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Okay, hear me out. I’m still fleshing out my ideas here and maybe one of you will help me to articulate my thoughts… You should know that I homeschool my children. In the past I would plaster my fb wall with photos of our fantastic homeschool field trips, science experiments, test scores, anything to prove that we were doing a great job…we were doing it right…we were loving it. I wanted to especially show my anti-HSing “friends” that HSers really aren’t that weird and yes, HS kids really are being educated.
Recently I took a much-needed break from fb only to realize just how often my thoughts during the day were along the lines of “I can’t WAIT to post this photo!” or “What a great post THIS will make”. I had to reteach myself how to see my daily life…how to see my family. What I realized was that I was putting on a show for my fb world to see. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE HSing … most days.
The show I was putting on was only showing the great side of HSing. I was making sure that there were no stray toys in my photo ops. I was staging impromptu photos and I was pulling it off nicely.
When I came back to fb I had to make a mental adjustment. I have not once posted a photo or a comment on my wall about HSing. In fact, I have posted very little on my fb wall at all…and I like knowing that so much of what we do here at home is intimate and private.
There are still times that I want to share an exciting moment with “the world”, but I don’t. I know that Heavenly Father sees my actions and knows my heart (hopefully He is only looking on my good days
Now, translate that into our church appearance.
We see that same behavior in the sister who gets up each fast Sunday to tell us about her temple trips or her scripture meditation or her calling…she doesn’t let us “see” her stray toys in her life.
We see that same behavior in the HP group leader who barks orders at others in WC…we see his “staged impromptu” performance.
We see that same behavior in the VTer who runs her mouth too much.
What we really need to do is stop talking about ourselves and focus on others. Stop making sure the world sees our actions and do things quietly. Old-Timer wrote a post about his father doing things so quietly that practically NO one knew what a saint he had become. If his dad had been public about his actions, would he have become that “salt-of-the-earth” kind of guy? Was it his humility that shaped him?
How was his dad able to keep all of that “in”??
Why IS it so hard for us to do a good deed and not want SOME one to know about it?
Could that be one of the keys to finding inner peace…figuring out how to go about doing good without mentioning it to anyone? I know there is a scripture somewhere that talks about that…could many of our gospel answers be that simple?
So….is there a way to sum up all of that above?
:eh: QuestionAbound wrote:I know that Heavenly Father sees my actions and knows my heart (hopefully He is only looking on my good days
:eh: I don’t know how much more articulate I can be…you did a pretty good job the way I see it. Apply that to the gospel and your beliefs.
I believe church participation has very much an element of it that is to display our faithfulness and our example, even for the most humble. With all things, there are extremes. One extreme is to be so prideful everything that is being done is to be for the display and affirmation from others…for those, they have their reward.
The other extreme is to do everything privately so others don’t know. There can be a downside of being the hermit who only cares about god and not others…for those, they can miss the social connections we create in church activity.
There is a place for sharing with others, and drawing strength from being apart of the flock. It can be supportive and can inspire others and can be fun. But, like fb, if it becomes an addiction or distracts from the heart of what really matters, then it becomes an idol. And so there is a balancing act on keeping the heart pure, and connecting with others in a humble way.
I have asked myself recently if I need the church. I don’t think I do. I can be a good person without it. However, my current feeling is it is a better experience when being part of the ward to be helping others and having their strong spirits help my family. Not in a competitive way, but in a good way.
But if I had to “homeschool” my kids for church…I think I could do it. I just don’t see it is needed when we have a great ward with great people to give the kids the experience they need…and give me the support I need from time to time.
QuestionAbound wrote:I know that Heavenly Father sees my actions and knows my heart (hopefully He is only looking on my good days ). I know that my children see my actions, and that needs to be enough for me. If I am truly working with my children in a kind way and seeing them as the Savior sees them/me, then I am on the right path.
I love the scripture in Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
I read this scripture to say that God deliberately looks at the good in us and de-emphasizes our failings. He does this because it make Him happy – “for my own sake.”
In the church we have a sort of double mind about this issue. I remember teaching a lesson to the YM about a group of young people that had been saving money for an outing. They decided to donate the money to the needy instead. They wanted to have some sort of recognition of their sacrifice in the church but were repeatedly told no – that they should do the good without hope of recognition.
But we do recognize. we recognize scout acheivement and young woman progress. We have them come up to the front of the congregation. We post newspaper clippings of our young people’s acheivements in the foyer. We as a church have a PR department that is very involved in promoting the church and advertizing the good that the church does.
As for my behavior, I personally am constantly aware of the persona that I am expressing and how it is being received by others. It happens fairly naturally. I’m not sure if that is a problem….I imagine that I would always want to monitor how I interact with others in a way that maximizes the goodwill I might receive. Yes, God is the ultimate judge – but I have to live with people and I can’t pretend that their opinions don’t matter.
Great discussion point QA. I look forward to hearing others perspectives.
I think it’s good advice to really examine oneself when one feels like sharing an achievement with others. If they don’t know you, they might perceive it as bragging. And sometimes, it is…other times, it’s simply sharing of happiness and joy at what has transpired. I personally believe that should be shared with family and only the world when you “need” to. Roy wrote:I love the scripture in Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
I read this scripture to say that God deliberately looks at the good in us and de-emphasizes our failings. He does this because it make Him happy – “for my own sake.”
I like it!!
🙂 Quote:
But we do recognize. we recognize scout acheivement and young woman progress. We have them come up to the front of the congregation. We post newspaper clippings of our young people’s acheivements in the foyer. We as a church have a PR department that is very involved in promoting the church and advertizing the good that the church does.
Ooooh. GOOD point! Gooood point. Never thought of that. Interesting dichotomy. I’ll have to think on that one.Quote:
… I have to live with people and I can’t pretend that their opinions don’t matter.
Very valid point. You are right. I imagine that even those who say, “I don’t care what others think.” Really DO care.
Heber13 wrote:I believe church participation has very much an element of it that is to display our faithfulness and our example, even for the most humble.
With all things, there are extremes. One extreme is to be so prideful everything that is being done is to be for the display and affirmation from others…for those, they have their reward.
The other extreme is to do everything privately so others don’t know. There can be a downside of being the hermit who only cares about god and not others…for those, they can miss the social connections we create in church activity.
So…the first extreme makes me think of the Rameumptom.
The second…I just wonder if it’s possible to go to church … be nice and kind to people … participate in discussion but then go about doing the Lord’s errand without ever sharing our good deeds.
As for “homeschool” church…I once heard (doesn’t everyone just love the “I once heard” rumors?) that the time will come when we will HAVE to have home church. That actually excites me a little (obviously if I’m homeschooling my kids, I must like it), but I’ve not seen it in writing. Do you know of what I am speaking?
Thanks for your insight!!
QuestionAbound wrote:Why IS it so hard for us to do a good deed and not want SOME one to know about it?
Good question! I’m glad you asked it, and l look forward to more wise replies. I don’t know the answer. Thanks for sharing your homeschooling/Facebook experience.
I like your comments about Ray’s father. He seems like such an exceptional person. One of the greatest people I have ever known was also the most unassuming. She quietly looked out for those around her that were having a hard time, or needed a friend, mostly those who were overlooked at church, and then quietly looked for ways to support them. I only knew about her ativities because I was her neighbor, and buddy, and would occasional catch her in a generous act. When she passed it became much clearer to me the impact she had on so many lives. Everyone loved her generous heart and her noncritical attitude and her listening ability, but i realized all the more how her one true goal was to be the best person she could be, to follow Christ, and she did it in such a marvelous way without any desire for recognition or attention, because her motives were pure and selfless. Recognition held no interest for her. Never an angry word, never a spiteful comment, but a quick wit, and a cheerful demeanor, and one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Such a great example.
My mom shares a wonderful story about one of those quiet serving souls. One day she had made a meal or treat for a family, while she was trying to anonymously deliver it, she ran over her foot. She had forgotten to put the break on her car and was setting up the item on the hood of her car, to carry it to the door. Well the car rolled, caught her foot and broke her toes. Because of the pain, and trying to catch her car with her limping foot, she got caught in her goodwill mission. Once she was better, she was back at it.
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