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As more essays come out, as more potential for faith crisis rise, I wonder how can I help – by help I mean assist, mend, heal. I have spent the past 6 years learning so much. If I were honest there is a joy in this journey I didn’t expect. Finding and Defining my innate faith has been powerful beyond belief, prayer real sincere prayer has found a new home in my heart. A love of love beats deeply in me. I even have moments where SS doesn’t bug me. So you believe in a 6000 year old narrative. Okay, I don’t. No biggie. What I can’t get my mind off what about those coming up, what if the essays push a flood of hearts over the edge, what will I do? I’ve decided – Spread the good. Share hope and uplift. I want to help the others who may come crashing down find a footing over the bridge, with less collapse than mine was. I know collapse has it’s own healing, and I know I’ve climbed places I wouldn’t, but I also know that coaches and mentors can help so much.
Have you thought what you might do, if the dam breaks and lots of hearts are involved?
At one point I wanted to be more proactive and I thought that it would be nice to have an open support group/system within the church… kind of like the recovery from addiction program. Which in some ways it might actually be 
I think one obstacle to that is that leadership doesn’t quite understand what people that have gone through a faith crisis feel. If there was such a support group leadership would recommend the support group to people that wouldn’t necessarily benefit from it. Like something to funnel all inactive members and bored youth through.
And of course people in our situations will always come across as the black sheep or worse yet, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Hard to have a church sanctioned support group when that’s the attitude. You’d have to have a TBM in all the meetings reporting back to make sure the group isn’t apostate. Still I think one key in moving past a FC and getting back to a positive mindset is communication and putting people together. Just hearing that there are other people like me was a large help, then there are strengths in numbers to help people lift where they stand.
Beautifully written. “No biggie” – I need to get to there first. I still find myself thinking “biggie!” (which then results in moments like last week’s outburst in priesthood). It would be great to have the calling of being Stake doubters co-ordinator. Or Ward Middle-wayers Leader.
I think the Internet is probably the best (only?) way to do this, for now at least.
Maybe we should create a pool of money to start promoting this site. We could on google adwords like “Elder Uchtdorf” or “Mormon forum” or “Mormon history.”
It would probably get a bit pricey though and we’re few in number.
The “lift where you stand” idea is probably the best one. Not sure how though.
I feel my biggest contributions are in letting my friends know that there is more than one right way to be a Mormon and that my friendship doesn’t hinge on their choices in that arena. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I don’t know if you understand how much I appreciate your contributions here and how much I admire you.
Curtis wrote:Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t know if you understand how much I appreciate your contributions here and how much I admire you.
Same here!
This is actually one reason why a while ago I asked if there was any interest in writing more articles for the main page of this site. The forums are awesome in many ways. But they have limitations, too. It can be hard to find information on a particular topic, and even if you do it doesn’t always apply very well, or there may be tons of tangents or irrelevant comments. Most people don’t feel comfortable posting right away or at all, and so their issue might never get any real attention or resolution. But targeted articles are easily found and consumed right from the main site, and they have better search engine availability, too. Have you spent much time on other LDS sites like Mormon Stories, Rational Faiths, and the like? You might consider offering to write a blog post or do an interview for a podcast.
Good questions. I have been sought out by some in the stake after my release form the HC and I told the leaders I would be willing to help others if they need to talk to someone but they were very cool (not interested) in that. I attend and many in stake and ward leadership know of my “doubts” , many of those I would have considered pretty good friends and I now notice that they shy way from me. Others that have remained close have also noticed the divide. The problem is, that we don’t have the answers that they need to keep their same testimonies and when we say that yes, this is messed up, and I felt lied to, it only adds fuel to their fire. I do think that this site has helped a lot but I have noticed the the essays are only matters worse for me and after a few friends that I have that have read the essays and then started talking to others that have studied the topics that there are more questions than answers. I think there are very few here on stayLDS and even still fewer on NOM that agree with and support what the church has put out and we would more harm discussion them with new people going through a faith crisis.i
I enjoy your posts very much, and remember Casting My Net on the Other Side, in particular. I don’t have any suggestion except to keep on keeping on. I think of you often and some of your words are on my heart. They get buried by hurt, frustration and anger but every time you post, I am uplifted. Thank you. mackay11 wrote:Beautifully written. “No biggie” – I need to get to there first. I still find myself thinking “biggie!” (which then results in moments like last week’s outburst in priesthood).
It would be great to have the calling of being Stake doubters co-ordinator. Or Ward Middle-wayers Leader.
I actually thought about a calling like this the other day. How cool would that be? I may not have outbursts in PM but I have avoided RS for the last few months for this very reason. I am not there yet. I have noticed how carefully things are worded by some and ran into a HS friend the other day who turns out after a short conversation is in a FC struggle. I think there are plenty out there without this support. It is a hard thing!
Thank you for support and compliments. I look up to so many people on this board. The pieces that are written -Hawkgrrl. The lessons you prepare and teach – Curtis, Mackay, Ann. The talks you give – church, and GodisLove. If I am doing well it is often because of you and your thoughts/experiences. I do want to address the “No Biggie” – I have my days where I bite my tongue or sit in my car before I leave church and offer a prayer of “Please help”. But I am finding that where my heart is has a huge impact on the No Biggie’s. I am learning to prepare before I go to class. I read the lessons if I can, I bring quotes, essays, etc. with me. I also attend with a heart intent on Christ.
I have spent the past few years trying to impact the church, its dialogue, and others ideas. I am realizing I can’t do much. Christ also couldn’t do much. That’s not to say I am like him. I don’t see that at all. I only know I find peace when I remember that. He practiced the religion he was born into. He attended synagogue, ceremonies, etc. He spoke up at times. These weren’t successful moments, even his siblings wished he wouldn’t do/say things. Just keep the peace. So he learned to. He honored his heritage, his parents, and his mission – still connected to Judaism. That’s where I am.
I also have a stubborn belief that my being there in a seat, even without my comments, I am making room for someone else. I try now, to seek out and thank teachers, commentors, and so on, when they bring up a principle I can support – especially if they are a lone voice. My hope is that my little effort will erode a layer each time, and bring us closer to more kind conversations, and eventually to a more sincere Christ Like life approach.
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