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I really don’t know why, but no matter what I try I just can’t seem to find my grove with the gospel. I’ve posted a few questions on here already saying how I’ve been struggling with my faith and stuff and how not being able to go on a mission due to medical reasons has damaged it as well. And also how I go to my family ward since the singles ward I’m supposed to go to is full of clicks and stuff like that. So I really feel like I don’t exist anymore, just since the new bishop we got hasn’t been made much aware by my previous bishop who’d meet with me a few times a month about my situation I’m in. And then there goes the fact that I’m basically struggling with my belief in God and not even sure if he’s real anymore. I don’t even pick up my scriptures at night nor have a I prayed in so long. And then there’s this girl who I’ve been trying to get over and that’s making me very depressed and whatnot. And to top it all off, I struggle with things like Pornography and stuff. I really honestly use that to relieve my depressive thoughts and whatnot. I also will down a few Red Bulls or Monsters to just help with that depression, they just make me feel better for some reason. Maybe it’s because Caffeine in that form is like a drug, I don’t know. I am transferring to a University this Spring, so at the start of 2015 so I’m seriously hoping that things will get better for me and stuff. I still live at home, by the way. I find I only go to church for an hour every Sunday. I am a primary teacher, I teach the 11/12 year old boys. However, there’s 2 other teachers in their so I really never want to go. Also, I’m horrible at teaching the gospel. I mean, why should I tell these kids how they should live their lives while I can’t even keep some of those commandments myself? I don’t know, I just feel like crap and am tired of it! I know, I’m seriously the only one who can change it, but still. It’s just getting worse and worse with me and whatnot. I feel like a girlfriend will solve things, but at the same time that seems like too much at the moment and that I just need to and should focus on school. I’ve never had a girlfriend before though. haha.
I see all these other people I know who seem to be so happy with life right now. They’re getting married, getting full time jobs and stuff and having kids. Yeah, some of these people are younger than me or right around my age (I’m 20). I tend to compare myself a lot to other people as well.
Honestly, I’ve thought about ending my life many many times. But I haven’t, mostly because I don’t even have the guts to.
One more thing, my Psychologist set me up with some Anti-Depressants, just FYI.
Continue to see the therapist, and take your medication as long as you need to do so. Depression is a serious issue, and your situation is serious. All we can do here is offer support for you as you struggle to try to find your place, your own faith, self-acceptance, etc. We will give that gladly and freely, but you really do need to continue to get the professional help you need.
God bless you in that journey.
I think getting away from your home and on your own will help with this situation. If you can hang in there until that happens, I think things might look up a bit. A lot of your issues seem to stem from being in your home town and seeing a lot of your friends return from missions. Good luck. I understand depression and how awful it can be. Prayer helps calm the spirit — approach it independent of any church expectations and influence, and simply focus on your relationship with God. It used to provide me with comfort when I relied on prayer to help me with the depression and anxiety I felt as a young adult. Hi there, It seems like many of the issues you’re dealing with could be due to the depression. I’ve been there and it helps to have a good counselor and medication if needed. Prayer and faith can both be an important part of healing but usually depression takes professional help to be controlled or cured. Support groups can also help. Newlife Ministries is a Christian based organization that specializes in everything from depression and anger to pornography addictions. Everyman’s Battle and Healing is a Choice are both part of that group. They are very good at helping individuals heal. Depression can warp our perspectives and I’ve found it easier to feel God when my depression is under control. I wish you the very best as you work through this.
willb1993, Others have offered great advice.
We are here to help in whatever way we can as an informal support group. I think that if you can get away from the current situation, that might help.
Also realize, all those people who appear to be happy (and they probably are to some extent) are also dealing with their own issues. They may not be as external, but everyone has stresses and fears and concerns. I’m almost hitting the top of the hill and I don’t have anything figured out yet. I am a late bloomer, as they say, and it took a while to get my bearings. My point being, it’s Ok that you don’t have everything figured out yet either.
Old-Timer wrote:Continue to see the therapist, and take your medication as long as you need to do so. Depression is a serious issue, and your situation is serious.
All we can do here is offer support for you as you struggle to try to find your place, your own faith, self-acceptance, etc. We will give that gladly and freely, but you really do need to continue to get the professional help you need.
God bless you in that journey.
AmenIf you are trying different things & you’re still going downhill, try something else. If that doesn’t work, try something else.
Try something else until you feel some kind of improvement.
There are lots of options.
If you have depression, realize it is common & there are various treatment options.
Only a professional who knows you, can diagnose & help you with a treatment plan.
If they can’t help you, (wait for it) try someone else.
Depression can be serious or a temporary situation.
I know a number of people who have gotten through it successfully.
You can too. I wish you the best.
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