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Today the missionaries stopped by saying the bishop had asked them to come teach the first few discussions to the family. I was taken off guard and went ahead and made an appointment for them to come over. My wife mentioned that she heard they do this in our stake for all kids who are about to get baptized. But I worry that the bishop talked to them about me and that they’re going to be trying to work on me instead of my kid. My first thought on how to survive this is to simply deflect any questions they ask directly to me and ask them to instead focus on my child. Or maybe I’ll just ask my wife to answer instead (we’ve done that in the past in a few cases). Any other advice or survival tips here?
Yes. My advice, regardless of what happens, be nice.
Sometimes it sucks being a missionary…they’re just kids.
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Yup, be nice – and don’t assume ulterior motives until they give you reason to do so. I know lots of areas where leaders want children to be taught the missionary lessons before being baptized. Accept it for what it probably is. Frankly, I think it’s a good idea. We all say we want members to understand the basics better, right?
:thumbup: cwald wrote:Yes.
My advice, regardless of what happens, be nice.
Sometimes it sucks being a missionary…they’re just kids.
This.
I was asked what my goals were as mission leader by a stake leader a few weeks ago. I smiled and said: “It’s Christmas. My goal is as many dinner appointments as possible.”
I guess I’ve had different experiences. While I don’t think your bishop sent the missionaries to your home to work on you specifically I do think that they see the potential of your child’s baptism as a vehicle to reactivate you (or whatever your situation happens to be). Do realize that they have the best of intentions though.
The missionaries will almost certainly involve you in their discussions, that’s what they do – try to involve
everyonethat is sitting in on the discussion by asking them direct questions. I’d be prepared to answer questions that are aimed at getting you to remember the positive things about church. E.g. Daeruin, what blessings has the restored church brought into your life? That alone wouldn’t be an indicator that they are aware of your situation and are trying to “work” you, that’s just the sort of thing they typically ask of any member in one of their discussions. Be prepared. In my recent experiences with the missionaries, I have learned to be nice, be honest and be vague. I have found that if they know I don’t have a testimony it sets some real expectations and boundaries. I am vague when it comes to my actual issues as I know they are programmed to resolve concerns and I just don’t really want to go down that road with them. Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk
Believe me, I have nothing but sympathy for these kids. I served a mission in a tough area and I know what they’re going through. I also think that a lot of missionaries are out there because of social pressure that they convince themselves is actually the spirit pushing them (that might say more about me than about reality 
I just want to be prepared, because I don’t think well on my feet and I don’t want this to make my situation any worse. Like ihhi, I just don’t want to go down the road of attempting to resolve concerns, and I don’t want to become a project. I also don’t want to end up saying anything that will hurt my chances of being able to baptize my son. This should be about him, not me.
I don’t like this whole policy of teaching kids abot to be baptized and probably would have refused the visit. However, you’re already past that, so I agree with what others have said – be nice, but remain vague and noncommittal. Depending on my mood, I might excuse myself from the meeting. Daeruin, My advice is to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. I don’t mean that in any sort of flippant way. Seriously, until you figure out who you are and how you feel, and learn to be OK with it then the specter of fearing what others think and the assumption of evil intent in their actions will hound you without remorse.
While you are figuring yourself out, treat the missionaries the way you hope your soon-to-be-baptized son will be treated if he goes on a mission; with friendliness, appreciation, honesty, and respect… and without hypocrisy, contempt or pity.
Thanks for the advice, O.O.N. Does anyone know if the missionary discussions can be found online? I’d love to have a chance to read through it. I know they’ve changed since I was out in the field.
The missionaries are using “Preach My Gospel” in our area and I believe in all areas. In a recent calling I ended up going on splits (so strange story, anyway)that is what they were using. Our area also has a ward quota that so many discussions are to be taught in homes. It doesn’t matter if the discussion is taught to a member or non. With the recent increase in missionaries they are trying to keep the kids busy. I would put them to work, but so far they have been out with wards every night. I have a feeling that they will burn out the inactives in the area. In our ward there is only about 10 families in a ward of 150 families who are inactive.
Our ward is asked to teach 4 discussions a week with the missionaries. Our crazy leadership has added more with the ward missionaries. It is such a mess. I wish we had Mackay as our WML. The whole pressure shepherding did me in and I couldn’t take it anymore. They “know” that because they have been asked to do this, it is a worthy goal that can be accomplished. They haven’t noticed that they are ticking people off left and right, even regular attenders.
Good luck!
At the following link, go to the section called “What Do I Study and Teach?” The missionary lessons are the first five links in that section, finishing with “Laws and Ordinances”. https://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service?lang=eng You have to decide what you want for your kids to begin with. If you want them to believe in the gospel as traditionally taught, then let the missionaries teach the lessons. They might ask you to bear your testimony. Have something prepared that focuses on what you DO believe, even if it i’s simply in the brotherhood of mankind or having a positive attitude. Be nice to the missionaries, let them go home and count they had a discussion. Try to find out their motives for being there – is it to prepare your child or baptism? I like missionaries. I like them to come into my house. We should not be fearful of what they may say or do. They are really just 18 year ignorant kids doing what they think is right. I have found it is so easy to deflect their questions without appearing antagonistic. I just use logic on them. So feed them, ask them where they are from. Get them to talk about themselves as much as possible and not about you.
Cadence wrote:I like missionaries. I like them to come into my house. We should not be fearful of what they may say or do. They are really just 18 year ignorant kids doing what they think is right. I have found it is so easy to deflect their questions without appearing antagonistic. I just use logic on them.
So feed them, ask them where they are from. Get them to talk about themselves as much as possible and not about you.
I really like this. +1.
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