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My son is getting baptized in the next two weeks. I have heard from other women in the ward that the bishop asks (expects?) the mothers to bear their testimonies after the child is confirmed. The problem is that I don’t have a testimony. I currently consider myself agnostic, and don’t know what to think about the LDS church specifically either. I still attend church and do my calling and visiting teaching, but this is mostly just because my family continues to go and I live in an area with a lot of Mormons, so I don’t want to alienate myself from my friends and neighbors. I know I could just tell him no, but the other problem is that in the next few years I plan to go back to school and the school that has the program I want for the best price is a church school. This means I would need an ecclesiastical endorsement from this bishop, and so I don’t want to flag myself in this situation either. Maybe I could say no and try to pass it off as shyness? I don’t know if he would accept that easily though or not. I also don’t know for sure if he asks in private ahead of time, or if he will ask me to come up in front of everyone there in the moment. I hate to bring it up to him ahead of time too, because what if he would have forgotten this time? Please give me any suggestions of how to handle this delicate situation.
I would speak if asked, in your situation, but I would talk exclusively to your son about how important it is to study everything out in his mind and in his heart and do the best he can to become good and do what his heart tells him to do. I would tell him you love him, are proud of him and hope he is a good example of a follower of Jesus – that you will do your best to help him be the best person he possibly can be. In other words, I would turn it into a message to your son and ignore the request to make it a classic testimony. I don’t think this is the time or situation to let it stress you out, and it certainly isn’t the time or situation to create a conflict of any kind.
Do you have beliefs in anything that can be uplifting in the ceremony? Loving others?
Raising kids with values?
Service experiences from visiting teaching like you do where you connect to others?
Family relationships you hope last through eternity?
There must be something you honestly believe that your son would love to hear. Right? It doesn’t have to be about the church, just about goodness.
I was also thinking along those lines, and I see symbolism in baptism that doesn’t have to tie directly with a “traditional” testimony of Mormonism. I think any mother would be proud of a child’s efforts to do what they feel is right. A “new beginning” has many opportunities, the ideals of seeking understanding and enacting truth, love, goodness, etc. are the gems of “pure religion” and are good for all mankind — even atheists! 
journeygirl wrote:The problem is that I don’t have a testimony.
Hi, journeygirl – Do you have any feelings about your own baptism? (Memories, ways in which it was important to you, etc.) That’s not a classic testimony in the way the bishop might order up, but it is your own testament.
Another thing I would say in your shoes is that I don’t really know why Jesus needed to be baptized, but it was important to him. Sort of a “Let’s all strive to find out why” idea.
No one will be upset if it’s short! I hope you have a wonderful day with your son.
You could make it a thank-you-mony, instead of a testimony. Thank the Bishop, the people who put on the baptism, your son for being willing. Comment on things that are strong but not testimony-related, such as the youth programs, clean values, your confidence your son will live up to covenants. Quote scriptures that have meaning for their intrinsic meaning, without bearing testimony of the truthfulness of the book itself. Comment on the love of the people who came to support your son, comment on the positive aspects of LDS experience without digressing into statements of your belief in doctrine. Talk about integrity and the importance of making and keeping promises in general…. Those are just a few ideas.
I think Ray made most of the points I wanted to. Speak from your heart to your son and don’t worry too much about the rest. Your bishop has so much on his plate that he probably wouldn’t notice if your testimony wasn’t the typical testimony. Ann wrote:No one will be upset if it’s short!
Can I get an “Amen”?! I totally agree that sometimes less is more!Thanks everyone! Great ideas. I guess I was stressing out so much about it that I was thinking it had to be an actual testimony in the “I know. . .” sense. I love the idea of speaking to my son about making good choices and becoming a better person each day. Although I don’t know what I believe about God, I do absolutely believe in many moral values like loving others, forgiving, being slow to anger etc. I could remind him of those things, and also talk about being proud of him trying his best. And I’ll keep it short!
I totally agree with this advice. This is a day for your son. Just focus your remarks on him. Can empathise with your uncertainty. When my son was baptised last year I went through all sorts of uncertainty and angst. In the end I spent time with him focusing on the covenants made at baptism. Bear one another’s burdens, give comfort to those who stand in need of comfort. I also recognise it’s an opportunity to try to emulate Jesus. As a behaviour model from ancient scripture/literature he’s a good model. Whatever you believe he is, it might be still worth saying that when we follow the example of Jesus it leads to positive behaviours (or something).
The time may come when I have to ordain my son to the Aaronic Priesthood. At that point, I will probably speak about the priesthood from the perspective of community. Use the words “our community” “the community” and focus on the service aspect in the blessing. It doesn’t have to be about the church all the time…. I plan on asking DW to do a brief 5 min. or less spotlight on DD for her baptism. DW hates public speaking but feels that this is something that she would feel comfortable doing. I got the idea from the mass stake baptisms in Cache Valley Utah where each mother gives a spotlight on their child for the multitude. Thanks for more good suggestions and ideas. I think I will write down what I’d like to say, and sort of memorize the general thoughts so that I don’t feel as awkward as it would be to try to say these things on the spot. Classic Testimonies have been the norm and the majority for too long. People need to see knowing is often not knowing and that hoping and believing is of great value as well!
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