A Tough Recipe?

Thanks for the intro, and welcome.

I don’t remember Hunter very well. When I was baptized Benson literally only had a few weeks left. Hunter became the prophet but he was gone before I had a good foundation to really know what was going on. The turnover for prophets was concerning to me at the time. Thanks for sharing the story, now I have a nice story to associate with Hunter.

You think your post is long, you should see some of my ramblings… then someone else shows up and gets the same point across but even better and in like 8 words. 😳

The multiple first vision accounts is something I couldn’t reconcile. At first I thought I could. For about 6 month I actually had until I ran across something. When I was 15 years old my family was asked to sing in the choir for the dedication of the Bountiful temple. The dedication we sang in was the last time Howard W. Hunter made a public appearance and the last dedication he was at. My father and I were standing in the center of the choir when he was wheeled into the celestial room, he was placed directly in front of us. While we sang The Spirit Of God the Prophet took his hand and patted me on the knee, he did the same to my father. It’s something I will never forget. I remember the room, the weather outside, and the way the light shimmered though the windows… I’ve told this story in every Elders Quorum meeting I’ve been in. Every person I’ve know has pretty much heard this. About a month ago I re-read this experience in my journal and realized 20 years later I’m still telling this story the exact same way I experienced it as a 15 year old. Yet the Prophet couldn’t get his account of the most significant moment of our history straight? Am I missing something?

Hi, Agaetis – Thanks for the introduction. I don’t know why some people are bothered by this and others aren’t. (I am.) And someone else would say, Look, what really matters is that experience you and your dad had in the temple. But it doesn’t work that way for me. Sorry I have no advice, but you’ve come to a good place to discuss. Glad you’re here. :wave:

Welcome. I think you will fit in well here.

The multiple first vision accounts is something I couldn’t reconcile.

I have come to a similar conclusion about this and many other aspects of the Church. Good people here at stayLDS have helped me see that there are still positive aspects to membership (many more than I was willing to admit to myself as I went through feelings of anger, betrayal, etc.). I hope you find these boards as therapeutic as I have. Welcome!

Welcome. I’m not sure what you’re really asking, if anything, but I hope we can be of help to you.

As far as Joseph Smith goes for me, I believe he had a significant spiritual experience and thus was a prophet. I honestly don’t care about much of the other stuff, and I think he made much of it up. It’s not a temple recommend question, I don’t dwell on it.

Ha, you’re right, I never asked a real question.

I’m convinced I’ve become a non-believer. But I’m worried that decision may be an emotional response to what I’ve read, and I just need a “cool your jets” period to calm down and think more logically. My main concern, and where I could use some advice, is how this new dynamic will effect me and my wife. She’s completely fine with me partaking in the sacrament, baptizing our son, and doing temple work – even if I believe it’s fruitless. Right now I feel okay with that, I enjoy the ward, and I travel enough for work that I won’t be noticed when I’m gone. But if I just left the church she would feel a level of shame, I understand this, but wouldn’t feel the same. I’ve had enough conversations over the past few months with my parents to know they can see my path, and I’m sure it rolled off their backs minutes after the thought hit their mind.

My wife won’t leave me, she won’t act miserable, but she doesn’t ask for much and give so much. I feel I owe her this but I’m worried the deception will hurt her in the end. Thoughts?

Agaetis, one of the most common pieces of advice we give here is to take it slow. Would you mind sharing how long you’ve been going through this process? Personally I was more or less cornered into “faking it” because I promised my wife when we got married that I would always attend church with her despite my concerns and reservations. I willingly made the promise, but keeping the promise forced me to go through the motions a lot of the time when I didn’t feel like it. Ten years later, I’m glad I did even though it was emotionally draining and very troubling at times. I didn’t do everything—I stopped paying tithing and taking the sacrament, and I turned down callings. But I have been there sitting next to her every week, I’ve been in the nursery helping to calm down our kids and even subbed a few times, I’ve gone to choir practice and sung with the choir (I love singing), and I’ve been at the ward activities. There may be a balance you can strike between “faking it” and abstaining from certain things that make you uncomfortable or that you can’t reconcile right now. I’ve also learned to look for many of the benefits of being in church despite a lack of personal belief—the community, the (mostly) good values taught, the family unity. Several of us here have baptized our children despite reservations or outright lack of faith. I have a few threads on that topic from when I first joined this forum. It was the crisis point that drove me to look for solutions and led me to this site, for which I’m so grateful. I’m glad you’re here. Hopefully we can help each other out.

Agaetis, one of the most common pieces of advice we give here is to take it slow. Would you mind sharing how long you’ve been going through this process? Personally I was more or less cornered into “faking it” because I promised my wife when we got married that I would always attend church with her despite my concerns and reservations. I willingly made the promise, but keeping the promise forced me to go through the motions a lot of the time when I didn’t feel like it. Ten years later, I’m glad I did even though it was emotionally draining and very troubling at times. I didn’t do everything—I stopped paying tithing and taking the sacrament, and I turned down callings. But I have been there sitting next to her every week, I’ve been in the nursery helping to calm down our kids and even subbed a few times, I’ve gone to choir practice and sung with the choir (I love singing), and I’ve been at the ward activities. There may be a balance you can strike between “faking it” and abstaining from certain things that make you uncomfortable or that you can’t reconcile right now. I’ve also learned to look for many of the benefits of being in church despite a lack of personal belief—the community, the (mostly) good values taught, the family unity. Several of us here have baptized our children despite reservations or outright lack of faith. I have a few threads on that topic from when I first joined this forum. It was the crisis point that drove me to look for solutions and led me to this site, for which I’m so grateful. I’m glad you’re here. Hopefully we can help each other out.

I’ve had the belief since I can remember that if I ever felt Mormonism was not true, that there was no God. It was a form of extremism to keep my head straight. About 10 years ago I moved to Denver for school. While there I met a group of friend, all of whom where atheists and I still stay in contact with today. The first year I was in school I spent it inactive and strayed a bit, nothing excessive, more of an experimental phase. That quickly ended and I felt the need to return to church. My first day in the singles ward I met my wife. Once we moved into a family ward my faith felt strong. Our ward was full of converts and to be honest I don’t think I had met a convert in my SLC ward. We had to drive 20 minutes to get to the chapel not walk across the street. The congregation had lawyers, nurses, mechanics, janitors, doctors, bankers, and borderline homeless. I’d grown up in a ward where once you turned 16 your parents handed you a key to new SUV. Economically our ward was mixed and felt like a real community that needed each other. I have yet to say one word to our bishop in our current ward and we’ve been there a year. He seems a very nice man and a few weeks ago he gave an amazing lesson in elders quorum.

In January of 2013 I took a job opportunity with my company to move our family back to Utah (the wife’s family is from Park City). What got this ball rolling, and what I’ve already eluded to, is I’m a wealth manager that works for a financial institution across from church headquarters. That job put me in a position that made me uncomfortable, so I asked to be reassigned. *Please don’t ask further, it’s something I’m legally not allowed to discuss*. Since then it’s been downhill. The beginning of February of this year I got a hold of the CES Letter which has pretty much sealed the deal… for now.

I too have made that promise to my wife. I will always sit next to her in church.