Can I Still Feel the Spirit?

I have only had one period where I felt like I struggled to feel the spirit. It started when I was just getting old enough to think about things like that – maybe about 11 or 12. And it has gone until now. So just that one period

I am very analytical, so I know that I chalk many things up to emotion that others seem to say they felt the spirit. Generally I have not ever been able to pray and get an answer. But having said that, I do look back on my life and I do feel that I am getting some guidance. And I do have one experience that my logical side can’t deny as it makes no sense why a thought came into my mind about something I didn’t know anything about and it was crystal clear. That one experience is probably what kept me from leaving the church in my faith crisis as the earlier experience was just before my mission. But I have never felt the spirit in the temple and I have had prayers go on for decades unanswered. It puzzles me as when I honestly look, I don’t think I see any sins. I think the biggest issue is I don’t exercise as much as I should/don’t eat as good as I should/and I drink caffeinated drinks. Looking at church history and how long the saints had the WOW, but were not held to it as a commandment it doesn’t logically make sense to me that my sinning should be blocking the spirit.

I do remember one of my most urgent pleas I had was in the middle of my faith crisis asking if God was telling me to leave the church. I certainly didn’t get a YES, but over time I have watched a few others leave and many that stay and I am certainly leaning way far to the “stay” side.

So that was a long answer to say, “yes – I too wonder why the spirit seems so distant.”

That’s a really good question. In this post I’ll try my best to be genuine to my past selves and not change my interpretations of past feelings based on my current beliefs. I lived a good portion of my life before I even knew there was such a thing as the spirit and there have been clear moments where I didn’t feel the spirit, clear moments where I did feel the spirit, and clear moments where I felt that I had lost connection with the spirit (which is different than not feeling the spirit IMO).

I’m a convert so “feeling the spirit” wasn’t something that I was raised on. The missionaries that taught me would constantly ask “How do you feel?” “Uh… okay, I guess.” I really didn’t know how to answer that question so I felt a little weird every time they asked. I think the Mormon culture is much more prone to expect feelings (good or bad) when they are exposed to religious teachings than the average person. How do you feel? Should I be feeling something? :think:

I could make this post long, and I mean really long. In the interest of not boring people to tears I’ll cut down on the details. If you want some details I don’t mind sharing.

I’d later come to connect with my feelings and attribute those feelings to the spirit and of course even later I’d later have doubts in the level of trust I had placed in those feelings. There were several scriptures (ironically) working for/against me. The principle one:

Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.

I saw the heart and the mind as the mouths of two or three witnesses, two in this case. Add another scripture (Isaiah 55:: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. This is how it played out over years and years.

1) Something would appeal to me intellectually.

2) I’d have what I considered to be a spiritual witness communicated by feelings.

3) Something wouldn’t make sense to me intellectually.

4) I’d rely on the spiritual witness until I could figure out god’s thoughts. Sometimes this would take years and years.

Recognize something there? That was me putting things on my shelf. The intellectual side was important to me, I couldn’t simply dismiss my questions because the answer to them would help me understand the thoughts of god.

Anyway, I went through that cycle for a long time. The intellectual side outstripping feelings. Feelings outstripping the intellect. I struggled to find balance because I felt both were necessary to establish truth. but they always appeared to be out of sync.

I’m not sure where I’m at right now. Maybe I’d say that instead of feeling like both are necessary I’d say that either are necessary. I have to connect to the spirit with whatever will maintain that connection for me in the moment. If only the heart is present, then the heart it is. If only the mind is present, then the mind it is.

I also may have greatly reduced how important it is to get at “truth” during the process. It’s not that I stopped caring about my pursuit of truth, it’s just that I now realize that it’s all about the pursuit. The pursuit is never meant to end, it can’t end, at least not in this life. I was so fixated on the outcome that I failed to recognize the effect that the process was having on me.

I’ve put aside, or shelved (?) my pursuit of a one true church but I still try to exercise a connection to the spirit in looking for symbolism that either speaks to my heart or mind. Either will do these days. I’m getting quite good at injecting symbolism, often where none exists.

I’ll brood over this one some more.

Why didn’t I feel anything? Did I ask in the wrong way? I really wanted to know, so why didn’t I feel anything? It makes me question even further. I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

Have any of you had a similar experience? What do you do to feel the Spirit?

There are no straightforward answers to your questions. And honestly I think that’s a good thing.

I don’t believe the Spirit is something that can be turned on and off depending on how much spiritual electricity we have wired up to the switch. In the church, we’re taught that the Spirit leaves us when we aren’t worthy for it, and that when we ignore it, it’s more difficult to detect, as if it’s a mental muscle we need to exercise like creativity or self-discipline (and maybe it is for some). While I’ve had personal experiences in my life where my feeling very distinct impressions, which I attribute to the Spirit, came during some of the most TBM periods of my life, I’ve noticed that throughout my life, no matter how spiritual or close to the Church’s orthodox teachings I’ve been, I’ve found some sort of guidance. It was usually in the form of coincidences, of outside reassurances and sources, with next to no accompanying “burning in the bosom.” And on reflection, it’s led me to believe that the Spirit isn’t the end all for how God and whatever fantastic laws govern the universe communicates with and helps us.

None of us have an answer on why you didn’t feel any powerful emotions or have an experience that you could attribute to the Spirit. Despite what we learn in the Church culture, I don’t believe there’s one single right or wrong way to feel the Spirit.

I don’t know if it will help, but here is one of my favorite quotes:

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

Switching that into spiritual terms, everybody can find guidance from God. But if you judge yourself by your ability to feel the Spirit in the same way and using the same process as the person sitting next to you, you will end up believing that you’re doing something wrong.

Not all of us can learn through feeling the Spirit. In recent times, I have imagined God more and more like a really great, wise parent. He knows how you learn. He gives us the best information we need according to our learning style. And then He trusts us to make an informed decision.

When I was going through my FC, before I started on my faith transition, there were many days where I begged and pleaded with God for an answer and for help. You know what? I don’t recall feeling what I identified as the Spirit even once. But I look back on the past few months and reflect on where I am now every once in a while, and I see the answers there, subtly hiding in the form of a quote that came right when I needed it most. In the views of a casual friend during a long drive. I don’t believe in coincidences. I do believe in logic and correlation. The God I believe in knows that.

I read through Rough Stone Rolling and got the feeling that Joseph could not tell at times the difference between his feelings and the spirit speaking to his spirit.

I figure…if he couldn’t always know that difference…I’ve got no shot at always discerning it.

Best I can do is use logic, reasoning, knowledge from scriptures and prophets, spiritual promptings, emotional impressions…and all my other faculties to try to have confidence I can be led to know what the Spirit is telling me to do.

It’s not a highly reliable process. I have to accept it. But I still have faith it is valuable to consider, among all other data points to consider in decision making.

Wonderful thoughts everyone

Looking at these posts has given me much more perspective- everyone feels the spirit in different ways and at different times. Not all of us have to experience the exact same feelings.

What would matter to God is whether people act with as much goodness and integrity as they can given their life’s circumstances.

+ 1

Looking at these posts has given me much more perspective- everyone feels the spirit in different ways and at different times. Not all of us have to experience the exact same feelings.

I think so too…it’s highly personal…which can be a blessing, but makes it messy, hence the need for Priesthood line of authority and personal line to maintain order.

I even wonder if there is a God or a Spirit…or if we just have these things inside us as humans. But I still can’t explain away some of my experiences…so I chalk it up to the mysteries of God and find it is usually a good thing to seek the Spirit and tap into the goodness in the universe…whatever that means.