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Some of you know my family started attending a different Ward. One that we don’t live in, that is about 35 minutes away in good traffic. We had to leave our Ward due to a variety of factors I won’t go into. My daughter has thrived there. My wife fills in as substitute teacher. I have not lifted a finger to do anything in the Ward (and I like it). My son can take it or leave it. It’s been a good arrangement as the church’s own policies have kept me from having to serve in callings I don’t like, or would want to refuse. This is because the Ward doesn’t have our records since we don’t live there.
We used the fact that my work has moved me close to that Ward as the reason for attending. Then my work delayed the permanent relocation, indicating they may even move closer to the ward. So, I’ve been milking that reason of unstable but hopeful local employment for 18 months. They ask every 6-8 months if the work situation has stabilized, and I keep indicating that its frustrating, but my work keeps delaying the decision so I’ve been hestitating to commit to buying a home in the area.
I think they are tired of the excuse and their patience is wearing thin.
Today, they told us they wanted us to “volunteer as much as possible”. My wife will help out with my daughter’s weekly youth activities, and me — The Bishop asked me how i felt about Sunday assignments and I indicated no, using my PhD studies as an excuse (teaching right now would be really painful for me). So, he wants me to help out with social activities.
Essentially, the message was “if you’re not going to commit to the Ward by living here, we want you to be contributors”.
I’m a bit sad as the arrangement has worked out well for our family until this point. This season of Mormon vacation appears to be ending, and will heat up even further when my son is of Aaronic Priesthood age in January. He doesnt’ want the priesthood, so that will open up another can of worms.
It isn’t unreasonable to want you to contribute in some way, especially if you are members of the Church. In fact, not being able to do so was a source of concern for you when you first started on this journey, if I remember correctly. (not that you want a heavy calling, but just that you wanted your family to be able to be more involved) It sounds like they are comfortable with you attending and want to find ways to let you be more involved, even it can’t be with formal callings. If you set necessary limits on what can and can’t be done (especially if you proactively consider what things you can do and talk with the Bishop about those things), I think you can make this a productive, good thing. It’s not like they can ask you to accept a major leadership calling, anyway, right?
🙂 You’re right — it’s not an unreasonable request. And what they are asking isn’t heavy. It was more of a concern (the inability to contribute) for my wife and daughter than for myself however, when we first started attending. Looks like my wife got her wish. (She has been teaching on and off, however since day 1). I told the Bishop I don’t mind doing “operational things” like helping with social activities. In a way, after the tons of committees I’ve led in the last year, the many projects and the 15 hours/week I’ve put into the non-profit substitute for church service, being able to just show up and take a simple assignment while someone else does all the leadership shouldn’t be all that bad.
I think I got a little soft this last 1.5 years, however. It was nice being a benchwarmer. I assume they will eventually ask me to help with Deacon’s quorum activities when my son turns 12 in the next year, which is also not unreasonable.
I’m actually at the point I wouldn’t mind going back to my home Ward now that most of the families have left and they already know me for what I am there. But there is no way my family would agree to it.
Quote:I’m actually at the point I wouldn’t mind going back to my home Ward now
Life is fascinating. That statement above illustrates perfectly why absolute, long-term vows when frustrated usually aren’t good things.
You have come a long way down the path, SD. Seriously, being ready to return to your home ward is something I thought I would not hear you say. I don’t think the ward you are attending is being unreasonable, either, and in fact I think they’re trying to make your family feel more at home. I think it’s natural to want to help out the ward you attend. Oh that you lived where I do – where you go to church seems to matter far less in this galaxy far far away (from Salt Lake).
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