Returning after a period of inactivity

I don’t know if it’s a fear of what might happen, Ray, but then on the other hand I’m not really sure what it is. More of just a general uneasiness or apprehension, I suppose.

I think the general unease for most people in your situation tends to be concern that they will be put in a position that will threaten their return – or that will make tehm feel pressure to be more active and orthodox than they are ready and willing to be. At the root, that’s a self-confidence issue – although I don’t mean that negatively in any way.

In this case, I think it’s natural. It is what it is, and it will be there no matter when you start attending again. Thus, go when you are ready, but don’t put it off because of unease that won’t go away until after you start going again – if then.

If there is someone who has been fellowshiping you then I would go with them and set with them and see how that goes. I would even mention that you just want to check it out without any pressure.

But I would prepare a story ahead of time to know how to respond to people when they ask, “Great to see you, so what have you been doing this whole time? What brought you back?”

Do you know many people in the ward, or are there so many new people since that you’ll be getting to know a bunch of new faces?

Good point Heber13. Answering both questions at once, there are some “new” people but the “core” of the ward has remained the same and know who I am and at least some of what led to my activity status (although most are misinformed – “it’s not that simple” as Pres. Uchtdorf said). It actually annoys me when I run into one of these people in the store and they say how much they have missed me – really? You’ve missed me so much that in the last 10 years you haven’t called, emailed or come to visit once. Wow, I’m touched. Good point, though, I will come up with a pat response to answer such a question.

I think the general unease for most people in your situation tends to be concern that they will be put in a position that will threaten their return – or that will make tehm feel pressure to be more active and orthodox than they are ready and willing to be. At the root, that’s a self-confidence issue – although I don’t mean that negatively in any way.

In this case, I think it’s natural. It is what it is, and it will be there no matter when you start attending again. Thus, go when you are ready, but don’t put it off because of unease that won’t go away until after you start going again – if then.

Thanks Ray, I do agree. I do plan to talk to the bishop before I show up and express those concerns. I plan to only attend SM, don’t want a calling or HT route, etc. I don’t plan to express the depth and breadth of my unorthodoxy, however. I understand your point about self-confidence and agree. I actually lost a great deal of self-confidence in my crisis of faith and related events. And good point about the unease that may never go away – I recognize that it might not.

Come early enough to sacrament meeting to get a seat by the door and leave right after the closing prayer. Come once ever 2-3 weeks for awhile and work your way up to every Sunday. If there’s an over flow in your chapel sit there and pick a spot behind someone with big shoulders so you won’t be too visible from the stand. Don’t sit in the same seat on the Sundays you go. I thought about your changing hair color and wear different suits, etc. but that is carrying things a bit far. And then wait and see if your home teachers start coming again or if you get a visit from a member of the bishopric and the high priest group or EQP on ministering night. If the missionaries home in on you, tell them you’re a disillusioned JW that’s searching for truth. I guess that will get you started.

My family does attend, GBS, and I do go to some social events, so I’m not unknown especially to those who have been here a long time. I probably could convince my family to sit near the back (they’ve sat in the same place in the middle for 20 years, though), and coming every 2-3 weeks is a good idea, hadn’t occurred to me. The missionaries also know who I am, they come for dinner. Probably no effect on the HT, he’s been here about the same time as us, we’re actually friends, he seldom comes and probably won’t come more. I’ll probably have to come up with something to repel “The Rescuers” as well – I did it without knowing that’s what it was until recently.

If there is someone who has been fellowshiping you then I would go with them and set with them and see how that goes. I would even mention that you just want to check it out without any pressure.

No fellowshipper, and in fact that sort of bugs me that there hasn’t been anyone except the occasional “Rescuer” and the HT who manages to come a couple times a year (once so far this year). On the other hand, I don’t want to be anyone’s “project” so I’m fine with not having an assigned friend. This whole idea does feed into my belief of how uninspired my bishop and HPGL are, and how prayers are not answered, though. I really would like to have a home teacher/fellowshipper at this point.

Last but not least, thanks mackay11. I never paid much attention to Pres. Uchtdorf before last GC when I quite accidentally heard his talk. Frankly, I thought he was in the position he was in because of a relationship with Pres. Monson and that if Pres. Monson had held responsibilities as an apostle in South America instead of Europe, there’d be a Latino in that spot (and there should be a Latino apostle as well as a true European and in the not too distant future there should be an Asian and an African). Ah, but I digress. After listening rereading Pres. Uchtdorf’s Oct. address, I started reading others, and recently read that April address.

There are a lot of people from my current ward who were reactivated after years of being away. I remember one of them (now RS president) who reintroduced herself and said she knew there were a few there who had probably seen her at local wine tastings. She just laughed about it and said she was giving it a shot. Nobody pressured them, and people were just friendly. It turned out well.

I just want to add my 2 cents. I am glad to hear your working towards heading back and appreciate the strength that takes. I wish you the best and hope to hear about it when you do.

Bill Reel

I like it too, Kumahito 😆 I actually joke around with other people that I didn’t get struck by lightning when I stopped going to church, I suppose the same might be true when I go back!