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Stupid Polar Vortex! After being trapped in the house for days on end, I ventured out of the house to take my daughter to swim practice. We got there okay, but getting home was treacherous to the point of being absolutely terrifying. I had my daughter (she’s 11) praying the whole time while I crept along, white-knuckled, at 7 m.p.h. but after the spinning out three times and getting stuck twice I said, To heck with this! I pulled into the nearest parking lot, called my husband and told him there was no way in heck I was driving home. Husband’s first response was, “Did you pray?” I told him no, I hadn’t – I was concentrating VERY hard on not dying – but also that I had no faith in the Lord to get us home safely. As I’ve mentioned before, I have learned not to pray for specific things that I need or want, due to a particularly strained relationship with the Lord. I just didn’t have any reason to believe that God was watching out for me and my daughter and keeping us safe on the roads. Granted, when you get in a car accident at 7 m.p.h. you probably won’t die. But still.
So I called a cab. (I figured if we’re going to get in a wreck, I want it to be on someone else’s insurance.) It took us something like four hours, but my daughter and I did eventually get home safe last night. Talking about it, DH was less bothered by the nearly $100 in cab fare and more bothered by what he perceives as my lack of faith. I think he was also unhappy with the fact that I expressed it in front of our daughter. I do encourage my kids to pray for things that they want/need, but I don’t want them growing up believing, as most kids do, that praying is somehow ‘magical’ or a binding contract in some way. I believe it was Marge Simpson who said, “God isn’t some kind of cosmic Santa Claus.”
So when it comes to a situation like this, how much trust do you place in the Lord and how much trust do you place in the good people of the Gold Cab Company?
About 50/50 – with the first 50 (the Lord) being guidance-asking more than anything else. I would pray for safety but absolutely call a cab if I felt unsafe in the car I was driving. I get the point of believing God can be a figurative co-pilot, but I personally don’t believe in turning over the actual steering wheel to Him.
Maybe heavenly father inspired you to call the cab? Maybe the cab was the answer to the prayer. That old story about the flood and people on the roof praying to be saved comes to mind. You know the one… the people pass up the boat and a helicopter, die from the flood, meet god, ask him what gives, and god tells them that he sent a boat and a helicopter.
I believe that merely thinking about God and wishing He were there to help is an act of faith and sort of “prayer-lite.” It may not be the full in-closet, on your knees, head bowed, eyes closed, arms crossed, talking out loud of traditional prayers, but I’d venture the Great Cab Driver Himself might have considered you thinking about Him as leaning on Him. As a snide remark: even a gun-totin’ TBM might say “Trust the Lord but carry a gun.”
Firstly, I am glad you made it home safe. Though my prayers have morphed from what they were in simpler times, I believe God becomes the underdog too often in life, because he/she/they are really interested in us, I choose to pray, even if it’s a “Help me” and that’s all. I also believe he expects me to make some decisions, and use the tools my life is exposed to. – Calling the cab is perfect. I know there are myriad examples of prayers for help not being answered, but I choose not to include Him in my moments as much as possible.
While I don’t really think praying in this situation is wrong, neither is calling a cab! You don’t need to float out of there on the Holy Ghost – a cab worked, too. I guess I find it disturbing that your husband is so set on you solving problems in the same way he would. It just seems really controlling and judgy. Maybe he wasn’t, but that was what I thought when I read your recap. I’m a lot more in your camp when it comes to prayer vs. calling the cab. The cab is going to be much more helpful than the prayer IMO. I am glad you got home safely. I guess my question is about your hubby. Did he really expect that all you had to do was pray and you’d get home? Really? If God was really looking out for you why didn’t he inspire you not to go to begin with? I totally agree with what everyone here is saying. Calling a cab was definitely a good idea. You can be as careful as possible yourself, but that won’t stop some idiot from driving too fast and ramming into you. And faithful people die in car accidents and random catastrophes all the time (however you want to rationalize that, it does happen). The God I’d like to believe in would expect you to exercise your own best judgment. Having said that, I can understand how he might be upset about your pretty unequivocal statement—that you have no faith that the Lord could get you home safely. Not just that you felt that the Lord would expect you to take care of yourself as best as possible first, but that you literally felt the Lord wouldn’t protect you at all. For a true believer, that’s a pretty harsh statement to hear. I think I can see where he’s coming from, too. New here, I hope you don’t mind if I jump in. First, faith is not a destination it’s a journey. Never feel bad or inadequate for not living up to someone else’s expectations. This journey is yours and yours alone. Sometimes you might be crawling along at 7mph and sometimes you might be calling a cab and that’s okay. The important thing is your moving forward. Brigham Young taught it doesn’t matter how far you’ve traveled only that your on the right path. If you die while on the strait and narrow path regardless of how far you’ve traveled you will not stray from that path in the spirit world. Everybody moves at different speeds. Faith is a very personal journey and we need to learn to walk before we run. Keep in mind this is a marathon not a short race so pace yourself don’t try and keep up with the person ahead of you you’ll only get discouraged.
Second, it is my experience that God always answers prayers. It’s us who fail to see his hand, don’t get the answer we wanted, or are too impatient. In your story your daughter prayed to arrive home safely and you did. How does that show a lack of faith? More like a failure to see His hand involved in getting you home safely. God intends for us to use the brain he blessed us with. If you, or your daughter, prayed to arrive home safely and you did not feel comfortable continuing to drive pulling over and calling a cab shows wisdom, agency, and courage. If it was safe you would have felt peace about continuing. Thinking the prayer alone will magically create some sort of force field around your car is ignorant. You could also go a lot deeper. Stress is not good on the body. Even if God knew he could have got you home safely He choose to bless you with both physical and mental safety. Your faith will increase as you acknowledge His hand in everything! If God always took the wheel every time we asked we would never learn and that would defeat the whole purpose of us being here. God is not an enabler, nor will He ever drive us home. He will simply teach us how to drive and show us the way, and when we make a wrong turn he will throw a ton of obstacles in our path. God is the GPS not the hand on the wheel.
Lastly, please teach your kids to pray. Don’t give them unrealistic expectations, nor downplay its importance. Simply teach them the principle and allow them to learn through the spirit. I lived a lifetime with an inherited unrealistic expectation of faith and prayer. It only leads to feeling inadequate.
God always answers prayers. I also observe that God seems to “help” people the most who actively solve their own problems.
Praying is a great way to either connect with the divine for revelation and assistance, and a great way to calm your conscious mind so that it gets out of the way for you to figure out how to solve your problem. My view is that both at the same time are how God answers prayers.
zeppelinate wrote:God is the GPS not the hand on the wheel.
I love this. Sometimes we forget that we are the ones behind the wheel.
Brian Johnston wrote:God always answers prayers.
I also observe that God seems to “help” people the most who actively solve their own problems.
Praying is a great way to either connect with the divine for revelation and assistance, and a great way to calm your conscious mind so that it gets out of the way for you to figure out how to solve your problem. My view is that both at the same time are how God answers prayers.
I believe that God answers prayers but sometimes the answer to the prayer ‘Please get me home safely’ is a NO.
In any case, I suppose my daughter’s prayers, offered with the humility and sincerity of a very scared child (also I wanted her to focus on praying and NOT the torrent of swear words coming from my mouth.) WERE answered – we did get home safely. But her prayers weren’t answered in a way that makes for a good Friend magazine article or General Conference talk. I think that’s what frustrated me about the whole situation – my experiences growing up in the Church led me to the mindset that the Lord would enable me to drive my car safely home if I just prayed and had enough faith. I’m trying to get away from the “prayers = magic” model of thinking and I’m trying to shoo my children away from that model as well, even though that’s the party line aimed at Primary age children.
nibbler wrote:Maybe heavenly father inspired you to call the cab? Maybe the cab was the answer to the prayer.
That old story about the flood and people on the roof praying to be saved comes to mind. You know the one… the people pass up the boat and a helicopter, die from the flood, meet god, ask him what gives, and god tells them that he sent a boat and a helicopter.
I was thinking exactly the same thing:
Quote:A terrible storm came into a town and local officials sent out an emergency warning that the riverbanks would soon overflow and flood the nearby homes. They ordered everyone in the town to evacuate immediately.
A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself, “I will trust God and if I am in danger, then God will send a divine miracle to save me.”
The neighbors came by his house and said to him, “We’re leaving and there is room for you in our car, please come with us!” But the man declined. “I have faith that God will save me.”
As the man stood on his porch watching the water rise up the steps, a man in a canoe paddled by and called to him, “Hurry and come into my canoe, the waters are rising quickly!” But the man again said, “No thanks, God will save me.”
The floodwaters rose higher pouring water into his living room and the man had to retreat to the second floor. A police motorboat came by and saw him at the window. “We will come up and rescue you!” they shouted. But the man refused, waving them off saying, “Use your time to save someone else! I have faith that God will save me!”
The flood waters rose higher and higher and the man had to climb up to his rooftop.
A helicopter spotted him and dropped a rope ladder. A rescue officer came down the ladder and pleaded with the man, “Grab my hand and I will pull you up!” But the man STILL refused, folding his arms tightly to his body. “No thank you! God will save me!”
Shortly after, the house broke up and the floodwaters swept the man away and he drowned.
When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”
And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”
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