Suspicious

Are you wrong? Maybe, maybe not. Pres. Uchtdorf did tell us there is room for us in the church,and that we each have talents and things to share is one of the reasons. A between the lines of that talk is indeed that as we become more active there would be less doubts. I don’t think these guys were wrong in their approach – it is actually hard to make the case that we need the church, but the church does need us (or at least all of the volunteer labor we provide).

My advice: Do what you’re comfortable with, not what you feel pressured to do. You’ll be happier that way.

I get suspicious sometimes too. Sometimes people do have alterior motives. I try not to let that bother me. I try to absorb their fellowship, friendship, help, and free food offerings and am deliberately tone deaf about any hints that I should change (this isn’t much of a stretch for me as I’m not big into hints in the first place).

I have experienced anxiety too. Before it happened to me, I was very much of the opinion that we control our own destiny and that depressed people just needed to be more positive. Funny how the whole world shifts with a change in perspective. I am glad that you have some people around you that can understand to a degree.

They sound pretty genuine. We need each other. Church or no church, no man is an island.

I don’t think they have impure motives. People who ask others to help and serve others are the salt of the earth.

I do believe some members just want to report in a meeting that they “got someone to commit”, and you have to be suspicious of that. Some want to see the church be successful and see the members as tools to make that happen.

My stake president fell into these categories when he visted recently. I didn’t feel an ounce of caring about us personally…His motives were to a) be able to tell a soon to be visiting apostle he ministered to less actives b) ferrett out any policy violations regarding attending wards outside the stake c) let us know he was watching whether we sold our house to determine if our work had moved us to a new city, as we had indicated d) try to get us to have temple recommends and e) make sure my daughter gets to seminary. Although he seemed to ahve some concern for my daughter in attending seminary (or was he just getting his numbers up?), I felt zero spirit of love for us as adults.

Anyway, do what you are comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to claim your free agency and tell them what level of involvement you want right now. And keep working on your doubts until you feel at peace. Then it will become clear how you want to serve.

While I know there are definitely things I can do that would help others, I can’t help but have this sneaking suspicion that they feel that if I become more active at church then all my doubts and questions will disappear and I’ll “submit” myself to the will of the church. In my personal opinion, I feel that many members equate the will of the church with the will of God. While I think they intertwine more often than not, I don’t think they’re 100% the same.

Hi, chills31 – I’m glad you’re here. You have to set your boundaries and make your own judgments, but I’ll just add that helping others is “it” for me at church right now. While I was just typing a disheartened comment (about the polygamy article on lds.org), someone called asking me for some help tomorrow. I can do that.

What about the mass majority of humanity who isn’t Mormon? So I’ve decided to sign up to volunteer at a food kitchen. It’s not much, but it’s a start. The way I see it, we’re all human beings and we’re all in the same boat and on the same team.

My thoughts exactly. I serve in the community (as everyone is WELL aware now), and I’m there because I want to be there. I rarely do anything out of cultural expectations or duress — i do it because I want to.

And I think that much of what passes for service to mankind is simply service to the church. Chapel cleaning, some forms of missionary work, a certain portion of tithing payments, setting up chairs etcetera.