A Suicide

Oh, that breaks my heart!! I feel for him, and agree that he was already in hell. I also have never bought into that belief either. Depression is hard, just so very hard. I just think and hope that he found the relief that he needed. I cant even pretend that I have a clue about the afterlife, but some of the beliefs that I am formulating are quite beautiful, and I see God embracing Him and giving him the love that he so greatly desired and didn’t know how to receive in the this life.

Sending love and prayers to his family. Hope they find the comfort, peace and support they need at this time.

I wish there were more things that could be done to stop people from ending life in this way, but I also understand the irrational, lonely, isolating thoughts that accompany depression, especially severe depression. A friend of mine from high school just ended his life last week as well. Tragic. My heart aches for the pain they must have felt the months, weeks and days before.

I think about this subject often because I have a brother that has attempted suicide twice. He suffers from extreme anxiety and bi-polar depression. I used to regularly expect a call saying that he had finally succeeded. As I mentioned, I can’t pretend to have a clue about the purpose of life as I used to “know”, but I feel that his life isn’t all just for his “progression” but that his mental illness has been for my benefit and progression. That possibly there were things he agreed to in the pre-mortal life in order to help our family progress. I have learned so much from him the past 11 years that he has extremely suffered… especially the 2 years he lived with us. I honestly don’t think I would have learned to have so much compassion for the homeless, mentally ill, or spiritually. I used to just want people to FREAKING TRY HARDER! Even him! UNTIL he lived with us and I saw the pain, I saw his struggle, I saw him try to beat this depression. I saw him beat himself up for being mentally ill. It is heartbreaking. He no longer lives with us, and he has come to a place of acceptance of his limitations. It is so sad because he has he was almost finished with his doctorate degree, and he had to quit the program twice to find himself with no job and on disability. But acceptance of what is goes a long way. I think we, as people and the church, have come SO FAR in the understanding of mental illness, but we have so far to go!

Sambee – Really very sorry to read this. I hope all goes as well as possible in the aftermath. One of the most beautiful LDS funerals I’ve attended was for a young father who took his own life. Seeing everyone come together to support his family was heart-warming, and I didn’t, even casually, hear anyone judge or condemn him.

Edited.

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/suicide-some-things-we-know-and-some-we-do-not?lang=eng” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/suicide-some-things-we-know-and-some-we-do-not?lang=eng

There was another church talk/article related to suicide that I remember finding a few years ago. Unfortunately I can no longer find it.

Curtis Wrote:

One of my favorite aspects of our theology is the refusal to classify suicide as murder and condemn people who commit suicide to Hell – but, instead, to make it explicit that we only are accountable for things that are within our control (and even to allow for varying degrees of control).

I love that about our theology, I come from a LONG line of Catholics, my parents converted when I was young. So the belief I was taught was that suicide was a “straight ticket to hell” (as Sam put it). Did the church always have such loving theology regarding suicide? I guess I don’t care, I am just glad they do now.

I usually don’t comment on things like this because it’s to close to home for me. Having said that I do have a lot of experience with therapist and suicide victims and attempts in this area.

Largely, most attempts are by people who really don’t want to. Various environmental conditions and actions by others typically go unresolved for awhile, plies for help tend to go largely ignored or minimized. After a period of time there is a threshold(varies by person). In a last ditch effort for a cry for help they com tinplate suicide in a last ditch cry for help.

That is far from compromising every situation or individual. But it covers a good portion.

For me personally, I struggle to live in such a authoritative, aggressive, dogmatic, black and white thinking world. At least places I grew up or put myself into. Why I continue to find or place myself into cultures that turn a blind eye or encourage it is something I struggle to understand. Low self-eteme? A challenge? Make the world a better place complex? Others? Maybe a combination? At the moment the church is the only place I allow myself to attend or place myself into. Stress and anxieties mount. Before you can rehearse them or cope with them, you find yourself in another situation further building on the stress and anxiety, thus mounting continually. Something will give. Some people stop caring, others blow up or become aggressive toward others, others focus inwardly at themselves. I fall into the latter. As a coping mechanism I do a lot of voluntary work with victims of domestic violence, rape, or emotional abuse. Because I am apparently to weak and passive to say anything as I experience or watch events unfold. I keep it all in.

I think a lot would help as I learn to be more assertive and express outwardly in a positive manner. Trouble is even if you do that in many cultures it’s seen as a threat.

I guess the point is that teaching kids how to be assertive for themselves and positively express themselves and standing up for their rights is not something that is really taught, but would befit so many. They will reach adulthood without having learned it. Bottled up or become aggressive. We need to be more active in good mental health teachings and exercises.

No one ever taught me to look at myself in the mirror and say something positive about myself. Like homeless people we tend to ignore depression on average because we have the wrong ideas about it or think its contagious and steer clear of it.

More education and acceptance would go a long way. But much like domestic violence, people tend to sweep it under the rug because it’s something uncomfortable to acknowledge or talk about. I hope we can change that.

Hyrum W. Smith gave a talk at the funeral of a suicide victim in 2002. There’s a printed copy of the talk called “My Peace I Give Unto You.” I didn’t have time to read through all the posts in this thread, so someone may have already mentioned it. It’s an excellent resource for LDS families dealing with a suicide in the family. Hyrum Smith was DH’s mission pres. and one of DH’s companions told him about it at the time. We’ve given it to a few people who have gone through this. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find it online except at Amazon for like $80 (? it’s a twelve page pamphlet.) It’s something worth reading if you can find it.

Genuinely sorry about Robin Williams. His career was perhaps largely past, but those of Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Brittany Murphy weren’t.