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Hello to all. I tried to put this statement in the ‘why be here’ topic. I joined the Church in the Spring of 1983. By 1985 I was inactive, and focused on my 12-Step path. I became active in 1990, and by 1993 I asked that my name be removed.This request was honored. This was again because of conflict between the Church’s idea of being ‘worthy’, and the 12-Step idea that I am good enough right where I am in my program. In December of 2008, I was approached by the Missionaries. I suggested that they go talk to their Mission President, because I had been ex-communicated. The day after Christmas that year the missionaries stopped by to see how I was doing, holidays and such. The fact that they inquired into my ‘being’ buy asking how I was doing, rang a bell for me. the second week of January 2009 I saw them in the neighborhood, and ask them in. We had a good conversation, which lead to me becoming active again. About 14 months later, I received the “Restoration of Blessings”. The ward I was in was really great. In 2011 the unit split, and I found myself in a branch that the high majority of the members were linked by blood or marriage. I found myself in a group of “outsiders”. the Branch ran great when the ‘clique” is leadership. When it is not, there is almost no support of the leadership, except for the group of ‘outsiders’. The biggest issue I have, being 65, unmarried for 25 years, and have no family in the Church or here locally, only adds to my ‘outsider-ness’. By example, in the past 5 years I have been invited to “a place at their table” by maybe 5 families. The branch, as a whole, as nothing to do with members outside the 3 hour meeting on Sunday, and if one does not take care of their callings. The ‘clique’ is so ‘tied up’ with family, that they appear to not care about non-family. The fruit of their tree seems to be producing fruit that is not of good quality.
I have been a ‘student’ of history, reading both members and non-members, and find some very disturbing information, which only adds to my relationship with the Church, with the Branch, and with the general membership locally. On Ya! FYI, the nearest of 30 single adult groups are over 4 hours away, so that doesn’t help.
Thank for reading thru all of this, and thank you in advance for your comments and insight, Wm.
:crazy: Welcome. Quote:I found myself in a branch that the high majority of the members were linked by blood or marriage.
That. Can. Be. Extremely. Difficult.
Maybe we can be your place of refuge where you no longer are an outsider. I hope we can help.
Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I once was involved in a small ward that sounds very much like your branch, and it is indeed challenging. It is sad that some wards are so loving and open while others are so exclusive. I feel for you. Any chance of just plain moving? It’s tough when there are cliques in a Ward. And our policy of not being in full fellow ship unless you attend your local Ward doesn’t make it any easier. Hopefully you’ll find friends here.
Welcome wmj, is there any chance that the “outsiders” can form their own clique? I joined the church in a small ward. It was a very welcoming & inclusive group.
It could at times feel claustrophobic.
This is a good place to exchange ideas.
Welcome new kid, I too have experienced this. I have been in wards were I was regularly invited into other’s homes for food and games (I was an insider).
I have been in wards were this seems to never happen … at least to the outsiders.
Perhaps the perspective changes mightilly depending on whether you find yourself as a outsider or an insider. Don’t get me wrong – I’m sure that there are some wards that are just caustic.
At the same time I wonder if the members of the inside crew don’t recognise a need to be more inclusive because all their needs seem to be being met from inside the group.
Just a thought.
Quote:I wonder if the members of the inside crew don’t recognise a need to be more inclusive because all their needs seem to be being met from inside the group.
This.
:thumbup: I love HT now, but I grew up in a small, Utah town surrounded by extended family. I participated in HT but didn’t have any kind of testimony of or love for it. It wasn’t until I started visiting widows who were SO appreciative of the company and concern that I began to see it for what it is supposed to be.
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