What is Honor?

I see it as akin to integrity and as the opposite or hypocrisy – a commitment to act as you teach and do what you say you will do.

Yeah, there is that – as in “Defend your honor.”

Just like other words, I assign importance to multiple definitions in whatever way makes the most sense to me. I understand them and their usage, but I don’t internalize the ones I don’t like.

I believe honor is having character. My wife was raised in a very overbearing household, where her parents expected their children to obey every demand without question. When my wife moved away from home and went to college, they had to know every detail of her daily life. If she didn’t call home and share those details, they would become irate; screaming and yelling that she wasn’t ‘honoring’ her parents. They liked to use scriptures to give their kids guilt trips and to manipulate them into obeying their every demand. After we were married, and I saw the demands they were putting on her, I started to get her to start thinking and acting for herself; doing what she wanted to do instead of how they (or I) wanted her to do. They accused me of brainwashing her, and said that I was teaching her not to honor her parents. My father-in-law was a bishop at the time, so I met with him personally and had a long talk about what it means to ‘honor’ your parents. I told him that he was exercising unrighteous dominion over his daughter, and that he was trying so hard to hold onto her that it was going to eventually end up in her not wanting to have anything to do with him. I also told him that honoring your parents does not mean obeying your parents every word. It means that you live your life in a way that your parents would be proud of the decisions you’re making. I asked him if he was proud of his daughter. -Yes- I asked him if he trusted his daughter to make wise decisions. -Yes- Then the best thing he could do as a father would be to show her that he trusted her to make her own decisions and live her life. She makes honorable decisions everyday that he should be proud of. I honor my parents by the way I treat the people around me, not by asking them to tell me how to live my life. I think that also applies to how we can honor our heavenly parents.

Wow Holy Cow, your response showed up right after I hit submit. How’s that for timing?

Wow Holy Cow, your response showed up right after I hit submit. How’s that for timing?

Ha! I’m glad you posted with similar thoughts. You were able to clearly put into words what I was trying to say with my incoherent rambling!

Funny, I honestly liked your comments better. Different perspectives that converge on a similar conclusion on what it means to honor our parents.

Got any examples?

Yes — when someone from another family insults you, you go out and challenge them to a duel, or some kind of challenge to defend your family “honor”. To me, that’s about the bad form of pride where you think so highly of yourself you feel you must punish other people who behave in an insulting way toward you. It makes for great TV drama, but I think it’s a terrible way to function in society.

I find a lot of movies focus on people defending their “honor” when really, they are simply retaliating for insults given.

And it came to pass that Adam, being tempted of the devil—for, behold, the devil was before Adam, for he rebelled against me, saying, Give me thine honor, which is my power; and also a third part of the hosts of heaven turned he away from me because of their agency; ( D&C 29:36)

Why is the honor of God the power of God? I see it as His power because he is all good. He always keeps his word. He is perfectly charitable. When he asks the elements to organize, they do because they honor him.

I see the same in D&C 121. If we follow the principles in that section, we not only are called to leadership but are chosen. Not only do we have authority but we have power in our leadership. Because the people we lead respect us. From this honor they are more likely to follow their leader.