It’s probably time

Well a belated welcome to the forum then

Good to have you with us.

Welcome. I understand that you really can’t explain all of your feelings or thoughts in an introductions – as Pres. Uchtdorf said, “It’s not that simple.”

Just a couple thoughts. I think you may be coming to terms with the idea that the church and the gospel are not one-in-the-same. The gospel certainly is part of the church, but it is also both much simpler and much bigger than the church. It has been difficult for me (and others here) to separate the two, but I think it’s a necessary step for many of us. related to that, the whole idea that your son needs to serve a mission and that men are somehow less if they don’t is part of the church, not the gospel. I think you are right in that your son is not lesser in the sight of God because of his choices – one of the greatest gifts of God is free agency. Neither Pres. Monson not Pres. Hunter served missions as young men – are they lesser in the sight of God?

Welcome to the forum! I empathize, as I suppose all or most of us do. I certainly waver between different feelings about church, but a lot of my angry feelings have dissipated. I am more left with a desire to do whatever feels right in pursuing faith based on my own experiences, and I also feel a lot of discomfort and close-mindedness when at church. I want to be at church and find upliftment, yet it takes effort now to get that at church. I hope that you continue to find support and ideas here that help you in your journey.

Great to have you on the site! Welcome!

The things that have brought me to where I am now are many- and too much for one little intro- but if I had to boil it down I’d say this: as my kids have gotten older (and as I have experienced more if life!) I’ve realized that things don’t always go according to plan.

Hi, meggle – Glad you’re here. I think that experience/age is part of what’s going on with my faith, too. The younger me was really full of it – wisdom about how to raise kids and have everything turn out. The older me is much quieter in R.S.

This is my first day on staylds.com, but I was deeply moved by the feelings of “It’s probably time.” I am a convert to the Church, converted when I was 12, but my parents wouldn’t let me be baptized until I was 16. I went to BYU, got married, had kids, went to the temple, then my husband left me (while I was pregnant with my second son.) I tried so hard to raise them in the Church – our little FHE’s, which is difficult with two toddlers 18 months apart. It finally got to the point that they refused to go. I continued going until about 19 years ago, when I left the Church for personal reasons. Ironically I kept searching all these other churches, but none of them believed the LDS doctrine! 🙄 I was naive enough to believe that all the churches at least believed some of the doctrine. About 6 or 7 years ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and I’ll admit it: I was angry at God. I finally turned to my mother’s family’s faith, Quakerism, and attended for about a year. It was lovely and peaceful, wonderful people; but it really seemed to be missing something. Not to put them down, but as they were trying to “make-up” a blessing ritual for a newborn, one they found from 200 years ago (Quakers traditionally do not practice ANY of the sacraments, so that confused me.) I found myself remembering the power of the LDS Priesthood and that we knew exactly what to do to bless these babies. I realized I missed the LDS Church and the next Sunday (four years ago), there I was. My only regret was waiting so long.

But back to your concerns – I totally understand how difficult it is when your child/children leave the Church (mine did.) I hope and pray, and it is a matter of contention between us because they like to give me a really hard time about it. They’ll argue and sometimes it’s difficult not to get drawn in (especially when one of my sons wants me to smoke pot (not legal here in Texas) for my MS. There is some ambivalence. If I left the Church, my family (all of them, not just my sons) would relate more to me; but I also feel that it’s my duty/privilege to be this family bridge into eternity. I hope my example will somehow influence them, and I am also very diligent in my family history and temple work – like I want to at least build this eternal family that will be waiting for me when I die.

I’m probably not helping you at all. Just keep the faith. We all have doubts; that’s a fact of life (and free agency!) Please don’t discontinue your membership, just wait a while. Does going to the temple help at all? I find so much peace and many answers there, so that’s just a thought. We care about you here, and we’re glad you reached out to us. Remember the three witnesses of the Book of Mormon – they left the Church, one or two came back, but none of them ever denied (even on their death beds) the truth of this Book.

Please take care and God bless