- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
OK so if many of you know, I’m really not on the best path right now in life. I wasn’t able to serve a mission and all that jazz due to medical issues. But I think I’ve really lost my testimony. I feel horrible now that I think of it! I just feel so stupid and pathetic! Anyways, I’ve been sexting my bestfriend. We both want to have sex with each other, but know that’s risky. So we get that out by sexting each other. Like we’ve been sending each other nudes and it’s been getting really out of hand and stuff. I’m not worried about her showing other people my pictures because she deletes them after we sext and same for me. But I don’t know. I just feel like a really horrible person. And don’t really know what I should do now…She’s LDS as well. We’re just both Members who really don’t fit in. She’s a very attractive girl though.
Know this first: You ARE NOT a horrible person. You’re doing something you’ve been told is wrong, so you’re feeling guilty, that’s all. My advice: Based on this and some of your past posts I’s say, get some counseling right away (like ASAP), preferably from a non-LDS therapist. We’re not therapists here and we don’t pretend to be. I have an opinion about what’s going on in your life, but I don’t know you and my opinion could be way off.
Seriously, find someone impartial and objective to talk to. You need to find that you have value as a person, because you do!
:thumbup: You’re going through a time of huge transition in your life and it will probably really help to find someone to help you work through that.I agree with MockingJay 100%. You are of immeasurable worth, and you need professional help to realize that and start adopting a positive view of yourself and your life. There is NO shame in that.We will do what we can, but find the help we can’t give. Agreed — God created us with these desires. You are worth a lot in the eyes of God. I would distance myself from the relationship. I know its hard, and the challenges you face in the church don’t make it any easier. But it will be better for your self-esteem in the long run if you abstain until marriage. I did that — abstained until marriage, and although things didn’t work out as I planned after marriage, I do respect myself for saving myself until marriage. That’s something you can take out, and look at with healthy pride for the rest of your life. Also, if you do have children some day, you’ll be able to tell them with integrity that you saved yourself for your eventual spouse. There is power in that.
Do whatever you need to do, in order to stay chaste until marriage. That’s my advice. And work a building your self-esteem. There is a great book called Getting to Know the Real You by Ellsworth and Ellsworth on Amazon that really helped me. It comes at self-esteem from a gospel perspective, but it’s not annoying. It’s uplifiting. Thanks for posting here with honest — it’s great to get to the real issues are facing. Something I find happens here more than in local contexts.
You are of great worth period. Have you thought about counseling or are you getting counseling now? I can suggest a group that works specifically with the issues you’ve mentioned. Every Man’s Battle and Women in the Battle are Christian workshops that help those who struggle with self esteem and sexual issues. You can google either one and find out about them. They are put on by New Life Ministries. This is what they do all the time and they help people understand that they’re not weak or bad. They don’t use guilt or shame. They help people heal their wounds. But even if you don’t choose them I hope you will take steps to work on your depression and self worth. Also, be careful with sexting. Even though you may delete the pics immediately they can still be retrieved. Been through this with high school students. willb1993 wrote:But I don’t know. I just feel like a really horrible person..
My advice is to try to learn something from this. A therapist is good to help you, but you can also analyze on your own why you feel so bad, and what you want to do about it:1) Talk to your friend. Does she know it makes you feel terrible? Would she be willing to stop doing it for a while to see if it helps make your relationship better? Her reaction might also tell you more about her.
2) Set boundaries and decide if you feel sexting is safe and good for you…as long as you never cross a boundary into the bad parts that you know are wrong. If you know this is wrong, stop it. If you are OK with this, but not having sex or other physical things, then set your boundaries and stick to it so you don’t induce more guilt.
3) Find out if for yourself you feel guilty because of years of being taught some things make you live in fear of being bad. Remember God is a God of Love, not fear, so let go of unfounded fears, and embrace the good things in life that are OK. Learn to let go of guilt and fear, without letting go of your conscience of right and wrong. If you feel it is wrong, stop it. If you feel it is just others telling you it should be wrong, then let go of that and search for yourself what is right and wrong between you and God.
You’re an adult now. You need to determine what you believe is right and wrong, and hopefully seek the spirit as you do so. Don’t just wish away guilt…pay attention to those signals and learn from it and be responsible for your actions. Just don’t blindly follow what others tell you your actions should make you feel like.
Also be smart…remember…it only takes one bad fight or misunderstanding, and you can’t control what others do with things you sent them in the past under better circumstances.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.