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I’ve been gone (for the most part) for the past year. I’ve looked in from time to time & made a few comments.
I came to this forum Sep 2011.
http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=4017&p=53453#p53453 This was my last (major) report. (Feb 2013)
http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3629 This was my (re)introduction. (Sep 2012)
Over the past year, my wife & I have done our best to become active in the Church again.
Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way to activity:
A. We are not alone. There are others like us who have found a middle road & stayed active. It takes effort to identify them within your ward & stake. They are worth looking for. You will be surprised who they are & their position within the Church. They have been a great support for me & my wife.
B. As the doctrines & teaching of the Church have developed & changed over time, I have the same right to change over time.
C. Find a way to be of service. Within Church or outside of Church (or both). I love the families I HT.
I won’t take more than I can manage.
D. Learn to say “No” from time to time & don’t feel guilty. I use to say no to my children (& my job) all the time. Why do I feel guilty saying “No” to people in authority at Church? That has changed.
I hope this helps anyone who is thinking about coming back.
If you’re not thinking about coming back, do something else that inspires you.
If you decide to come to my ward, I’ll be looking for you. I sit way in the back.
Thanks for the update, Mike. Some wise words. Mike wrote:I sit way in the back.
Haha… yeah me too. I always, have… even when I was a still-believing member of the Church.Thanks for the update and the thoughts.
Mike – Thanks for checking in. I have missed you. I am a Metal Chair Mormon also. I find comfort in those seats, perspective, even spirituality. I am happy you and your wife are having successful transitions. I wish we all could. That said, every time one of us finds that nugget of goodness and “middle-wayness” in others, it strengthens my willingness to keep my heart open in my area. I wish you continued joy and success.
Hi Mike. Thanks for the update. I really like ideas. You’ve always had a gentle personality on this forum. Because if that I really enjoy your post. Thank you. Happy it is working well for you. We really do need to support each other, as in life, all people need support, no matter their road. I really think service to your fellow man can for fill long empty hearts with joy when giving of yourself in your own way and time. Can’t think of a greater happiness then to serve those I’m need. No matter which road they are on.
It is good to hear from you. I am glad that you have found a way to make it work. How are you finding other people like you? I am finding it harder to still attend. church0333 wrote:How are you finding other people like you? I am finding it harder to still attend.
It started with a good HT. He is a Professor at the local University. During one of his visits, I just let it all come out. He listened & didn’t pass judgement. He shared somethings about his life & experiences. I didn’t pass judgement. Trust builds & develops into a friendship.
Next, I think I was adopted by a member of the Bishopric. I’m their HT now. Then you have short conversations in the hall at church. In each case I’ve made it very clear that if they betray my trust, everything is over. I mentioned that in a talk at church and the Bishop got up afterwards & talked further about it & how important it was especially for HT’s & VT’s to maintain confidences.
Finding others at Church, (work or school) we can trust takes effort & time.
There are others at church who I won’t even say Hi to.
That’s how I do it. I was good hearing from everyone again. Thanks.
church0333, I look for the ones who remain silent in class – always or nearly always. Sometimes, they simply aren’t concerned about commenting, but often they don’t want to rock the boat with what they would say. Also, I tend to look at people around the room when I make a comment that isn’t fully traditional – to see who is nodding or indicating agreement and who is shaking their heads or indicating disagreement. That practice has done more to show me other heterodox members than just about anything else.
Good advice from Mike up at the top of the the thread.
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