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I am suffering from lack of motivation in all areas of my life right now….there was a trigger, but that is not relevant. Church is at the bottom of the list. None of us went this week and justified it with a family council. Any suggestions about what to do when you feel no desire to do anything in your life — even those things that gave you passion at one time?
Let’s not talk about meds — I don’t want them — about proactive things that can help a person get out of the doldrums and excited about life again.
Sounds sort of like depression. I’ve been there too. Exercise is known to help as much as or more than pills for many cases of depressive symptoms. What has helped me a lot was to find something new to focus on. I picked going back to school, and I have been so much happier in my life having that to work towards. If possible, this might be a good time for a little get away. I went to the Grand Canyon for the first time a few years ago, and it was such an experience. It really re-set my views on my life and what is possible. That high lasted a few weeks. Exercise… not just any exercise, one you can enjoy. For instance I hate running so running doesn’t do anything for me. I have cut out all things that I used to run myself ragged with. A had a part-time band that was so successful, I had to form a second one to cover all the work. I cancelled all the upcoming work with the blessing of my musicians who I wore out with too much work for their part-time desires. I have reduced my involvement with a non-profit. I was going to quit altogether, but I went to two meetings in one week and they actually pulled me out of my despondency for a day until I got hit again by something else. I realized this was something I needed to retain for my mental health, this community service work.
So, I only reduced the frequency of certain meetings over which I had control, and shifted the collaboration to email. I also stopped caring so much about my work. Not neglecting it, or declaring “do a half-cocked job at work day”, but making it secondary to my personal time, placing limits on when people can call me. I no longer agree to send things to people via email anymore. I tend to be an epicenter of information and find a lot of time is spent sending people things i have created.
So I post it once on a free website and give people the website address on a piece of paper. I check email once a day, and I turn down contract work by pricing it so high people won’t hire me, and if I get it, it excites me. And I slowed down my progress on my PhD. I also bought a television and watch comedy shows to pick myself up. Basically, I try to keep my schedule empty and focus on getting my house fixed up, which makes me feel better.
I no longer get involved in things that require paperwork and asked my wife to handle routine paperwork tasks she is actually pretty good at. And I drop everything to be with my family now.
None of this is permanent, but it helps….I don’t really like exercise as it hurts my body now that I am aging a bit, but perhaps I could take more walks with my family.
More suggestions are welcome, as all these measure above have only brought a surface kind of help, although positive….
Yes, I have experienced this recently and am somewhat still experiencing this. I’ve been going through a transition process with my current employment. When I was hired over 3 years ago the position was a very growing and stretching experience. The project has been winding down and I’ve been looking for the next opportunity, and not seeing much on the horizon right now. I’m not growing as much as when I first started the project and I miss that. I think things will change once the next project comes along. Not sure if that is the same type of experience you’re having right now.
I would agree with the advice already given, although some methods are not a one size fits all solution.
For me, I have been reading some quantum physics books lately and have started writing my own science-fiction novella. I would say find something that interests you that will push your abilities, but not take away from family time.
SD, I wish I could offer some grand advice, but I don’t really have any. I am just responding to say that I can empathize with you. I have had similar struggles as well. I will let you know if I come up with any answers. I agree about exercise being really effective. I also have read studies showing that the correct amount of Amino Acids and Vit D can help with depression, but if what you are going through isn’t physiological then I am not sure they would help?? It sounds like you are a highly driven individual and are just slowing down a bit. Is there anything wrong with just relaxing? or does that cause depression? I am reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It is helping me to find the joy in just BEING. Not doing, just BEING. Those peaceful moments are further apart than I would like, but it is a start.
My 2 cents;)
Duplicate post. opentofreedom wrote:
It sounds like you are a highly driven individual and are just slowing down a bit. Is there anything wrong with just relaxing? or does that cause depression? I am reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It is helping me to find the joy in just BEING. Not doing, just BEING. Those peaceful moments are further apart than I would like, but it is a start.My 2 cents;)
Highly driven is an understatement. I have seven different degrees/certificates/certifications that I’ve accumulated mostly over the last 8 years.
Doing nothing used to be depressing to me, but now, I don’t care. I want my schedule empty to just sit around and talk to my kids and family, give hugs, rely on each other for support, be together, do things together. I want to keep my personal living space orderly and clean, as this picks up my spirits.
My employer has become so idiotic that anyone with talent has quit or resigned recently. My employment used to be my life, as was the church and then my family (as church service often relegates it to last). When I stopped heavy involvement at Church, it was my work and my community work that mattered, and my proof to myself I could run a small business on the side, which I did with some success. I have scrapped the hobby business after it became a strong success for a hobby business, kept a piece of the community work, and couldn’t care less about my work if it wasn’t for pay and benefits.
My family has been the beneficiary. Strange, they don’t demand more time from me, and seem to appreciate my full attention and ability to lounge around the house with them, and take short entertainment trips now and then.
I really think this plan of doing nothing but relaxing and flitting from thing to thing that brings me happiness is all that is important right now. I am sure it will pass, but I am open to other suggestions for how to slow down — I may read the book about Being, as that is what I’m doing right now — along with a lot of unstructured eating.
I am not debilitated, but I have periods of nausea when I think about my work. I found a new job at a good rate of pay 5 minutes from my house, but I can’t take it or I owe my employer $30,000 — for reasons I won’t go into. To make matters worse, my bosses boss (who calls the major shots in my work) is an anti-Mormon and broadcasted her anti-Mormonism to someone after besmirching muslims in front of a group of people. I hate going to work knowing that women has so much power over my economic situation, and I can’t even leave. I have encouraged him to submit an anonymous harrassment report through our “anonymous” whistleblower system we have, but I think he’s afraid.
So, when I once had church, work, family as my triology of peace-producing activities, I am now down to this non-profit and my family, and I am struggling to keep the non-profit between meetings, which I find energizing.
It sounds like you are putting things in the “right” priority and that your family is happy. Am I hearing you that the most stressful thing is your job and the fact that you feel trapped? I am so sorry to hear your struggles because being “trapped” in a hostile work place is rough. I hope you can find a way to make it work. I am definatly not a therapist, but it sounds like anxiety attacks brought on from job. I wish I could offer some helpful advice, but I believe the best “advice” is our own advice that comes from the highest part of you/ and/or God. Whichever feels right with your beliefs. I can’t say what works for you, but guided meditations work amazing for me when I have anxiety. And I HIGHLY recommend “The power of Now”. It helps me to realize that I don’t have to worry about the future, because at this very moment I am OK. I can deal with X,Y,Z when I come to it. Even if it is 5 mins away.
I really hope you find peace in your situation. I am glad you are finding joy in your family and just resting and spending time with family. That sounds awesome. It is funny b/c that is all I do and I want to start being more proactive with my life outside of my family. Like going back to school, or getting certified as a holistic healer… JUST SOMETHING other than sitting on the coach and watching My Little Pony..haha Balance will be the key to happiness.
Silent Dawning – I’m sorry about your lack of motivation. I am glad you are loving the family time. Remember what Chronicles says, “to every thing there is a time and purpose.” Maybe family time and down time is just what the doctor ordered for you. Cherish it. I love to recommend to books – considering this post and a couple of others from you – I wondered if you had read, Anatomy of Peace or Leadership and Self-Deceeption. They seem to be up your alley. The other book I thought of was Tuesday’s With Morrie. No pressure to read them, they just came to mind. I do hope the joy of family time continues.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Anatomy-Peace-Resolving-Conflict/dp/1576755843 Hi, SD – Sorry things are difficult right now. For what it’s worth, you come across as someone with incredible energy, so maybe this down time just puts your “output” in normal range. I hope something clicks for you soon, though. I am sorry to hear all this and like many can relate to some extent. At the start of the year I started to get rid of ten things a day. I started with my shirts then went on to pants, socks, shoes then on to books, old movies on VHS etc. I find this very motivating for me to make my life more simple. I am not a big shopper and don’t buy things just for the sake of owning something. I will continue to do this until I think I am out of unneeded items. I am a clean person and don’t like clutter to begin with but I find this very liberating and thus a motivation for me. Just am idea. I hope things get better and don’t be too hard on yourself. Hi SD. Sorry that you are going though this. It’s not easy but is fairly common for me when I interact with people that try to commandeer my life in church. So I refute lot go through this when I am active in church. It sucks but there are ways around it. At least they minimize it.
As said it is a strong sign of depression when it goes for a few weeks or more(at least clinically).
It’s important to find outbursts bothering you and address it. Unresolved important aspects of life can leave the mind wondering both or either consciously or unconsciously. Leaving a feeling of lack of interest or motivation in others or all areas.
I often get away when I can into the mountain forest or ocean to escapee the push and pull of people in my life that gets me apathetic about everything. For me it is a sure sign of stress while I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I want independent of others influences. I just can’t in my normal everyday life because they won’t stop “insisting” and
“Helping” and “loving”. In their mind it is but they are being over bearing and smothering and demanding.
So I made a peaceful place I can go and think. Certain national parks are my “temple”. I go there to think without interference and meditate and pray. I find when I come back from my “comfort zone” back into the “very uncomfortable zone”. I generally do a lot better for awhile. I don’t tell exactly the spot I go so others can’t run passive interference with “good intentions”. It helps calm me in such a demanding life where I have little to no time to think about who I am or what I want or need. I tend to want to help others naturally and naturally they take advantage of it but I can’t see it until I wind up stressed and disinterested about life. Then I notice.
That’s me, personally. What ever is bothering you I hope you dan fund it and work on it so you can enjoy the wonders and mysteries and knowledge in life. Take care.
Quote:Any suggestions about what to do when you feel no desire to do anything in your life
Candy Crush and Cheetos.
I’ve battled with depression most of my life and only in the last two years have been able to put together an action plan or routine to keep me on my toes or pick me back up if I’ve taken a nose dive. I highly recommend reading David Burns “Feeling Good” if you haven’t already. He is known as the father of cognitive behavior therapy and has done tons of research on depression, anxiety, and procrastination. It’s not just happy thoughts mumbo jumbo but a solid approach to confronting your inner chatter. I also second the recommendation for exercise, it’s amazing how big of a difference it can make and how quickly it takes effect.
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