New bishopric

All we can do here is give general advice about general situations, based on our own experiences and perspectives. Please don’t ever think that we are telling anyone what to do. We only are offering suggestions, and, often, our suggestions aren’t unanimous.

I say that only to emphasize that it’s fine to tell some leaders about a crisis of faith – and even details with some leaders. Our general advice is more to be cautious and only share details when you are sure the person will be supportive, whether or not they understand. It’s not, “Nod and go along with everything, even if you have to be disingenuous in the process,” and it’s never, “Lie just to get through it.” It’ more, “Go with how you feel is best in the moment / Follow you heart.”

There is no problem “making your case” with a new Bishop, as long as he will understand your heart. If it comes out sounding like unrepentant blaming of the former Bishop, that could cause issues; if it comes across as nothing more than a sincere desire to return to full standing ASAP, it will be appreciated. I can’t make that call for you, and neither can anyone else. It has to be whatever you feel is right for you.

Having said all of that, I’m glad to hear that you like your new bishopric and that you are optimistic about things moving forward. That always is a good thing.

Roy,

I can totally relate with what you are going through, having gone through a similar situation myself. I was disfellowshipped a few years ago. The period of disfellowshipment was one year. I have to say that it was the worst experience I have had in the church, as I have never felt more alienated, isolated, and alone (I still experience repercussions from it). I’ve heard stories of others who have felt an outpouring of love, welcoming, etc. with their “discipline” process…unfortunately, I did not have that experience. As a result, I felt VERY motivated to just do/say whatever needed to be said/done, just to get done with it (and be reinstated). It wasn’t that I was insincere or that I didn’t take the repentance process very seriously, because I did. But, now looking back…I would do things differently. I had been in “faith crisis” for several years when I was disfellowshipped. But, I never really “dealt” with those issues….just kind of glossed over them so that I could “make restitution” to the people that I hurt and “make everything OK” again. In the end, I really was not ready to be “reinstated”, and I wish now that I had dealt with things more courageously. Ignoring/avoiding the issues that played such a powerful part in getting me “there” was a mistake. I guess I would just say this: As unpleasant as it can be to be disfellowshipped, I would think really hard about how/when you go about the reinstatement process. I do think it is really important to be honest and genuine; not to just “jump through the hoops”. I think this will actually help you to “go forward on your own terms”. What if you never come to agree with the decision they made to disfellowship you? I’m not sure about that one….I just know that I would work hard to come to a “place” where you can be open about your real feelings, try to take “counsel”, but ultimately you need to be reinstated when you are ready — whatever that means. If that means that “they” will not allow the reinstatement to happen, then I guess I would reevaluate my “course” at that time. The process is definitely a humbling (sometimes humiliating) experience. I wish you only the best, moving forward.