- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I think the faith crisis’ of others had a big impact on generating my own faith crisis. When people left the church I always thought they were decived by Satan, lazy, or they had comitted some really big sin that they were covering up or they had just been offended over something small and silly. These beliefs about people leaving are pretty common and I just accepted those beliefs without examining them very much. We had some friends leave the church and I was confused and upset. As I was called into leadership positions I began to dig into the stories of other people who leave and found out that their issues were not only legitimate but I had completely misjudged them. I began to have strong empathy for their pain. (I’m an INFP so I tend to have strong feelings of empathy for the feelings of others). I began having a faith crisis of my own as I began to dig into the issues and examine them more. Has anyone else experienced this faith crisis domino effect where they had friends leave and then it started to affect them in a chain?
I believe that we are wired to paint the “other” in ways that protect ourselves and our group. With people close to us it is not always an option to discount them in this way. If we try to step into their shoes and see our position from their perspective our position may be forever changed as a result. I remember some apolagetic that was saying that all the exit stories include a decision to look at where the evidence leads and be willing to follow it. He was arguing that the decision to set aside the “spirit” and “the light of Christ” in favor of the evidence was the fatal flaw.
If we interpret all new information with the mindset that our position is correct – then any new information that supports our current position is also correct. Any information that is not in agreeance with our current position is therby false. It makes for a very easy sorting method but absolutely zero growth.
My brother coming out has incubated things for me over the years and my ability to now love him more openly and supportively Is one of the greatest results of my faith crisis for the good. He wasn’t the only cause of my faith crisis but it was a catalyst. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
I use to tell my kids if you leave the church it is only because there is a commandment you can not live. Now I just feel stupid for such a moronic simplistic view of the situation I never had any friends leave, more like just become apathetic. I am the one who dug into the history and just the generally hypocrisy and intellectual dwarfism of the church. I guess that makes me the ring leader in my group.
I was in your wife’s situation several years ago. It was soul wrenching to watch my husband become disillusioned with the faith that had brought us together. I felt that as long as I staid the course he would eventually see his mistake and would return to his once devout beliefs. I watched him try, so hard. Talking to the Bishop, the SP, on his knees in prayer, attending church when I could see that he was so unhappy there. None of it was helping. I thought that if anyone could help him, it would be me. I know him better than any HT or Bishop, so I started to search for answers to what I knew were his concerns. And that is where I came to find my own questions & concerns and started on a path to my own faith crisis. I have recently come to the hardest part of this awful feeling of having your foundations rocked. My testimony is shot, a mere mustard seed. My faith in God and Christ seems to have increased as I’ve tried my best to navigate on this path, but my faith in the church is mostly gone. I am fully aware now that there is no going back to the way that I used to be and am not sure how to find my place in the church. I have a new found passion for gaining as much knowledge as I can, about our church history, about the way things are currently run, about feminism ( I’m raising 3 girls in the church so I have some concerns about equality, modesty etc.) personal revelation and other religions theologies. I have a sense of freedom, no information is off limits out of fear that it will lead to an exit. I no longer feel that if the church doesn’t work for you, you will be damned to a lesser heaven. But I still want to find a way to make it work for me. I love my religion…except for when I’m sitting through the 3rd hour listening to the same narrow minded comments I’ve heard all my life…then I want to bang my head against the shiny white cinder block wall just to feel something in my brain. My Dad also left the church…right after he baptized me. As a kid, I can’t remember this having too damaging an effect on me except for when church lessons talked about people being assigned to different heavens…but I always over-road my fears that my Dad would be separated from me by believing wholeheartedly that he would be coming back to the church. He never did, and I can’t imagine that he ever will. He is very supportive, my Mom never did waver…I figured I would just do what she did and carry on, but I think the internet and my personality made my path different than hers. It would be heartbreaking to her & other family members if I went inactive, I take that into consideration when I think about my future. I believe you are doing a wonderful job navigating this trial in your marriage. You recognize that this is scary for your wife. ( I am reminded almost every Sunday that my religion doesn’t believe I have an eternal marriage, because my husband isn’t keeping his covenants…that was& is the hardest part for me) We are also led to believe that when people leave the church, they become worldly. She may be afraid you are going to change…start drinking,breaking the Sabbath, undermine how she is trying to raise the kids etc. Assuring her that you are still you and aren’t going off the rails should be a comfort. My husband feels responsible & guilty for my faith crisis, but I’m not upset with him at all. If anything, I better understand him and feel bad that he had to go through his crisis alone. I would usually cry and feel sick to my stomach when would have discussions about the church, I know how hard that had to be on him. At least I have his support through this. He genuinely hopes I can find a way to be happy and active in the church even though he hasn’t been able to. I wish you the best & hope you find the support you are looking for, this site has been a heaven send for me. pentium3 wrote:I am reminded almost every Sunday that my religion doesn’t believe I have an eternal marriage, because my husband isn’t keeping his covenants…that was& is the hardest part for me
See story in this month’s Ensign about the woman who wasn’t allowed by a flight attendant to visit her husband in first class. (p. 72)
Jeeze! I hope that isn’t the message my VT’s are planning on discussing this month. :thumbdown: It really just feels like fear mongering to me now. Thankfully, I was introduced to the beautiful doctrine of eternal progression on this site, and I also read a talk called my grace is sufficient that inspired a love and trust in my Savior that I didn’t have before. That’s why it’s so scary when you or someone you love begins a faith transition, fear. And there is little comfort to be found at church unfortunately. I’m so glad I have been able to separate Church & God in my mind now, they used to pretty much be synonymous. It hasn’t helped with feeling edified and uplifted at church, but every other day of the week I’m fine.pentium3, I have linked to these posts in another thread, but you might want to read the following from my personal blog: “Celestial Marriage Is Not Exclusive to Mormons”( http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2011/11/celestial-marriage-is-not-exclusive-to.html “Temple Sealing As a Shadow of Practical Sealing”( http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2013/02/temple-sealing-as-shadow-of-practical.html Thank you Ray, I loved both posts and have bookmarked your blog. I wish I could feel at church what I feel reading the comments and blogs of staylds-ers. Maybe someday 
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.