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A young friend came by to visit yesterday. She just turned 22. She and some of her family members joined the church when she was 14. Her family life is difficult to say the least, including parents in the middle of a divorce, Muslim father from Iran, sister who’s a member but now actively anti, etc. I admire and respect her for her poise and grace in these circumstances. Anyway, she’s in college and some of her friends have been pelting her with some of the thorny questions about the church. Since she couldn’t answer their questions because she doesn’t really know anything about them (BoM translation/existence, Adam-God theory, Blacks and the Priesthood), she did a very smart thing and referred them to the sister missionaries in our ward. They agreed to meet with them this week. The upshot of all this is that now she’s confused and doesn’t know what to think herself. She loves the church with all her heart and it has transformed her life in extraordinary ways. She doesn’t know anything about my faith transformation and I believe has respect for me. Thankfully, because of this site, I was able to help her. This is what I said:
My family goes way back in the church, I’ve been a member all my life and I’ve heard it all. None of that matters to me now. What matters to me is that the gospel makes me happy and helps me be a better person. There are small moments of pure joy and I love the people. I told her not to worry about the other things right now and go with she believes and makes her happy.
That was the right answer for her and she went away relieved and satisfied. Before I came to StayLDS, I wouldn’t have known how to answer her and probably would have gotten into all kinds of things she didn’t need to hear and made things worse. This was my first chance to “pay it forward” and it helped make more sense of things for me too. As I was talking to her, I realized that I believed what I was saying. This for me is the point and purpose of staying LDS. So, this is a success story and thank you all for making it possible.
writer63 wrote:My family goes way back in the church, I’ve been a member all my life and I’ve heard it all. None of that matters to me now. What matters to me is that the gospel makes me happy and helps me be a better person. There are small moments of pure joy and I love the people. I told her not to worry about the other things right now and go with she believes and makes her happy.
Yesterday 8 year old DD asked me – “what if Jesus isn’t real but just a story?”
I told her that we have many pieces of evidence that a man named Jesus did live and that he was a great teacher.
I told her that not everyone agrees that he was the Messiah, the Christ, or the Son of God.
I told her that following the teachings of Jesus makes me a better person and brings blessings to me and those around me.
Finally, that she can know for herself by her personal experience whether these teachings are a benefit to her life.
I hope that by going through this process early – my kids can have a more flexible belief system.
Thank you, writer63, for that story. There is a lot that is profound in it, and I appreciate hearing about it. If something makes someone happy, and especially if it has helped change one’s life in a real and profound and important way, there is no need to take an approach that puts such joy in jeopardy. “I’ve heard it all, and I’ve reached the point where it doesn’t bother me compared to the joy I have,” is a wonderful way to phrase it for people who don’t need a change in perspective right now.
Thanks Curtis. Excellent point. Roy, sounds like a great way to handle it. I wish I had been that smart when my kids were little.
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