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As many of you know, I haven’t been a temple recommend holder for over ten years. The first priesthood ordinance I have performed in that time was my oldest son’s baptism last year. I will now be giving my first baby blessing next Sunday. (My first five kids were blessed by either my dad or my wife’s dad.) I have a lot of trepidation about it. I have decided to go ahead and do it in sacrament meeting, partly because I’m determined to make myself appear as “normal” as possible. But I have no idea what to say. I am agnostic, and even if God is out there, I’m not sure I would believe in priesthood power in its orthodox sense. Has anyone blessed a baby post faith crisis? How did you approach it, and what kinds of things did you say? I applaud you for pushing yourself to go ahead with it. I think they are good experiences. When I did it…I tried to make the effort to use wording so that it was a blessing and prayer to Heavenly Father of what I hoped for my child. I avoided talking directly to the baby, because in my mind, I thought it odd to tell this infant she should strive to get married in the temple…the baby doesn’t understand, so why would I talk to her as if she did. Instead, I asked the Lord to bless my child for the things I hope for. It helped make it feel more real to me, more sincere, more like these were blessings I was hoping for…and avoided the literal approach that somehow my magical words would put a blessing on this child that would happen no matter what the child grew up and chose to do.
I actually was pulled aside after I did this by a member of the stake presidency, who actually told me, “You used very correct wording in that blessing…too often I hear it done technically incorrect, even though we let it go.” He just wanted to thank me for making the effort to approach it sincerely.
My family did too.
I would stay focused on what is meaningful for you and your family…and if you do I don’t think you can say anything wrong…it is a good thing we do in the church for helping families come closer and have hope for good things for their loved ones.
Can’t wait to hear how you do. Good for you!
:clap: Heber13 wrote:I tried to make the effort to use wording so that it was a blessing and prayer to Heavenly Father of what I hoped for my child.
I avoided talking directly to the baby, because in my mind, I thought it odd to tell this infant she should strive to get married in the temple…the baby doesn’t understand, so why would I talk to her as if she did. Instead, I asked the Lord to bless my child for the things I hope for. It helped make it feel more real to me, more sincere, more like these were blessings I was hoping for...and avoided the literal approach that somehow my magical words would put a blessing on this child that would happen no matter what the child grew up and chose to do.
Addressing the baby would make a tiny bit more sense if they encouraged or at least allowed you to record and preserve the blessing. But my understanding is that they don’t. So I love the idea – and here’s hoping it becomes the trend – of addressing God. I love my husband to pieces, but our kids’ blessings were a little scary – lots of admonishment to be thankful, appreciative, obedient, etc. It was a lot for a poor, little wrinkled four week-old baby to take in.
Daeruin – I think it’s great that you’re doing this.
:thumbup: I haven’t blessed a baby, but I have done a confirmation, priesthood ordination, and done a couple setting aparts. Yes, it’s different than pre-FC. My advice is to think about what you want to say ahead of time, and think about it in depth. In my mind it would be OK to memorize something and just repeat it. In truth, as long as it follows the formula and doesn’t say something way out there it’ll be fine – nobody really remembers these things. I like Heber’s idea of it being more of a prayer. @Ann, while it’s not normally done, there is no prohibition that I am aware of that prohibits audio recording such blessings. There is a prohibition on video recording in the chapel but nothing I have ever seen about audio recording (except GAs, so you can’t catch them in a trap I surmise).
This is great! A couple of things I have done in blessing our babies that in hindsight I’m glad I did. Involve your wife in the process, get her input, what would she like to hear. And write it down.
I get nervous and having a little post it note to review before going up there with the things my wife and I had talked about and discussed and what I had repeated in my head was helpful. I tend to get forgetful when nervous.
Daeruin, First of all, congratulations! And SIX? Wow. That’s some parental dedication. I hope for a lifetime of love, happiness and fun for you with the Little Daeruin.
So… if you an Agnostic, doesn’t that mean that you think God could exist, and if he/she/it does exist he/she/it might be listening to you? I think a blessing based entirely on what you hope for your child, void of prophecies and declarations, would be very appropriate for you to give and no less valid or sincere than any other blessing of a child.
Also, blessing a child is part of what we do in our tribe to welcome the child to life, to recognize and acknowledge the miracle of life. Parents, child, generation, renewal, hope, past, present future. These are themes that exist regardless of whether there is anyone in yonder heavens listening.
I wish you and your family well on that eventful day.
Daeruin, Baby blessings are a very special ordinance in my view and you’ll remember it your entire life. Try not to worry about the mechanics. Just say what you want to say from your heart. Your child won’t remember it anyways but Heavenly Father will know what you’re trying to say. One of my children was born with a physical “difference” and I remember feeling that I should bless her that she could do anything she wants. One of the few times I’ve felt inspired about anything.
To address points from other posts…
Technically we are not supposed to record baby blessings. Handbook 1 16.1.5 and 16.1.6 – not that you can’t record them in spite of that. I asked the bishop if I could record my first child’s baby blessing and he said no. My dad said I should have done it without asking whether it was permitted. Easier to ask forgiveness than permission, right?
As far as the mechanics go (e.g. what to say and who to address) of the blessing the handbook says almost nothing. The family guidebook says:
The person who gives the blessing:
1. Addresses Heavenly Father.
2. States that the blessing is given by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.
3. Gives the child a name.
4. Gives a priesthood blessing as the Spirit directs.
5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.
It’s not entirely clear to me because we address Heavenly Father but then transition to blessing the person, presumably in the same style as a blessing of comfort. I’ve seen baby blessings bungled quite a bit but it doesn’t make them any less beautiful or any less accepted by Heavenly Father.
I had five good experiences blessing my children in terms of what I hoped for them. I had one incredible, revelatory, God-speaking-through-me experience when I intended to express what I hoped for that child. I opened my mouth and was stunned by what was said. It still brings tears to my eyes 25 years later. That blessing is known in our house as our personal Christmas star experience – something to which we can look that illuminates for us God’s awareness of what happens in our lives – something that would have been impossible for us to understand as clearly without that blessing.
I don’t expect your experience to be like that singular experience; I expect it will be more like the other five of mine. That’s fine. My fondness for the other five is not lessened or cheapened by the brilliance of the one. I am happy you will have the experience of telling your child what you hope. That alone is a wonderful thing.
Finally, make sure it is recorded, at least in summary, by someone who can take notes.
Gosh, I love this place. Thank you so much for all the advice and for sharing your stories. Roadrunner, thanks for the reminders about the mechanics. I was going to have to ask about that anyway.
Following Sunbelt’s advice, I asked my wife tonight what she would say or if there was anything she’d like me to say. She answered that she thinks most baby blessings are too formulaic and are simply a laundry list of typical Mormon checklist items. She would prefer to not to focus on what the child will do (get baptized, get married in the temple, etc.) but on who the child will be. She mentioned things like blessing the baby to be able to discover his own talents, to tell truth from error, to be kind and loving, and to have a desire to learn. I sure love that woman. I’ve taken some notes so I can be thinking about it and feel prepared when I get up to do the blessing.
I think that before I go up there, I’ll just turn on voice recording on my phone and put it in my front pocket without telling anyone. I’ll let my wife listen to it later, and It’ll be interesting to have the recording around, even if only for nostalgia.
You are blessed. Your wife’s words are full of wisdom. Daeruin wrote:Gosh, I love this place. Thank you so much for all the advice and for sharing your stories.
Roadrunner, thanks for the reminders about the mechanics. I was going to have to ask about that anyway.
Following Sunbelt’s advice, I asked my wife tonight what she would say or if there was anything she’d like me to say. She answered that she thinks most baby blessings are too formulaic and are simply a laundry list of typical Mormon checklist items. She would prefer to not to focus on what the child will do (get baptized, get married in the temple, etc.) but on who the child will be. She mentioned things like blessing the baby to be able to discover his own talents, to tell truth from error, to be kind and loving, and to have a desire to learn. I sure love that woman. I’ve taken some notes so I can be thinking about it and feel prepared when I get up to do the blessing.
I think that before I go up there, I’ll just turn on voice recording on my phone and put it in my front pocket without telling anyone. I’ll let my wife listen to it later, and It’ll be interesting to have the recording around, even if only for nostalgia.
This is fantastic! To echo some of the other thoughts here, blessing my children is an experience I will never forget (a reason I wish my wife could have participated more fully with me). With all our blessings we focused on what they could become, not what they would do, and I feel the experience was better because of it. When I blessed my first child I talked about how her being in our life altered the way we saw our relationship with our own Father in Heaven. A couple people talked to me afterward about that particular phrase and commented about the uniqueness of it in that particular setting. So say and do what is in your heart. Wish I could be there!
-SBRed
Daeruin wrote:Following Sunbelt’s advice, I asked my wife tonight what she would say or if there was anything she’d like me to say. She answered that she thinks most baby blessings are too formulaic and are simply a laundry list of typical Mormon checklist items. She would prefer to not to focus on what the child will do (get baptized, get married in the temple, etc.) but on who the child will be. She mentioned things like blessing the baby to be able to discover his own talents, to tell truth from error, to be kind and loving, and to have a desire to learn.
I wonder how different baby blessings would be if they were all given by women? Not pushing the whole OW issue, but I think they might be a bit different.Daeruin wrote:She would prefer to not to focus on what the child will do (get baptized, get married in the temple, etc.) but on who the child will be. She mentioned things like blessing the baby to be able to discover his own talents, to tell truth from error, to be kind and loving, and to have a desire to learn. I sure love that woman.
What a blessing for you to have such support. And how great it is you approached her this way.
These are good ways to make the ritualistic or formal outward ordinance stuff we do in the church have real value and meaning in our families, where it truly matters. This is when the Spirit can be felt, and goodness experienced, that you may not have if you did not bless the baby yourself.
The blessing went well. I was getting really nervous about it Sunday morning before church, to the point where I could hardly eat breakfast. But when we started getting all the kids ready, in the car, and seated, I was so busy I didn’t have time to worry. I had pretty much prepared beforehand what I was going to say, and following Sunbelt’s idea I had written up some notes on my phone and reviewed them right before standing up to give the blessing. The baby started crying partway through, and it started to throw me off—luckily I had already said most everything I wanted to, so it worked out. I worded things almost exactly as I did in earlier comments on this thread. For the blessing part, I phrased it as asking HF for a blessing, and used “we ask that” and “we pray that” throughout. I also wanted to point out how things went down as far as arranging the blessing. I was kind of worried about whether they would let me do it or not, since I haven’t been a full tithe payer and don’t have a temple recommend. Thankfully it wasn’t an issue. One of the bishopric came and pulled me out of the nursery the week before and just asked if we could fill out some paperwork for the blessing. He pulled up the record on the computer and simply asked me to fill out all the fields. I put in my name for the person giving the blessing, and that was that. No questions asked. I really like my bishopric.
Thanks again, everyone, for your help and support.
:clap: :clap: :clap:
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