Dad — will you come to the youth temple trip with me?

My daughter asked me this today.

I realized that after several flirtations with the topic of my non-TR holding status, I finally had to tell her.

Basically, I shared with her that tithing is stopping me from holding a TR. I explained my reasons. That I had testimony building experiences, and shared the many sacrifices I had made for the gospel/church over the last 30 years. Explained my disappointment with certain elements of my life experience in the church and how I felt after one that occurred a few years ago.

She welled up in tears when I explained one instance where I felt completely abandoned by the local leadership. She said she felt the same thing when she was bullied a couple years ago and not a single leader spoke to her about it. I told her that I don’t wear garments because it is irreverent to have them hanging down below my knees when it is perfectly reasonable to wear knee-length shorts in a hot climate. How the church prohibits altering them, and that even short pairs don’t fit me. When the church makes a fitting pair I will wear them.

I told her that I hope to have a TR again some day, but now, I need time to heal. That I do not need pressure, and that I don’t want to discourage her from paying her tithing. That I support her in it, and hope the time will come when I come through this period of difficulty. She should know that I support her in being an active member of the church and getting married in the temple and whatever she wants to do.

She said she agreed with the garment-wearing explanation, but not the tithing, but she still loves me. And then she asked me to look up how much she owes in tithing, as we keep track of it on a computer in our home. She types in her earnings and she sets aside the tithing in a virtual account.

Anyway, thought I would share this. I am out of the closet with my daughter. I must now accept the outcomes of this situation.