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I check an old thread on Mormon Mommy Wars about once a year to see if anyone has added new experiences to the comments. It is hilarious – gut busting, tears forming hilarious. I remembered the thread today (for reasons not required to be shared), and I figured I would give everyone a LONG (331 comments over four years) laugh at Mormon culture.
Enjoy!! – and feel free to add any experiences in the thread.
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Adventures in Arizona” ( http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=659 )That was well worth my time. Only made it to comment 44…but will be going back to finish. Good stuff. “Scrotum.”
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Very funny! Also, I have never been in a ward in which people were kissing during sacrament meeting. I have seen the back rubbing / ear tickling, but that’s it. Just wait, cwald. Don’t skip ahead to read them, but you soon will get to comments #71 and #73, which are . . . indescribable. 😮 😯 :wtf: Also, I lived in Boston for six years, so #77 cracked. me. up.
😆 cwald wrote:That was well worth my time. Only made it to comment 44…but will be going back to finish. His stuff.
“Scrotum.”
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I know a witness to this event. I asked her twice whether she might be embellishing, but she swears she isn’t.
While I would never show outward displays of affection in church like kissing, does it seem like this woman is a bit too bothered by this? Just wondering what you all think? Part of me thinks this lady is over reacting, but part of me believes that it is really good to act in a reverent manner in church.
Made it to 100. “Genitals.”
“A love of fine cheese…”
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Ok. They are getting better. 104, 112, 122….classic Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
Here’s my personal funniest SM xperience. This old guy falls asleep during SM a few rows in front of me and DH. Not just nodding off, but full out head tilted all the way back, mouth wide open, and quiet snoring. I kid you not, we watched a bug fly into his mouth causing him to wake up coughing and sputtering and swallowing the fly. We couldn’t stop laughing. We had to leave the chapel. Pretty good thread but I must admit after the fifth story about children burping, I skipped the kiddie ones. A bit of local color is never a bad thing in our monochrome world. As long as it’s not extreme.
Our ward boasts or boasted:
* A man who regularly turns up in running gear, and once admitted to punching a senior missionary.
* A couple whose first names are identical bar one letter.
* A mentally challenged guy who regularly says how he’s persuaded politicians to change the law on X, Y & Z.
* His girlfriend who sits in the foyer knitting until SM, when she goes into the chapel and knits through SM with bundles of wool falling on the floor.
* Someone who gets up and bears his testimony about the “church of Mormon”.
* A woman who often attends barefoot.
* A girl named after a famous poet from Lesbos.
Maybe I count as I can see people’s auras when they stand up at the pulpit and talk in SM.
Some of the stories shared in these comments were pretty funny too: http://bycommonconsent.com/2013/04/17/worst-mormon-date-ever/ I could not believe the one where the guy said he’d shoot a puppy! What is wrong with people?
The squirrel story in SM was hilarious. I also wondered about the “love of fine cheeses” being a mis-hear of something with “Jesus.”
I lived in the Boston area for six years. I can believe the love of fine cheeses was heard correctly. 😆 I went to see this film on a date, read the synopsis here and you’ll see why it was inappropriate.- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malice_(film) It got suggested to her by her closet lesbian “friend”, and I’ve always suspected it was deliberate as she was trying to make moves on her, and from what I hear, eventually succeeded.
Someone mentioned starting a post about weird things said in church, so I thought I would bump us this thread so everyone who missed it initially can spend a few hours laughing so hard they cry. Seriously, have tissue with you when you read this. It is beyond hilarious.
Ray…pretty funny thread on that other blog. Good entertaining reading. I might think they were all urban legends if I hadn’t been to a F&T meeting myself. Here’s my story I can share…
I was conducting a meeting where we had asked a newly married and recently baptized member to speak. He read his talk word for word from his paper. It was mostly about how he met his wife, as they met online and talked for 14 hours a day on the phone or online. They shared a passion for dolphins. They decided to get married before they met in person. After meeting, and getting married, he joined the church.
It was a bit odd, but a sincere and nice short message.
After he was done, and closed in the name of Christ and said amen, he looked at the clock and said out loud that he was supposed to talk for 10 minutes. So, since he didn’t fill that whole time, he said he would read his talk again. And he did. Word for word from the paper…repeated the whole talk.
Then he finished again. Looked at the clock, and said, he still had time and thought he had time to read it one more time.
That was when I passed him a note. He said into the microphone…”Well, I was just passed a note. Let’s see what it says.” he then read it out loud, which was basically that he could sit down when he was done with his talk and didn’t need to fill the whole 10 minutes. He awkwardly said, “OK, I guess I’ll sit down now”.
Certainly spiced things up. Hadn’t seen someone repeat a talk before.
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