Talk: Testimony of Light and Truth

I was assigned to give a talk today and thought I’d share it here. It was based on Uchtdorf’s talk this conference, Receiving a testimony of light and truth:

As a math teacher, my students often assume that I “know” math. But I don’t “know” math. I have studied and practiced enough math to be able teach it up to a certain level. I imagine that even the most brilliant minds would not tell you that they “know” math. I imagine that they would admit there is much they do not know and that they are constantly learning through study and application.

When I teach, if I give too much information at once, students get frustrated and often want to quit. I have to be careful to give it to them in manageable parts, enough that they are challenged, but not so much that they get discouraged or feel incapable.

We learn little by little, step by step, and there is always more to learn. My experience has been the same with spiritual knowledge.

President Uchtdorf gave some guidance in acquiring light and knowledge and nurturing the most precious gift of our testimonies.

First: Search the word of God.

Second: Ponder.

Third: Pray.

Fourth: Live the Gospel.

“First, you must search the word of God. That means reading the scriptures and studying the words of the ancient as well as modern prophets regarding the restored gospel of Jesus Christ—not with an intent to doubt or criticize but with a sincere desire to discover truth. Ponder upon the things you will feel, and prepare your minds to receive the truth.6 ‘Even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you … that ye can give place for [the word of God].’”

There is something about reading the scriptures that invites the spirit. Many times, I have read the scriptures and finished with a feeling of peace and a greater understanding of my relationship with God. Sometimes, I receive inspiration in solving a problem I have. Often, the inspiration comes because of what I learned from the reading, other times, the inspiration has apparently nothing to do with the passage of scripture I read, but because I invited the Spirit by reading, it was able to guide my thoughts.

“Second, you must consider, ponder, fearlessly strive to believe,8 and be grateful for how merciful the Lord has been to His children from the time of Adam to our day by providing prophets, seers, and revelators to lead His Church and help us find the way back to Him.”

It seems that most revelation comes in the quiet moments. This makes sense since we know that the Spirit speaks in a still small voice. I have gotten use to feeling so busy, it’s become almost uncomfortable to have an unoccupied mind. My instinct is to keep my mind occupied or distracted in someway. I feel the urge to always have a book in hand, a song playing, a movie on the TV, or browsing the internet. While these things are not bad, we need moments of quiet and stillness so that the Spirit has an opportunity to communicate with our minds. Most of the revelations I have received have come while taking a quiet walk, sitting at my desk thinking after having read the scriptures or written in my journal.

President Uchtdorf’s counsel to “fearlessly strive to believe” stuck out to me. And even now, I’m not quite sure what what he meant by it. But the fact that he says we should strive to believe tells me that belief is a choice.

We can’t judge others for what faith they do or don’t have. There is evidence for both. All we do is can do is make the choice for ourselves.

“Third, you must ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, to manifest the truth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unto you. Ask with a sincere heart and with real intent, having faith in Christ.”

About a year ago, I was talking with an investigator about his lessons with the missionaries. I asked him what he thought. He said he hadn’t made the decision to be baptized yet because he didn’t know if the Book of Mormon was true or not. He said how the missionaries invited him to read the book and to pray about it, but that he hadn’t finished reading it so he hadn’t prayed about it yet. My advice to him was, “Instead of reading the whole book and then praying, try reading a passage of scripture, ponder the principle it teaches, and then pray to know if THAT principle is true, and then look for opportunities to apply it life. Then, read another passage of scripture and pray about that one, continuing in this way until you can decide one way or another if he would believe or not.

My testimony has gone up and down, and taken many different shapes. In this season of my life, I don’t find myself praying to know whether or not the gold plates actually existed, or if there truly were great battles between people called Nephites and Lamanites. I find myself praying to understand what my relationship with God is, what I can do to serve Him and my fellow man, and how I can invite the Spirit into my home and create greater unity in my family. I have found answers to many of these questions in the Book of Mormon, and this has given me the strength to choose to believe that it has divine origins.

“There is also a fourth step, given to us by the Savior: “If any man will do [God’s] will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”10 In other words, when you are trying to verify the truth of gospel principles, you must first live them. Put gospel doctrine and Church teachings to the test in your own life. Do it with real intent and enduring faith in God.”

What effect does living the Gospel have on your life? My answer to this question allows me to choose belief over doubt. I have spent a considerable amount of time both striving to live the gospel, and trying to forget I ever knew it. For me, the answer is clear: I am happier. I have greater peace in my life. I care more. I love others more. I love myself more. This is what matters to me.

President Uchtdorf says, “If you will do these things, you have a promise from God—who is bound by His word11—that He will manifest the truth to you by the power of the Holy Ghost. He will grant you greater light that will allow you to look through the darkness and witness unimaginably glorious vistas incomprehensible to mortal sight.”

As I have followed these steps, as outlined by President Uchtdorf, I have felt the peace of the Spirit and have more confidently been able to make the choice to believe.

Before I close, I would like to highlight one more comment by President Uchtdorf:

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a place for people with all kinds of testimonies. There are some members of the Church whose testimony is sure and burns brightly within them. Others are still striving to know for themselves. The Church is a home for all to come together, regardless of the depth or the height of our testimony. I know of no sign on the doors of our meetinghouses that says, “Your testimony must be this tall to enter.”

I used to think that those who could bare their testimonies with absolute certainty were somehow more virtuous than those who couldn’t. My views on this have changed a bit. Now, I think of the person who cannot honestly say that she knows the gospel is true, yet still serves in her primary calling every Sunday. I think of the man who is struggling in her testimony but still does his home teaching every month. I think of the youth who may be uncertain that Joseph Smith was a prophet but still reads the Book of Mormon and is inspired by his revelations. I think of the father, who is having doubts about God’s existence, yet still gathers his family together to pray every night.

These people do not have a perfect knowledge, but they do have great faith and may have more light and knowledge than we, or they, realize.

Let us remember D&C 46:13-14, “To some it is given to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it is given to BELIEVE on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

I pray that we can be patient with ourselves and others as we strive to understand and live the Gospel.