life after StayLDS

I have been connected to StayLDS either as a lurker or a poster for about a year. It has help me so much and I appreciate all of your comments and the topic you guys have raised. I have noticed that many people are actively involved for a while and then drop off. After listening to many podcast, I have heard time and time again that the middle way is the hardest path to try to follow and that in the long run it is not very sustainable. Some times I feel that this is true and I feel like I can’t do this any more. I know that a few have made this work longer than others. Does anyone know what happens after StayLDS? I know that many have moved on and I truly miss their insight. It makes me sad to loose friends and I hope they land in a good place. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and would appreciate any input.

I think some of the desire to talk about it is mostly driven by the initial angst of finding out about these issues and trying to sort out what to do about it but once people either become inactive or get used to the idea that they are going to remain active in the Church in spite of this many of them lose interest in talking about it anymore because they basically feel like most of the issues they had have already been settled in their mind.

for me, reading and posting is very time consuming, so there is a tendency to prioritize. When I’m suffering through faith crisis, I need that sharing, so my activity is higher than other times. I, for one, never see me not needing the sharing and love I find here, but there are times when I simply don’t have a lot of time.

That said, if we make it our ministry, our stewardship, to help one another, we can and will find a lot of joy. I, too, miss those who have moved on for whatever reason. I consider some here my very closest friends, even if we haven’t met in person. (Sometimes meeting in person changes things, and not for the better, so I’m content with being here).

I guess that includes you, ray…

I’d imagine that they go in all directions. I just hope none of them end up “toxic” in their religion or lack of.

I would agree that being “stuck” in the middle is difficult to sustain, but many of us move back to activity being more comfortable with our own ideas and interpretations and less worried about how we may be different from other members. After some level of peace is obtained online sharing becomes less important.

i tend to agree, and getting to that point, and finding peace with my DW is a great place to be right now…but sometimes the narrowness of some of the dogma puts me back a bit, in which case it’s great to find friends here.

the road goes ever on and on.

Thanks for your ideas and thoughts. For me and my situation right now all this works wonderful for me. My DW is nervous right now with my new views and she does not want to talk about it or even have me bring it up to other people too much so having a place to go and vent or share some of the of the highs and lows of a faith crisis. I can see if I could discuss openly all this then the need of StayLDS would decrease.

Thanks for your ideas and thoughts. For me and my situation right now all this works wonderful for me. My DW is nervous right now with my new views and she does not want to talk about it or even have me bring it up to other people too much so having a place to go and vent or share some of the of the highs and lows of a faith crisis. I can see if I could discuss openly all this then the need of StayLDS would decrease.

Here is a blog post i wrote when i was in that situation….I walk the Way alone.

I am sad and frustrated that I can’t do that with the one that matters most to me.

I can do that more now than I could 26.5 years ago. Patience (long-suffering) really is a central part of unconditional love.

Martha,

Thank you for all your thoughtful post. The thing with my wife is I don’t mind and in fact I appreciate any point of view she has. I will pray with her, read scripture, I home teach, do my calling, will go to the temple if she want. I want her to believe and admire her faith and I don’t want her to feel alone, but maybe she does. It just feels too one sided right now but thank goodness I do have a place where I can go and feel safe and not have to put my burden at her feet if she is not willing to bare it at this time.