Home Page Forums General Discussion How do you like to be addressed at church?

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  • #208763
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I’m curious, how do you like to be addressed at church by ward or stake leadership? Do you prefer “Brother / Sister” or your first name?

    Very deep question I know, but in my ward it seems that some people always use the formal Brother / Sister vs. first name. I personally prefer calling everyone by their 1st name except the bishop or stake presidency if they are visiting.

    #284315
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I lean more towards the first name deal. Yes the Bishop gets Bishop because I think it helps set his role apart. Not the man, but the role. Everyone else to me is a first name.

    Yes – I get annoyed when a friend or someone I consider a friend, says, “Sister …” to me.

    My Bishop growing up encouraged everyone to use the early church style in addressing each other. It was cool. Brother Bob, Sister Kate, even Bishop Paul. I wish the church would adopt that style. It’s friendly and courteous at the same time.

    #284316
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I lean toward first name as well, and I do like the old “Brother but don’t usually encounter it. My friends in the church do use my first name, and I do think I would be annoyed at them if the called me Brother Jedi – too formal. I also generally agree with addressing the bishop or SP by title when they are in that capacity. Actually what annoys me most is when someone who I don’t particularly know or care for addresses me as brother in a very familiar way, as if we really are. FWIW, my bishop refers to and addresses everyone as brother or sister and that’s one of the things I don’t like about him – too impersonal.

    #284317
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I was just talking about this the other day.

    Nothing says “I don’t know you” quite like saying “Brother

    I could be wrong but didn’t the whole Brother/Sister xyz thing have its origins in wanting our communications with each other to be more intimate? Today it’s anything but, it’s far too formal for my tastes.

    I don’t hold it against people, it’s the culture and I’m the one that would have to advertize that I prefer to be called by my first name.

    #284318
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “Hey You” works for me! I wish people would just call me by my first name. Even though its been almost 10 years, most people still call me Bishop :?

    #284319
    Anonymous
    Guest

    This is a very interesting question because in a microcosm, it represents so much of our squirming position in relation to the Church. I don’t want to get all philosophical, but really this question is no different from our frustrations of the words people use in testimony meeting, how THEY interpret the “abrahamic test”, whether they wear white shirts, or how they arrive and making a calling.

    IMO, we shouldn’t ask “how would I like to be addressed”. We should only ask “how do I like to address other people”. I can control whether I call someone “Sister Brownstone” or “Missy”. I can’t really control how they refer to me. If I decide that I don’t want to be called “Brother Now”, then I will subconsciously condition myself so that every time somebody calls me that, I’ll cringe and feel resentment. However, if I call everyone by their first name, pretty soon, they’ll start calling me by my first name.

    Although this seems like a pretty unimportant question, I do believe that in all things Church, it is a good idea to worry about the way we ourselves behave and not worry so much about the way others act.

    #284320
    Anonymous
    Guest

    So much depends on the particulars. I have a lot of affection for “brother” and “sister.” Day in and day out, I tend to use and prefer first names, but sometimes there is nothing I want to hear more than “Sister ….”

    #284321
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I would rather be called by my first name, e.g. Brother J***, or Sister B***. It’s much more intimate and seems to hearken back to the early church. I once asked someone in my current ward if they knew the first name of a person who they associated with in the ward for years, and they didn’t know anything but the last name. What a shame.

    I wonder how much of the Brother Last Name and Sister Last Name has to do with teaching children to show respect to adults by calling them by their last name.

    #284322
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I vastly prefer first names.

    Inside the church, it just feels archaic to me, like we’re Mennonites or something.

    Outside the church, I really hate the use of brother/sister, because it inadvertently or not so inadvertently becomes a means of identifying you as ‘in the club’ and automatically placing others ‘outside.’

    #284323
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Depends how well someone knows me.

    I can’t stand the present use of Christian names by everyone everywhere. If I go into a shop or a bank, I don’t want everyone calling me by that. I don’t know them.

    A friend of mine had the police visit his building, and they actually addressed him by first name when they visited his apartment. Which is pretty rude.

    #284324
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I like “Oh great and hallowed volunteer” :) Just kidding… Failing that,my first name as a distant second. Just kidding. My first name is what I like to be called, but I have to confess, It’s convenient to call someone Brother [lastname] when you are not good with names. For some reason, I am not, and I have to rely on that a lot.

    For youth, never call them Brother [lastname] or Sister [lastname]. Use their firstname.

    For Bishops and SP, I would called the with their administrative titles out of respect for the inordinate amount of time they put into their callings. After they leave the calling, I prefer calling SP and BP’s by their first name as they are no longer in office and it can be confusing to others to have someone called Bishop so and so when they aren’t a Bishop any longer.

    #284325
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ‘Your Serene Highness’ works just fine for me. ;)

    #284326
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I always go by my first name. When new missionaries arrive they use Brother XYZ once or twice but soon catch up.

    I usually call the branch president by his first name. But that’s partly because he’s one of my best friends. I try to remember to call him “president XYZ” in formal settings.

    #284327
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I try to use whatever wording is appropriate for the occasion, but, generally speaking, as a default, I use first names.

    This might interest you, since I’ve written about pretty much every topic imaginable on my personal blog at some point over the last eight years. It’s a bit of a tangential association with the title question, but it illustrates my point, I think:

    Why I Like the Jewish Custom of Not Using God’s Name” (http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-i-like-jewish-custom-of-not-using.html)

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