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Hi, friends, I’m not so great at handling the visits from missionaries which result in my committing to sharing the gospel or creating lists of friends. I love our young missionaries with all of that energy and enthusiasm, but I’m too confused right now to join the current wave. What do you do when missionaries ask to come and share a message with your family?
Thanks, Jen7
I have them over for dinner, and they share a message / ask for a commitment at that point. I tell them we are doing the best we can, that I don’t believe in any kind of “program approach” and that we will continue to pray for them and for opportunities for us. I’ve said “No” to missionaries in the past when they ask for things I’m not comfortable doing, but I always smile when I say it and repeat what I said above.
Quote:What do you do when missionaries ask to come and share a message with your family?
I am always nice to the missionaries when they come over. I usually talk to them in the front yard, tell them a bit about our family and ask them about where they are from. They usually ask if they can stop by another day and teach us but I politely decline saying we aren’t ready. I wish them well and the visit is over.
Being polite and nice is the only way to treat them.
I have never been very good at giving referrals. But I am fearless when it comes to talking to people. So I commit to approach someone in the next week. I look for those guys holding signs at street corners to get business into local establishments. I stop, give them a cold water or soda, tell them it must be hot, and then turn the conversation to church. Invite them to come, give an address, or a phone number. Whatever I can get. I also try to find out when he’s on the street corner next. Then I give the info to the missionaries so they can follow up.
Another thing you can do is invite them to a party you are having and let them meet people. If you are the social type (like my family can be) this is an opportunity for them to mingle. We had a Cake Boss cake decorating party and inviting mems and non-mems and the missionaries. They met my neighbors.
Old-Timer wrote:I have them over for dinner, and they share a message / ask for a commitment at that point. I tell them we are doing the best we can, that I don’t believe in any kind of “program approach” and that we will continue to pray for them and for opportunities for us.
I’ve said “No” to missionaries in the past when they ask for things I’m not comfortable doing, but I always smile when I say it and repeat what I said above.
This. I do what i can. But I focus of an example approach rather then a sales approach.Sales make me uncomfortable. Try to realize its not the missionary’s per say.
It’s what they were told to do and is part of the newer program they have the missionaries running to deactivate and convert by fellowship and before indexing people and talking about the gospel
To them. The last 20 pairs of missionary have all done this, I love them but there is pressure from them, and pressure hurts me emotionally. They continuously ask to put the less website link in my Facebook account. I won’t, it’s not the place for that, especially when I have friends from many religions and cultures and I wouldn’t want them sending messages across the Facebook screen if their faiths to me. Too many people spamming that already, even in my own family. It’s nauseating.
That being said, they are wonderful people and I keep in contact with many of them after tue mission, when they aren’t pressured with this approach from the new program policy.
Great thread. I have been wondering about this problem as well. Thankfully it’s been a while since the missionaries asked us to do any work. An important thing is also to have your spouse know what thoughts you have about missionary work – just to avoid conflict. I told my wife I could never do a regular “senior mission” – at least not promoting the gospel in the same way I did on my “normal” mission. Not with all the nuances I have in my belief now. I would LOVE to do a service mission later though. Building schools etc.
Well it’s hard. I love the missionaries and know where they are coming from and I love the gospel but I’m a much more “big tent” kind of guy now. I guess I would always love to invite people to Christ and God but not necessarily Mormonism. At least not until the church widens it’s tent and is a bit more nuanced. (Which I really believe will happen in the future if we hang in there and change the church – and our kids who in turn will be leaders).
Great thread!
During my 10 years of inactivity we have had fairly regular contact with the missionaries (my family is active). Usually it’s a dinner invite. I’m happy to feed them, and I have no problem with them leaving a “spiritual thought” which has always been a scripture, and leaving with a prayer (even though I don’t believe in prayer in the same way TBMs do). They sometimes ask for a referral and I very simply, politely and firmly reply that I don’t know anyone interested in the church. They almost never push farther, but one set of sisters recently did (the sisters are new to our ward). I just smiled, and a little more firmly said we had already told them we don’t know anyone and that they’d be the first to know if we ever do. That said, I’m one of those that doesn’t believe it’s necessarily our job to convert everyone. I did serve a full time mission and I am not in the “best two years” camp. I used to work for a company owned by Jews and primarily employing Jews. I became friends with many of them and we sometimes had some very frank and open discussions about religion. I really like their approach to missionary work – there is none. They’re happy to be Jewish, they believe what they believe (which actually varies considerably), and they really don’t care what everyone else believes. I think they truly embody the 11th Article of faith. They do know they are the covenant people, and that’s good enough for them. They were never reluctant to share their beliefs with me if asked, but they also never shared when not asked. I approach missionary work the same way, although currently I do preface anything I share with my inactive status in the church.
Jen7, Welcome to this community.
Number one rule, far outweighing everything else, is that these young people are making a major sacrifice to be in your town. We get so used to seeing them, that we too often forget. They are paying their own way or being assisted by family, friends or ward members back “home”. They work very hard. While other people their age are partying, playing video games, clubbing, and having unlimited sex in their dorm rooms, these young people are embracing a commitment to do good in the world far beyond themselves. They often work with the most destitute people, who are trying to find some good in life. Yet, these missionaries face rejection constantly. They get “the finger” on a daily basis (in the US). They get yelled at, threatened, told to go to hell, or at least told that they are going to hell. They miss their families, their dogs, their activities. They get hungry, thirsty and tired like at no other time in their lives. So, invite them in. Feed them. Show them kindness in excess. Maybe ask them to share something personal about their missions. Maybe ask them to teach you a lesson, because you’re interested in what they say to investigators. If they ask you to commit to finding someone to teach, just tell them, “I won’t be able to do that, but I hope I can still sign up to have you over for another dinner sometime.”
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