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As a TBM I got frustrated because my prayers weren’t getting answered the way I wanted them to. I’d pray to score well on a test, or to get the job I applied for, or for some woman to return my affection. I got pretty upset about the whole thing, and I ended up with a faith crisis. So for awhile I didn’t pray at all. Now I’ve started praying again, but my prayers are very different. Instead of thanking and asking, as is the norm in Mormon prayers, I express my feelings and talk things out. i plead sometimes, but I retract those please because I don’t think that the entity that I am praying to is going to consciously grant my requests for things to happen the way I want.
But I have been pleasantly surprised at how my prayers for wisdom are answered. Through prayer I’ve been able to work out solutions to some situations I’ve been dealing with. Whether the answers come from the realm of the Divine, or from my own mind, is hard to say. But my prayers for wisdom have been answered generously, and I’ve been quite happy with it.
I’ve had some of my best experiences with prayer when I pray outdoors. Maybe it’s because I’m a man and Nature is a temple to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a scientist at heart and Nature is fascinating to me. Maybe it has to do with our evolutionary heritage. Whatever the reason, I find it much more powerful to pray outdoors, and to pray out loud when I’m outdoors. Nephi prayed on the top of a mountain and Enos prayed in the forest. If you haven’t tried praying outdoors, I recommend it because I’ve found it to be a deeper spiritual experience than praying in my room or in church.
Yesterday I climbed one of the foothills above Salt Lake City. I arrived at the top about sunset, and the moon was out. I looked up at the sky and prayed (out loud). I talked about my feelings and what I wanted. I asked for wisdom to know what to do. I watched the stars come out, and I looked up at the stars and prayed. It was a great experience. I came down from the mountain with some answers as to what to do. I hope the actions I’m planning will lead me in the right direction.
It’s good to see that you’re moving beyond the very limited, non-contemplative style of prayer taught in the LDS Church. If you haven’t already done so, try praying silently and gradually holding thoughts in your head without the use of language. In other words, try to achieve a level of contemplation where you aren’t even thinking in words of any language. There is a way to picture in your mind those things such as your family that you are praying for without using words or even thinking on an intellectual level. You will find that many times, the form of prayer will become pointless and there will be no need to close the prayer when you’re coming out of a period of deep reflection. InquiringMind wrote:Now I’ve started praying again, but my prayers are very different. Instead of thanking and asking, as is the norm in Mormon prayers, I express my feelings and talk things out. i plead sometimes, but I retract those please because I don’t think that the entity that I am praying to is going to consciously grant my requests for things to happen the way I want.
Thanks for your whole post. I also take things back sometimes. I say it all and then revisit it.
I have a difficult time with prayer because at the time of my faith crisis I really felt like there was nobody there to listen. I haven’t said a deliberate prayer for years. Honestly, I think there’s some fear driving it. I don’t want to feel alone and let down again. Maybe your style of prayer will work better for me. Thank you for this post. I am not ready to start praying again, but when I do, I think it might look something like this. I know this is my hippie nature coming out, but I have read information regarding praying with the moon. I have done that in the past few months, and it felt really powerful. If I weren’t such a chicken I might have the courage to go to the mountain and pray alone, but I would be praying to not be eaten by a bear instead..haha My “prayers” are more of the meditation type that Convert suggests. With no words, just stillness and connecting.
Thanks for sharing. My faith crisis also had prayer as a major component. I’m not where you are yet. I do not pray regularly and I never ask for anything because based on my experiences I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get anything. If and when I do return to regular prayer, I would guess it will probably be much like yours except I’m not eve sure I would ask for wisdom. It might be worth a try, I suppose. I do agree with you about praying/worshiping outside. I get the same feeling I do in the temple when I have done so. Good positive stuff. Thanks so much for sharing! Your description of your prayer in nature was beautiful. I’ve come to believe that we must pray IN God instead of praying to God. To still our minds and truly abide in His presence. Meditation has been the key for me. Learning to still my mind and just be. It’s amazing the wisdom and insights you can gain when you are able to stop the chatter in your mind.
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