How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

I have been doing just that since moving into my new ward. I have never watched people as closely as I do now. I don’t know if anyone is actually part of staylds.com, but I slowly get a feel for those who may be feminists, or liberal, or well-read. I once heard my GD teacher say he had struggles with his testimony while researching history for certain lessons. I asked him about it later and it opened up the door for some very open candid discussions like the ones that go on here. I teach EQ so I listen to people’s comments and try and strike up conversations afterward, without being overt about it. It is nice to have people to talk to about these things face to face. I recently found out there is a book club that members of the stake are in. It seems to be invite only and is a small group, but after talking to my dad about it, he said there is a club like that in his stake too. It made me wonder if there are clubs like this in many more stakes across the country. Keep looking, you may find some people to talk to after all.

One of my resolutions this year is to be a little more forthcoming and authentic at church. Up to the present, I think I’ve been absolutely un-spottable. So, don’t assume too much, I guess I’m saying, based on appearances or patterns of behavior.

If we here were a real ward, there would still be friction, divergence, etc. But I would love the chance to say hello and thank you.

I would love the chance to meet everyone, too. Is there a chance any of you are in North Carolina?

I used to make a hobby of this, and found quite a few people. It takes a certain amount of social risk, but it was far easier for others to open up when I was putting myself “out there” first. People knew I wasn’t conventional, and I was always open about why my wife wasn’t ever there (she left the church because she disagreed with history and doctrine, and that I supported her decision for herself).

I would make the unconventional comments in class, or point out the obvious paradoxes in the ideas being discussed in order to make the conversation go a little deeper. I would bring up outside view points when I taught classes (used to love teaching EQ and occasionally sub for Gospel Doctrine). People would find me later to talk more about those things. Or they would thank me for speaking up and saying what they wanted to say. NOTE: I didn’t do that stuff all the time, and I always made sure to balance what I did with positive and uplifting comments. I tried hard to not be disruptive. It’s important not to be argumentative. I would usually just throw something out there, and then back off to let people react and resolve the issues however they wanted.

Other than that, these were my radar signs:

-Guys who wouldn’t wear ties and a white shirt.

-People who sat quietly in the back of the class and didn’t participate much, but you could see them getting agitated at times.

-People who bring supplemental material to read in Sacrament Meeting or classes.

-People who raise questions about the lesson material that showed they really were thinking about things farther down the logical tree of implications.

-Part-member families, or people who aren’t in traditional 1950’s nuclear family arrangements.

Blue shirts.

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[Admin note: Just to make it clear to non-Mormons who read and don’t comment, Sam is joking in the last paragraph.]

Haha. This is great. I tip a beer to both of you tonight.

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Non-white shirts and facial hair are not reliable indicators.

Really?

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