Great FMH article on Rescuing the Lost

This was a really good blog post. I didn’t know what to expect when I read it, because I have my own feelings about “rescuing” inactive members. Namely, I wonder (and have said out loud during ward councils) if they really want to be rescued….or if they can really be compared to sheep that have wandered away unwillingly vs. by choice.)

So of all the great recommendations, I like “1. Be authentic.” If you really care about the person and want to be their friend, perhaps help them rediscover their testimony, approach it from that standpoint–rather than accept an assignment as a task to be checked off.

I admit, I also like the element of “2. Keep confidences.” I don’t think the inactive member expects their remarks, attitude, etc. to be shared in ward council or even with the bishop. If a person reaching out feels like it’s important to share, tell the inactive member and ask if it’s OK.

Thanks for sharing, it was a great set of ideas and recommendations.

There is a feeling of panic in the ward and stake as several people have left the church in my area recently. I think a lot of people want to help, but aren’t sure what to do about it. I want to point out a couple of things. First, we are told to go rescue the lost sheep. But guess what? We are all lost sheep. There is only ONE shepherd, and that is Christ. We are commanded to love each other, but ultimately it is the responsibility and stewardship of Christ to save us. Second, know that it is NOT within your ability to save anyone. You can’t even save yourself. No matter how many good deeds you do, or how many times you attend the temple, you will fall short of perfect. We all do. All of us. We are all in need of the Atonement and God’s mercy and grace to save us. Even if someone only needs “a little” of the Atonement, it still covers us all equally.

I love this because it is a fundamental paradigm change. Without this, all the other points could just be additional boxes to check on your followshiping visits. This dispels the notion that they are broken and we are there to fix them.

11. Accept them for who they are. Their experiences have brought them to this point. They are unique individuals, and have to choose how to live their own lives. Accept that despite your best efforts, they may still leave the church. It is their personal decision, and their agency to do so. Remember that this is their journey, not yours.

I often tell my wife that if we are going to help some investigator or less active member then it must be help that we are willing to give without conditions. I do this not out of some sense of magnanomy on my part. I hate the bitter feeling of being used after we give more help than we normally would with the justification that this will help them love the church/gospel – and then that doesn’t happen. I guess it is mostly an excercise in checking my expectations.

Compare that to my bishop’s response when I told him of my doubts and questions: I mentioned that the thought of taking a “vacation” from church for a while was making me feel happy for the first time in a very long time; he responded, “Good! I want you to be happy! I trust you; you’ll be fine.”

This last one was pulled from the comment section. It reminded me of when I asked my mom if she ever worried about me going of the deep end in the depths of my faith crisis. She told me, “No, you have a good head on your shoulders. I always had confidence that you would figure things out for yourself.”

Thank you Mom!

Without Charity…I’m not sure if there is any rescuing.

Rescuing can be done without charity (since even evolutionary instincts alone can prompt rescue attempts), but uncharitable rescue efforts sometimes are more similar to kidnapping than to saving. The problem is that those doing the uncharitable rescuing don’t see the unrighteous dominion lines when they cross them. Just saying.