson from the new curriculum“Staying Within The Lines” videoallthe lesson material first. My first issue was that it was a video loaded to teach chastity, with a strong focus on pornography. I have issues with the idea of beating the kids down over something that they all have or will have experiences with. I agree that pornography isn’t good, but I disagree with the way the church deals with it. I think the sexual repression and prohibition attitude creates more addicts and problems than would otherwise arise. I was also irked with the fact that they lumped profanity in with pornography and fornication. I don’t swear, but I don’t see swearing as one of the deal breakers for celestial happiness. You wouldn’t believe how often my deacons use language as benchmark for good vs bad kids at their schools. My frustration with this one wasn’t huge, but was compounded by my next issue.
This relied heavily on fear to influence youth to follow the chosen path. I almost shut the video off when Holland said his bit about boys who go on missions with un-repented sins will try and speak, but can’t as the words will choke up in their throats and not allow them to speak. BULL CRAP! Anyone who has served a mission has seen examples of missionaries with unresolved sins doing great work. This kind of rhetoric is manipulative and reminded me of the lies that I was told at youth conference when I was 14. We were told that masturbation was a sin that would lead to impotence, infertility, marital dysfunction and even homosexuality. I wonder what lying is the gateway sin for?
Using fear to influence people to choose the right is wrong! In a sense, it feels like this manipulation removes a bit of our agency as we aren’t able to make properly informed decisions. This all bothered me so much. I don’t want to be one of the leaders that manipulates the truth in order to create blind followers. I think I ended up salvaging the lesson, by skewing Hollands analogy a bit and focused on repentance being like taking a foul. No need to be embarrassed or guilt ridden for taking a foul in a game. Just take your fouls and keep playing as best you can.
Good redirection. Yeah, it’s important to review everything that might be used in a lesson.
I had an interesting thought as I read your post. Maybe you were impressed to show the video specifically so you could redirect the message and keep the students from having it presented in a more traditional way – and internalizing that message. Maybe YOU were impressed to teach what YOU taught to YOUR students.
That feels right to me, at least.
Old-Timer wrote:Maybe YOU were impressed to teach what YOU taught to YOUR students.
Good point. In fact, if I had watched the video prior to the lesson, I may not have let the lesson go there and been able to share those thoughts.
The tone of the video still kills a little piece of me. There are times when I am hopeful for positive change in the church. Then I see stuff like this video, or the Packer voting on gender video and I am bothered that this is part of the new curriculum. It was easier to overlook the antiquated old lessons. But knowing that time, effort and tithing dollars go into this is frustrating.
On a positive note, I can see how this new program really gives flexibility to teach the topics needed. A lesson like this, could have easily been redirected to teach about any rules as needed. I just happened to stumble down the road of chastity and most pernicious evil known as profanity.
😈 I had a friend who was a bishop in West Valley Utah. His stake did a survey among the youth asking them to rank various sins in order of severity. The outcomes were somewhat shocking – more kids considered profanity a serious sin than several of the violations of chastity! Adultery is serious and rape is worse… but fornication as a more serious sin than injecting heroin with a dirty needle, wife beating, house breaking etc?! I think our society is too promiscuous and that is a problem (STDs etc) but worse than these? hawkgrrrl wrote:I had a friend who was a bishop in West Valley Utah. His stake did a survey among the youth asking them to rank various sins in order of severity. The outcomes were somewhat shocking – more kids considered profanity a serious sin than several of the violations of chastity!
Reminds me of a joke we used to tell.
What did the good Mormon girl do when she caught her boyfriend smoking a cigarette? …she put her clothes back on and dumped him.
I questioned my deacons in class last year. What is more serious, and they all said getting drunk was worse than sex.
I teach Deacons too. I previewed that video and there was no way I was going to show that. In my experience some of the most spiritual and inspiring leaders/ and teachers have had sordid private lives. I think it is more accurate to state that you can’t have the spirit if you hate yourself. ihhi wrote:hawkgrrrl wrote:I questioned my deacons in class last year. What is more serious, and they all said getting drunk was worse than sex.
What about drunk sex?
😳 I think teaching consequences is far more valuable that just saying “God thinks you are naughty!”. A real, honest discussion about teenage pregnancy and STDs are a lot more scary than “Someday you will forget a scripture when you need it most!” Oh the horror!
🙄 Getting drunk can be WAY worse than sex – and sex can be WAY worse than getting drunk – and sex and getting drunk can be equally bad (or good, or neutral). I wish we would teach that basic concept and stop creating a one-size-fits-all ranking of generalized actions as sin.
One of the issues with teaching about these activities in this manner (alcohol use, smoking, pornography) is that the youth get the notion that they cannot be forgiven and so once they stumble a bit (take one sip of a beer) they say to themselves, “Well, I’m already damned I might as well go the whole way” and go on a drinking binge (for example). I think avoiding these activities IS the best tactic but we have to inject some reality into our conversations with youth. Many of them will take that drink, or that drag, or view that inappropriate image on the internet and then what? If repentance is not emphasized, they will assume that they are forever tainted regardless of what follows. Gerald wrote:One of the issues with teaching about these activities in this manner (alcohol use, smoking, pornography) is that the youth get the notion that they cannot be forgiven and so once they stumble a bit (take one sip of a beer) they say to themselves, “Well, I’m already damned I might as well go the whole way” and go on a drinking binge (for example). I think avoiding these activities IS the best tactic but we have to inject some reality into our conversations with youth. Many of them will take that drink, or that drag, or view that inappropriate image on the internet and then what? If repentance is not emphasized, they will assume that they are forever tainted regardless of what follows.
A bit of a thread jack – but I really dislike the definition of Grace from our bible dictionary that gets brought out every time (it seems to me) grace is mentioned in Sunday School. If grace is the enabling power that allows me to resist and endure beyond my normal power to do so then what is left after I screw up? Perhaps mercy, but that too seems to be underrepresented in our SS discussions.
Old-Timer wrote:Getting drunk can be WAY worse than sex – and sex can be WAY worse than getting drunk – and sex and getting drunk can be equally bad (or good, or neutral).
I wish we would teach that basic concept and stop creating a one-size-fits-all ranking of generalized actions as sin.
Like when people think that they get a free pass on non-vaginal sex or a friend of mine that smoked basil and oregano because it was the nicotine that made smoking bad (never mind that smoke inhalation in itself is harmful).
Gerald wrote:One of the issues with teaching about these activities in this manner (alcohol use, smoking, pornography) is that the youth get the notion that they cannot be forgiven and so once they stumble a bit (take one sip of a beer) they say to themselves, “Well, I’m already damned I might as well go the whole way” and go on a drinking binge (for example). I think avoiding these activities IS the best tactic but we have to inject some reality into our conversations with youth. Many of them will take that drink, or that drag, or view that inappropriate image on the internet and then what? If repentance is not emphasized, they will assume that they are forever tainted regardless of what follows.
I actually have been there as a teenager. “Well I’m going to have to go to the Bishop, might as well do this a few more times before that happens!” I just don’t think religious consequences are a huge deterrent for many, other than a deterrent for getting caught.
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