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Hey everyone, I found this forum by way of NewOrderMormon.com and I have been lurking here for a few weeks.
I was born in the church, returned missionary, graduate from BYU, married in the temple to a wonderful wife with whom I have had four children. I recently graduated from medical school in Texas and we have just moved to the midwest for a residency in anesthesiology.
Regarding my faith journey, I was a TBM my whole life until this year. think that my shelf began to crack when I started reading more about church history and discovered that most of what we have been taught has been changed, misrepresented, and whitewashed. After that, I began to look critically at the BOM and its lack of external evidence, various doctrines including polygamy, blacks and the priesthood, Adam-God, etc. What shook my faith was not the doctrines themselves, but the notion that these doctrines were presented as revelation and described as “essential for salvation”, and are now completely rejected by the brethren.
This flew in the face of everything I had been led to believe about Prophets. If a prophet could be wrong about such a critical and central issue, then why couldn’t he be wrong about the word of wisdom or eternal families or anything else.
Since this has happened, I have “come out” to my wife, who has been incredibly supportive. While she still “wants to believe” and thus doesn’t want to think over any of these issues, she has not shown me any rejection or hostility.
Also, since we moved into a new ward, I came out to my bishop who was, also, very supportive, assuring me that this was a safe place. I still attend church with my family, and have a calling, though I no longer believe in the truth claims of the church.
Despite my absence of belief, I still belive that the LDS church is a good organization with many strengths. I thought about seeking out another church, but the idea didn’t appeal to me.
Now I am looking for a community where I can discuss some of these issues in a non judgemental environment.
Welcome Doc! I’m glad you found us and introduced yourself. It sounds like you have much in common with many of us. Count it a huge blessing that your wife and bishop have been supportive, that can make all the difference even if you can’t have regular in-depth discussions of the issues with them. TheDoctor13 wrote:What shook my faith was not the doctrines themselves, but the notion that these doctrines were presented as revelation and described as “essential for salvation”, and are now completely rejected by the brethren.
This flew in the face of everything I had been led to believe about Prophets. If a prophet could be wrong about such a critical and central issue, then why couldn’t he be wrong about the word of wisdom or eternal families or anything else.
Yes, realizing the potential extent of “humanness” in the mix does tend to change the flavor, but it doesn’t have to immediately make the entire plate completely inedible. The responsibility for our beliefs moves to our hands, right where it should be if we are going to grow into adults of God.
I’m looking forward to hearing more from you.
Yes, welcome to the forum Doc. I left Mormonism completely and came back to it, so I sympathize with where you are at. My view is it is a man-made organization and the members are well-meaning (though often mistaken). I attend the LDS Church merely to provide service and help other people. I believe if you want to really know God, you have to approach and speak with him yourself and you can’t gain that knowledge any other way. The LDS Church may be a stepping stone on the path towards that goal, but that is all it is.
Welcome. I appreciated your articulate introduction. My advice is to focus on discussions that help you contribute positively, help your family flourish in the church, without necessarily getting mired in its problems. I went down both paths simultaneously, and its made it easier in some respects (I know how to handle being a somewhat reluctant Mormon) but harder (I see far more warts than I used to). Good luck!
Welcome Doc. I am a relative newcomer myself, also having stumbled upon this site via another. Unlike you I have been inactive in the church since my crisis of faith, but like you I have been supportive of my family. I also looked into other churches, but also didn’t find anything else appealing. This is the safe place you seek, I look forward to hearing more from you. Welcome. It sounds like you will fit in here very well. Given that you are at peace with a “lesser vision” of the Church, I second the suggestion not to get bogged down in stuff. It’s good and fine to discuss things, but we try to do so without all the anger that permeates lots of sites. There is constructive discussion and cancerous discussion, and, while it’s fine to vent, especially initially to get things out, venting is cancerous if it becomes one’s default setting. We focus more here on coping mechanisms and the building of personal faith paradigms, even if one’s paradigm ends up being unique and not like that of anyone else here.
I look forward to your participation in this learning community.
Welcome to the site Doc13 – I look forward to your insights! Hi and welcome to the site, good to have you join the conversation. TheDoctor13 wrote:Now I am looking for a community where I can discuss some of these issues in a non judgemental environment.
Hi, Doc13 – Glad you’re here! I was very relieved to find this site.
What’s up Doc. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Welcome and it sounds like you will fit right in here. It’s nice that your wife and new Bishop are supporting you. That in itself is a great blessing. I look forward to hearing more from you. I have struggled with a very similar situation as well. It’s amazing how many of us there are. Here is the conclusion I’ve come to. Might not be right for everyone, but it is right for me I think. I look at whether or not the church is the one true church as a “who cares” kind of issue. Sort of sounds flippant but I don’t mean it to be. I mean, a mathematician might come up to me and start quoting formulas, etc., – and he is probably right – but I’m probably not going to pay attention as there are other things I feel to be more important. For me, whether a person is kind and gentle towards other people matters more than whether they have a temple recommend, drink coffee, report 100% on your home teaching, and so on. Any religion – even ours – gains power over another person by placing themselves between you and God and saying that you can’t fully come to Christ unless you go through them. And that I believe to be patently false. I’m not saying that the church is attempting to gain power over people by manipulating on purpose – but that’s sort of what happens, whether it’s intended or not. There have been lots of causes that have used fear to get people to do things, and justify it by believing their “thing” is so important that it justifies it. My recommendation is to not take the church quite so seriously. There are great things about it – and things that aren’t so great. Take what’s good and helps you (make sure you are honest in this), and leave what isn’t So yes, I’m telling you to fly in the face of multiple conference talks and treat the church like a buffet 
If we are wrong, do you really believe that the most compassionate Being in the universe will punish a person for taking a few more years to figure the truth out? Most people in the church don’t allow themselves to look objectively at issues – and in so doing, they place themselves in a big glass bubble that is eventually shattered by a human bishop having a bad day, or happening to read something about Brigham Young, or a million other things. You never really know if you believe something until you’ve doubted it! To suppress honest things you think out of fear is just living a lie to maintain the status quo.
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