Yep. Should’ve got a sub.

May – do what is right for you. Happiness is the object and design of your existence. If moving on from GD ends up making you happier, then you know you have done the right thing.

I am happier now than I have ever been with my spiritual life. And it has meant putting boundaries on my service, claiming the agency that God gave us, and doing what is right for myself and my family. It has its own set of sacrifices, and one is that local leaders might not like it. No matter, in my experience (and others here), they tend to turn on you pretty quickly when you no longer follow the standard Mormon line on many issues.

I have sacrificed many times for the interests of the church, and guess what — the people involved are no longer around and probably, no longer remember what I did. But my family, who has borne the brunt of the sacrifice remember the son who wasn’t there for them (and the father that wasn’t there for them). They come first, as does your inner peace.

Thank you for sharing. I have thought of you many times today and wondered how your lesson when. You taught it like I would would have and it sounds like you got about the same results. I really feel for you and I think I would be done too. Great job and good luck with school.

I’m so disappointed about the Bishop’s reaction. That would have hurt me too. But you are doing what is right for you, and that is what is important. It is nice when others agree with us, but it really doesn’t matter in the end. Your lesson sounds great to me too, by the way. Good luck with school.

I caught the bishop after class and let him know that I won’t be teaching GD anymore. Even though I’ve told him several times that I’d probably step down once my classes start (which is tomorrow), he still seemed surprised and not at all pleased. He just looked at me and said, “So you’re just quitting?” I explained that I need to simplify things and lower my stress level right now and this is one area where i can do that. He knows I’ve been reading RSR and using it a bit in my class. He’s read it too and said that he hopes reading it hasn’t “hurt” me and if I need to talk about it he’d be happy to meet with me. I assured him that I’m okay and thanked him for the offer. He ended the conversation with “Well, we all have our agency.” I like my bishop. I really do. But this felt like a slap in the face. It felt like he thinks I’m just giving up or giving in or something. I didn’t even stay for RS. I just couldn’t do it today.

I know I’m doing what’s right for me and for my family. I have the support of my husband, so why am I letting the expectations and opinions of others make me feel guilty or like some sort of failure? Ugh. I’m feeling drained.

Sorry, about all this MayB. Sounds like a great lesson, and I bet (or I like to hope) that your bishop would like a do-over on that conversation. Good luck with classes and finding your place at church going forward.

It does sound like it was a good lesson. Before I became inactive, I was the GD teacher (and I liked it), but I came to the point where I was questioning what I could actually teach as “doctrine” (it is Gospel Doctrine class after all) and I felt I needed to be released. I told the Sunday School President that I wasn’t going to teach any more after the end of that year, and I told him this in mid-November. A couple weeks later he told me he had talked with the bishop, who told him they weren’t going to call someone else and that he’d “take care of it.” Along came the end of December and I announced to the class that I was no longer going to going to be their teacher and gave my materials back to the SS president. The bishop met with me that afternoon and seemed astonished that I would do such a thing, as if I was breaking some solemn covenant I had made and simply couldn’t do what I was doing. I did explain to him my questioning status and that I could not in good conscience continue teaching that class – or any other class at that point. Needless to say, a new teacher was called and that was my last Sunday as a teacher.

And, I too, am sometimes amazed at those that see everything as black and white, good vs. evil, Satan vs. God. I believe there certainly is good and evil and I do believe Satan does exist and does influence evil. I don’t believe he has the influence and power that many in the church believe he has – much of what I have experienced they say is the influence of Satan is nothing more than someone exercising his or her free agency in making informed choices. The world is black and white – and everything in between and most things cannot be put into a black box or a white box, including many gospel principles.

Pardon me, I’m a newbie. What is RSR?

The bishop sent me an email this morning thanking me for all my contributions to our ward. He really is a good guy. I guess maybe we both were having a tough day. He asked me again if I’d like to meet with him and talk about church history issues or the book RSR. He said that he and many other members of our ward have read that book as well as others and that some found it to be a trial while others found it faith promoting. I can tell he really just wants to help.

My advice — be careful. VERY careful. I hate to say it, but even though they appear nice and caring, the majority of priesthood leaders are loyal to the institution first, and the individual members second. If you start sharing doubts that conflict with the TR questions, or sharing unorthodox ideas, you may find yourself on the black list for a very long time. And if you ever change your mind and want traditional participation again (and that could happen), you may find they make you jump through hoops that will only alienate you further.

Better to simply meet with him, give general, non-offensive answers, then work on your own relationship with the church that makes you happy. Do your withdrawal from GD on the stress factor rather than the your incompatible unorthodox views. There is this liberating feeling I have had in the two or three brushes with priesthood leaders like you are about to have – it comes from knowing that you preserved your ability to move in any direction in the church — back to traditional participation, or further along the unorthodox path. It’s quite liberating. If you have already outed your RSR influences, consider minimizing them and focusing on pragramatic reasons you don’t want GD anymore.

My most recent meeting with a priesthood leader involved a stake president who essentially, we sent away from our home without anything to go on. He left without any levers to control our behavior in any direction either. He left a bit puzzled and unsure what to do with us. We were in control of the situation, our agency, and commitment level. Individual needs prevailed and that was what was important.

I personally believe that while some priesthood leaders have the interests of their members at heart, there is too much culture and reward for people who are “company men” or better described as “church-centric men”, This interferes with their sincere desires to help individuals. And the more you share about how you really feel, the more disadvantaged you will be — particularly if the feelings you share are unorthodox. Apostasy is in the eye of the priesthood leader. And they are very quick to judge.

The other thing is that a Bishop is kind of a counselor and judge at the same time. You may start relating to him as a counselor, but if you cross any lines, his role as judge takes over. It’s a terrible combination of roles the Bishop has because you can’t trust him to have your interests at heart when he has church interests to protect at the same time — and the power to withhold things you might want eventually.