Continuation of Brian Johnson’s recent post

Seems like you answer your own question. If you know you will be released from the part you like by speaking out, and that’s not what you want, don’t speak out. My SP and bishop are aware I have questions and doubts, they do not know anything specific. I hold a stake calling that I like. Mine leaders are satisfied as long as I can answer the TR questions appropriately, knowing that I answer them with nuance. I am sure that things would be different if I stated support of OW (I don’t support OW, BTW) or something similar over the pulpit. As to LGTB, I do believe we need to be inclusive of LGBT members and I do believe the tent is big enough – I can safely say that and I can personally support SSM – however I don’t think I would get away with advocating a change in church policy from the pulpit. Due to leadership roulette, I can’t speak to what your leaders might tolerate.

^ great advice Ray, thanks

There are many ways to handle it, no?

1) Keep it bottled in and put up a façade.

2) Just be yourself and let a local leader come to you if they feel you’ve done something out of line.

3) “Come out” to your local leaders.

4) I think Brian took it a step further than that didn’t he? He talked to his local leaders and even requested a disciplinary council. That’s a bit bold but it did leave no doubt as to whether he was welcome when it was all over with.

I started out with #3, I then moved to #1, and am transitioning to #2:

I took my doubts to a local leader when I still felt like I could salvage my beliefs and I still felt like a BP/SP was an ecclesiastical leader that was “over” me. Much like Brian, I had an excellent local leader at the time and I don’t think the church would have any problems whatsoever with doubters feeling like they weren’t welcome if more leaders were like him. That said I did get the impression that I would be put in a corner (hymn book passer outer) if I continued much further down that path.

I found staylds, decided I should take it a bit slower, and put up a façade. So what does that mean? I don’t tell lies, claim to believe things that I do not believe, rather I simply keep my beliefs to myself. It calls for a lot of silence or nuanced comments at times but it worked for a while.

Now I feel like I’m transitioning to being myself and not worrying about what happens. If the local leaders come to me and tell me that I’m not welcome I’m at a place right now where I think I’d be okay with that. The thing that’s steering me in this direction is that I no longer want to procrastinate, I don’t want to let fear of an imagined outcome prevent me from being my genuine self. If god has a plan for me, if my FC/FT had a purpose, I’d do well to embrace my path and see where it takes me, to see what lessons I can learn while traveling the path.

It’s funny how life is full of little coincidences; maybe I was searching for meaning and found it or maybe god put me on the path but… I recently asked to be released. While waiting to talk to the BP I decided to flip through an Ensign and the first presidency message was by Uchtdorf. There was a line at the very end:

An old proverb says, “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.”

That spoke to me. Funny that at the time I read that article in preparation for asking for a release I had recently completed 20 years of being a member of the church. I took that to mean that planting the seed of baptism had made me the tree I am today. I was planting another seed that day, what tree will grow out of that seed come 20 years? One thing that stood out to me was that I was only able to get that kind of insight because of the path I was on: a member of the church reading a magazine that leaders and other faithful members had sacrificed to produce. It was a small witness to continue the path I’m on and to find insight where I may.

I don’t know where I was going with all that other than to say I’m growing more and more confident in being me. Best of luck to you on your path.

However, if I come out, I am certain I will be released and called as ward librarian or “hymn book passer outer”.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I would not come out. There is too much risk involved. Coming out might be therapeutic and authentic in the moment, but then, there will be an aftermath. You’ll be released, forced to jump through hoops to be in the “in group” again, etcetera. I would leave it alone, and enjoy those aspects of your callings that are enjoyable. But let’s not forget to rock the boat without sinking the ship! That might inspire slow change.