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I feel so lost in the dating scene. I don’t believe in the BofM as an actual ancient history written by prophets. All the folks I’ve been dating do…where can one go to meet people because half of me believes in the church (principals) but not the doctrine. I still live a principled life but I don’t know if (actually I know) I can’t be that woman who gets up and bares my testimony about what I don’t believe in. Where does one go to date like minded individuals?? HI Truth88, Welcome to the forum and I really do wish you the best in finding someone that loves and accepts you for who you are. I was an atheist/ex-Mormon when I was dating, so it really wasn’t a priority to me to find someone in the Church to date. I was more interested in someone that was fun, outgoing, liked to be with me, energetic, and driven in pursuit of their own life goals as well. And the Book of Mormons was never a factor in my dating decisions. I just wanted meet a good-hearted, moral whole person. I guess that would be my advice to you as well. Look at the whole person and outside of Mormonism itself. There are a lot of good people in the world.
Tobin makes a good point… Tobin wrote:fun, outgoing, liked to be with me, energetic, and driven in pursuit of their own life goals
I think that is a good way to approach dating. Then you just be patient and allow the right group of fun people to be around that eventually lead to open discussions on how they and you feel about religion.
My daughter just started at UVU. She had the grades to get into BYU but didn’t want that atmosphere. She was surprised her first week in Orem to find so many other really fun and really smart people that actually had so many doubts about the church based on their studies of church history (from the Internet). Many just didn’t want to go to church anymore, which I think those college years are about that sort of thing…finding out what you believe and what kind of person you want to be on your own.
I don’t know if you are in college or what stage in life you are in, but I think you can find people like that. But it can be scary to bring up the subject and wonder what people will think of you. Dating is hard.
I think we tend to talk about too many things too early in the dating process, for what that’s worth. I don’t know how old you are or what your general life situation is like (including where you live – and you don’t need to say exactly – high or low concentration of LDS members is fine), so I can’t offer much but general advice – but I would date initially just for the sake of dating and meeting people and trying to find someone with whom you connect or “click”.
As I’ve said in other threads, I’ve been married to my “split-apart” for almost 27 years and am gloriously happy in that relationship, and we still haven’t discussed all of my unorthodox beliefs.
Thank you so much for your replys. I reread the message I wrote and it sounded kind of corny. lol You all made some very good points. I need to get out and about more and build some new friendships. Thanks! When I started disclosing my issues to girls I was dating early on, my dating experience improved quite a bit. It was not always well received, but it saved me a lot of time and heartache.
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