Pollyana-ism and the Church

As a pessimist (or realist, depending on your point of view) I find Pollyanaism annoying anyway. There is a silver lining to being a pessimist, however – I am always either being proven correct or being pleasantly surprised.

Pollyana-ism works for people who need that type of outlook. It can be a powerful orientation for a lot of people. It doesn’t work for someone like me who has an analytical mind by nature, but I don’t begrudge the protective nature of it and the benefit it can be to lots of people.

Having said that, I talk about disappointing aspects of our church culture all the time – but I’ve learned how to frame it constructively, in a way that most people can accept.

It’s kind of funny that you would mention boring meetings in your list, since the post yesterday on my personal blog was titled “Boredom and Sacrament Meeting”. (http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2014/03/boredom-and-sacrament-meeting.html)

I see this a lot. Even as destructive things or systems took their hold right in front of your eyes, the glossy eyes poured forth about how wonderful it was, even when the person right in front of you was suffering from the system in fear or tears.

That’s the part that bothers me. One of my theorist who happened to be a escapee from North Korea had a lot to say about this type of system of Pollyanna-ism.

We went through the pros and cons and the outright danger it can take when practiced or I statuses widely on a system instead of individual level.

It had slipped my mind recently until stake leadership conference about indoctrinating the youth at a earlier age to help stem the tide leaving the church when they are older as part if hastening the work.

Tightly controlled Dissemination of information along with Pollyanna-ism at a earlier age in a stringer dose to help stem the losses later in their development.

Primarily why I don’t want to have a kid right now.

In a personal individual level it can be helpful. But a system wide level it does more harm them good by making even questionable things seem good or great.

For my part I enjoy positivity, it’s part of the reason I married my wife.

But I steer clear of any person, organization, or system that frowns on talking about things that could use improvement in a positive matter or tries to keep such talk in the down low.

Part if the reason I don’t blame my family or people I. My old ward is because they really believed they were doing what was right because in Pollyanna-ism. It’s all great, even when it’s not. After all the ends justifies the means. It will look great in the end and everything will turn out ok, even if it doesn’t , even if it currently isn’t.

More importantly, even if the data shows that it doesn’t or will not, it just will, because that’s the way it works. The way it’s designed to work.

You have to take this from the other angle. A lot of church leaders are put upon, and are desperate to keep everything together. Also we have to have a degree of necessary boredom, which is called administration.

It can go the other way. There is a group, you probably know of ex-Mormons who talk about the church in almost entirely negative terms. They are the opposite – they’re like the anti-Pollyannas… they don’t see the good stuff anymore. If there was no good stuff the church would be unbearable.

Can we at least describe it as a Curate’s egg?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curate%27s_egg

The thing is one is not better then the other on a system level.

We can have Pollyanna-ism but in doing so we have no right to talk about EX-mos as if it is better.they are both equally helpful and equally destructive.

Pollyanna-ism is different from being positive. It’s seeing everything from a manufactured tinted glass, just like anger.

One does not tint more then the other, each is equally helpful and destructive.

There are quite a few studies to show this.

I prefer the middle in as much as humanly possible. Statistically it is the safest and less dangerous place then either.

I read over Curtis’ blog …two parts struck me — that if you’re not spiritually fed, you should figure out some way to get spiritually fed. For me, that means reading during meetings.

This part also struck me:

Having said that, if you are bored on a regular basis, you might need to focus on your own spirituality in some way. If you are bored during a sincere attempt by a non-professional congregant to share his or her heart in a talk that was prepared with fear and trembling and who simply suffers from anxiety, lack of experience and/or poor public speaking skills – I’d say, maybe, you aren’t charitable enough.

Not sure if I agree with the latter part of this though. I think we get overdosed on “the supportive member” role. These kinds of inexperienced presentations occur regularly, each week over decades and a lifetime. I do wish the church felt some onus to measure the quality of their meetings and to put systems in place that promote quality. We have the means, the manpower, and certainly the need. But the prevailing attitude is that we need to just suck it up…and some would imply that if we get bored of it after several decades, we are not being Christlike….I disagree — I think continuous improvement, and producing good quality work where possible, and within our means, is very much part of being a Christlike leader or administrator as the leader most certaly would want his or her sheep to be fed well.

SD, my post said that there are systemic reasons why church can be boring that are NOT the fault of the congregants. I made that point crystal clear and explicit in the final paragraph. I also said I gave my friend the advice I did because I knew her well enough to give that particular advice.

My point remains, however, that if someone is bored on a continual, regular basis, ultimately that person has to find a way not to be bored – and there are multiple ways to do that, ranging from not attending anymore to bringing something else that will engage them whenever boredom threatens.

Complaining about something can be productive and is important – for a while. If that doesn’t work, continuing to complain only adds to frustration. Thus, extended boredom is better handled by finding a way to change it than by enduring its continuation.