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Just curious what you think about this….there will likely be a time when I have to have the dreaded conversation with someone official about why I no longer serve with the same vigor I did years ago. I have thought long and hard about it, and feel that my primary obstacle is lack of commitment. Not really testimony, as I have had spiritual experiences that lead me to believe I should have joined the church years ago.
I guess I’m asking you to adopt the perspective of a hard-line church leader. Pretend you are a Bishop or a Stake President.
If a member who is non-TR holding and not fully active says they have a testimony but that they simply lack commitment…do they come out of the interview with a greater set of options available to them in the future (such as getting a TR, serving actively again, regaining the trust of the leadership) than the person who says they lack testimony or have faith issues?
My thought is yes — it’s better to focus on why you lack commitment and leave the testimony side out of it. Point to non-testimony reasons why you do not have a desire to serve or hold a TR.
Comments?
Quote:I guess I’m asking you to adopt the perspective of a hard-line church leader.
No. I’m not interested in modeling that stance.
Quote:Pretend you are a Bishop or a Stake President.
Okay.
Quote:If a member who is non-TR holding and not fully active says they have a testimony but that they simply lack commitment…do they come out of the interview with a greater set of options available to them in the future (such as getting a TR, serving actively again, regaining the trust of the leadership) than the person who says they lack testimony or have faith issues?
Yes, without a doubt.
If it was me in your shoes, I would quote Elder Wirthlin’s “Concern for the One” where he talks about those who are “tired” and those who are “different” – and just say that I was trying to accept that differences are okay and also recharge to recover from the fatigue.
I believe it’s human nature for commitment to ebb and flow. Nobody has consistently high energy. Those that do are faking it, and Mormons can be pretty good fakers. SilentDawning wrote:Just curious what you think about this….there will likely be a time when I have to have the dreaded conversation with someone official about why I no longer serve with the same vigor I did years ago…I have thought long and hard about it, and feel that
my primary obstacle is lack of commitment.Not really testimony, as I have had spiritual experiences that lead me to believe I should have joined the church years ago…If a member who is non-TR holding and not fully active says they have a testimony but that they simply lack commitment…do they come out of the interview with a greater set of options available to them in the future (such as getting a TR, serving actively again, regaining the trust of the leadership) than the person who says they lack testimony or have faith issues? I would definitely rather tell other Church members including my bishop that I don’t want to do callings or pay tithing right now than go into very many details about all the things the Church teaches that I just don’t believe anymore mostly because I think lack of commitment is typically less threatening to most TBMs than loss of belief in the Church. Also, if you admit to having some testimony concerns many members will look at that as something that should supposedly be fairly easy to fix simply by reading scriptures and praying more for confirmation that the Church is “true” so I’m not very interested in hearing more advice like this that is never going to help.
Makes sense…commitment is the dime on which such a conversation turns. I also think it baffles people in the church when it’s about commitment. The doubt-to-testimony link is much more precarious and easy to address. The testimony-commitment disconnect is much harder to address because it is illogical. I think many church leaders would have difficulty addressing it without simply resorting to the consequences — eternal punishment, or eternal blessings — none of which are provable in this life. I have both I believe, that because there is often ostracization and heavy judgmentalism associated with admitting faith issues, that if questioned, you focus on the commitment issues. You have heard all the testimony answers before. The commitment path at least is safer…and your leave with greater options.
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