Family First

Were you happy in your branch? If you take out the temple, do you like the teachings and theology of the LDS Church?

Quite a few people have a hard time with the temple, for lots of different reasons. It is radically different than our wards and branches and just doesn’t resonate with some people. If you like the “regular church experience” and the basic teachings but not the temple, don’t go to the temple.

Also, people talk about the temple being the closest things to Heaven, but it doesn’t have to be seen that way. I love it, personally, but I prefer normal interaction with people in real life more. To me, Zion is about real life, not a symbolic, interactive play – as much as I personally enjoy the play. Again, if you don’t like the play, don’t go.

Following up on Ray’s comments, I don’t necessarily see the temple as anything like what heaven is really like. There are many more things I would like to spend eternity doing than sitting in a quiet room with nice furnishings. I do love the symbolism of the temple, though, but I agree with Ray – if you don’t get into the whole temple thing, just don’t go, there really is no requirement to go again after you have been endowed and sealed or whatever.

The temple is only part of the issue, though (“It is not that simple”). I was away from church for a long time and also had a hard time being “aggravated” by some people at church, and I still do struggle with it a bit. Generally speaking, I simply try to ignore those that bother me. I usually start out listening to the sacrament meeting talk, and if it’s off base with my own beliefs, I tune it out and do something else – like read scriptures or do my own research on the topic myself. I generally skip Sunday School, and sit by the door if I do go – likewise, I read scriptures or something if things are getting carried away or sometimes I just leave (hence sitting by the door). It can be done, but it does take a concerted effort.

Also, I have come to see people as all being at different places on their faith journeys and all being different in their levels of understanding, largely due to this site. Therefore I try to be charitable and try to look at them from that point of view. Just because they see things differently doesn’t necessarily make either of us right or wrong – just different from each other.

So, as Ray said, if you think you can stomach your Spanish branch if you leave out the temple (surely they talk about many other things), give it a try. It sounds like your step daughter would be going to Gospel Principles if she went – that class can be easier to take and can be more open to alternative viewpoints. Or maybe you’ll just want to go to Sacrament Meeting then leave.

Thank you Ray AND DarkJedi for your help. I think I will give the church another try and do as suggested. Try to ignore the things I don’t like (including the temple) and focus on what I do like. For the most part, the people in my branch are nice. And, honestly, most of them are fairly accepting of different beliefs as most were brought up believing much more radical things. They just make sure the leadership is gringo or coconut to keep all the crazy beliefs out of what is accepted or what is allowed to be discussed.. okay I’ll stop now

But that is a good idea – plus I have a toddler so I have a built in excuse to leave meetings whenever I feel like. Thank you Heavenly Father for sending me a baby in my hour of need

I feel the pressure mostly from the talk of eternal families. I am probably creating the problem myself. But eternal families are because of the temple and.. I hate the temple. I am not worthy or willing to go again – am I still going to be with my family? From the LDS stand point, I think the answer is no. I will probably be an a-sexual terrestrialite as I did not keep my covenants.

Yes, having children is sometimes a godsend when you desperately need to get out of a meeting. I’ve used that excuse many, many times. I feel some of your pain on the temple issue. I don’t have a personal problem with the temple, but my wife and I were not married in the temple. That makes for many uncomfortable situations where people assume something about you that isn’t true, just because you happen to be at church wearing a white shirt and tie with your wife and kids. (For example, in a conversation about how long you’ve been married, someone might innocently but presumptuously ask: “Which temple did you get married in?” My reply: “Uh, none. We got married in a church.” Awkward silence.) A lot of temple-talk also puts pressure and guilt on both me and my wife—my wife because she wants to be sealed in the temple but can’t thanks to me, and me for feeling like I’ll never be good enough for her in that way and never fully accepted by other members for what must be an obvious lack of faith or desire to sin. I just try my best to let it roll off my back.

Hi, harmon-y. I hope giving the church another try will work out for you and your family.

I first went through the temple 17 years ago, just before my mission. I thought it was pretty bizarre and it just didn’t make sense. I have attended sessions very rarely since then. Recently I believed Joseph Smith and Brigham Young borrowed stuff from Masons and made up other stuff and that it was not of God.

I reckon going to church will probably be a better experience for you if you don’t hate the temple. Maybe my experience might be of some benefit to you. I recently posted some information about temples HERE. It is clear to me now that the following were taught or practiced in the early Christian church:

-baptism for the dead

-washing and anointing

-being clothed in holy vestments

-covenant making

-the use of signs and tokens

This had led me to believe in temple ordinances to an extent. I went through an endowment session last Saturday – the first time doing so in a couple years. It’s still a bit strange, but that’s okay – graduation robes and uniforms for some professions are also strange. I see it all differently now and I hope you check out that thread.

Any suggestions for going to back to church without letting anger/resentment enter your heart? Or at least flushing it out quickly

A couple of thoughts… dont feel guilty about not going to the temple. Im in a church calling that would surprise people if they knew how long it had been since I’ve done an endowment session. I get bored and I can’t spare 4 hours with the travel and changing clothes.

When I feel overwhelmed by church (or work or family for that matter) I get away by exercising, for me – running – during which I try to think about something else. Maybe there is something to help you blow off steam.

Harmony-e you asked about working through your feelings with the temple. Only you can do that, but a couple of scripture references point to the idea of doing things when it is best for us. In the Bible we have Ecclesiastes admonition – “To everything there is a season, a time and a purpose.” From the D & C, and the mouth of Joseph Smith the injunction “To not run faster than we are able.” Both of these references support the idea that none of us can do everything, even if we want to – in your case if isn’t a good time, then you can be at peace.

Yes your ward or stake maybe very focused on it. I know mine is, we even have this shameful activity where the ward mission leader comes into Relief Society once a month and asks for a show of hands from people who took family names to the temple during the month. He counts the publicly raised hands, writes down the number and thanks us. Why we need the public pressure of raised hands is beyond me? Wouldn’t a sign up sheet be just as good? The first week it really irritated me, but then I realized my temple worship is mytemple worship. If I died tomorrow my Stake President wouldn’t be held accountable for what I did or didn’t do. If I have family whose work I didn’t do I need to repent to them or maybe not – I alone get to do that. It’s mine. I own it. And right now is not my season. Am I working on an eternal family. You bet. I just choose right now to work with the living. In the past I have worked with the dead, and may again some other time. Just not now.

Take Hawwkgrrls advice. You went through, you have promises you have made in your heart and at various alters and waters. Work on those. Truly, if Mormonism is spot on, you have all eternity to complete more temple dates.