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Hey everyone, I am giving a talk on FHE in a couple of weeks. Of many of the church programs I actually think FHE is a good idea. I think its good to dedicate time to your family, create space for everyone to get together, have family fun, family discussions. Now I don’t necessarily think you have to put on a shirt and tie and say a prayer and have a gospel discussion with the family.
But in preparing for my talk I am wondering if anyone has any good articles about the origins of FHE, if anyone has any articles or thoughts on social science data that talks about families spending time together, and lastly would love to get some great FHE stories from you all. Any FHE’s that stick out in your mind from when you were growing up or as parents attempting FHE (funny stories, disaster stories, success stories)?
My plan is to be very authentic about FHE in our home (it’s usually a disaster). Talk about the concepts of spending time together as a family. Talk about some of the history of FHE and bring in some outside research that talks about families spending time together. Share some stories (hopefully some from some of you!), talk about how it doesn’t have to be what we think it is or the pictures show it is, how we can adapt it and use it as is needed or fits our family schedule.
Thanks,
SBRed
SBR, this is a great talk. I think you can focus on many family studies that show the benefits of spending time together with kids, however that happens. Family dinners is repeatedly stated as important.
Here is one link with a summary…and many footnotes to research done.
http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/15/a-wise-investment-benefits-from-families-spending-time-together ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/15/a-wise-investment-benefits-from-families-spending-time-together I think you could very easily present the benefits of quality time together, and FHE is just one way, and can take many forms. The importance is time and caring for kids. Not necessarily Monday nights with a specific agenda, but any number of ways to be involved with kids, make fun, make memories, and share time with each other as a family in any way that works for the family.
Kids will remember it. It will strengthen bonds.
I agree that FHE is a good idea and one of the programs others really respect the church for emphasizing. We also have always emphasized the family dinner idea. Yes, there are evenings when it just isn’t going to work, like last night when my son had an away wrestling match and we got home at 9:30. BUT most of the time it really does work. I have nothing other than my own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs to substantiate its importance but I think our kids have turned out good and I think regular family dinner and activity played a part.
In the old days when we did FHE they generally were not lesson centered. Sometimes, maybe once a month or less, they were. We often did a fun activity together, sometimes a movie or whatever. Every third Monday then was library night. I have nothing against those who think FHE has to be a lesson of some sort every Monday – that’s just not how ours were. Again, I think our kids turned out pretty good. We did and do have gospel related discussion with our kids, but not on the prescribed Monday evening schedule. We do it when they or someone else brings something up or when we sense a teachable moment.
(Edited to fix typos)
Good thoughts, DJ. I have also found it very rewarding when kids are given the assignments (share a scripture, share a story, teach a lesson, be in charge of activity or treat), and not so much me as the parent doing it all and wanting them to be engaged.
Interestingly, just to go back to the link I provided…they listed 2 elements (with research) about religious services and benefits to raising kids.
Quote:– Children in families that participate in religious activities together are more likely to report seeing expressions of love and affection between their parents.
– Parents of families in which both the parents and children attend religious services are more likely to know their children’s social networks.
Doctrine or belief points aside, the religious activities as a family provide benefits.
Well, I feel like I’ve always had a disastrous FHE experience, but in theory, I love the program. The kids still ask if we can have a family game night. We were never big on lessons, mostly because it feels forced. I tried showing a John Bytheway video once and that was an epic fail: 1) it was greeted with open hostility by my kids, and 2) it was deadly dull – I mean really really bad. I didn’t realize that JB was so boring. It was like a not-very-entertaining seminary teacher. My kids are much too snappy-internet-age-short-attention-span-cynical for that. What has been a rousing success for us is that whenever there is a Daddy-Daughter thing, my son & I have Mother-Boy nights. We watch Arrested Development or Drunk History and go out for Rita’s or Froyo. Sometimes we play video games.
You might like a post I did this week on what constitutes “wholesome recreational activities.”
http://bycommonconsent.com/2015/01/07/wholesome-recreational-activities/ hawkgrrrl wrote:You might like a post I did this week on what constitutes “wholesome recreational activities.”
http://bycommonconsent.com/2015/01/07/wholesome-recreational-activities/ Great post! Loved it!
We’ve given ourselves enough wiggle room that we don’t feel like we’re “doing it wrong,” and I think that’s an important part of FHE, kind of owning it, accepting and loving your own family. In our case we have to accept that we never did and never will have FHE everyMonday night. We’re lucky to have it once a month. They’re pretty simple. Opening song, prayer, sharing/calendaring time, lesson, closing song, game and treat. We have some fun inside jokes now with alternative words to several Primary songs, and we’ve had a few memorable spiritual moments together. Some of our board and card games are really old by now and we like the nostalgia of that. Looking back I wish I had taken some of the considerable time I spent on callings and made FHE more of a priority. We have Family Home Evening many nights, just because we spend so much time together as a family. Since we aren’t shortchanging our kids in any way with the amount of time we dedicate to them, I have no problem with the fact that we haven’t had formal FHE in a long, long time. Old-Timer wrote:We have Family Home Evening many nights, just because we spend so much time together as a family. Since we aren’t shortchanging our kids in any way with the amount of time we dedicate to them, I have no problem with the fact that we haven’t had formal FHE in a long, long time.
That is another good point, Ray. We also spend a probably higher than average amount of time together, even if that is sometimes nothing more than watching our favorite show or a sporting event. I strongly believe in both quantity and quality.
Background on it. I believe Family Home Evening came to be in the 1940’s or 50’s. I remember reading that some where, as most things in our faith, it was an idea – by 1960 it became a mainstay. Nearly a commandment. It may have been the churches response to the radical movement of the times.
I was an elementary school student during the 1970’s, and FHE, as well as family time, were a big to do. During that time each family received a yearly manual. It was often dropped off by your home teacher or out in the lobby at church. The manual usually was thematic, with lessons and activities to support the theme. In the mid 80’s the church changed to making one large standard manual. You could order it from Deseret Book. It covered everything from spiritual lessons to home safety and fitness activities. FHE was often touted in GC talks and church magazine articles. By the 90’s it became a cottage industry with SAHM moms making lesson kits, complete with crafts, games, flannel stories and the perfect snack. Since the new century I have heard less and less of it over the pulpit and the zeal it once held has softened. Still encouraged, yes. But not such the pillar it was.
As an aside during the 1970’s the church also ran a series of T.V. ads entitled, “Family it’s About Time.” These too were part of the bracing for family being the center of Gods plan.
As always tell us how it goes. You will do great.
Well Sunbelt – You must have eaten your Wheaties, said your prayers, or just been a good boy because by total accident I found the origin of Family Home Evening. It began officially on Sunday February 14, 1937. It was introduced in a radio broadcast from KSL at 9:30 pm by Elder Claude Richards.
I can scan you the actual article about the broadcast if you PM me.
A couple of great quotes are in there,
Quote:The Home Evening is a weekly gathering in the home designed to promote those things, both spiritual and temporal, that are conducive to the well-being and happiness of the family.
Quote:Says the First Presidency in a recent letter, “In this day (1937) when socials, parties, dinners, business interests, etc. all tend to lead away from home associations, the adoption of a Home Evening is highly advisable.
*The broadcast was reprinted in the March 13, 1937 Deseret News.
Exceptional. You really do include everyone. I know your working through your point of view in life, but as a voice in the building you are inspiring. I wish continued opportunities. Thanks mom3. I really do think that all we need is love, and if we practiced a bit more of that (me included), the world would be a better place. What mom3 said. I would have loved to be able to hear the talk in person.
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