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I was thinking about all of our new ward members and lurkers today. We love having you. You bring us joy and purpose. I also know during the transition of faith that a person is hunting for help and answers. That’s why we are here. We are not the only voice of people who remain connected to the LDS faith yet see the world in a more nuanced way. If you are looking for more thoughts I wanted to recommend 2 podcasts that have helped me process things. #1 is
http://www.mormondiscussionpodcast.org/http://www.mormondiscussionpodcast.org/” class=”bbcode_url”> #2 is
Quote:– Dan Wotherspoon, podcaster, is an active agnostic member. His faith transition has covered his life from teens to middle age. He has spent some time disconnected from activity, but 10 years ago wanted to return to the community. He appreciates nuance and disconnect in a very inspiring way.
If we don’t have your answer, maybe they will. Again so glad to have you.
[Admin Note]: Just a point of clarification for those who lurk: We don’t consider ourselves a ward in the traditional sense – certainly not as a replacement for a traditional ward. When mom3 uses that word, she simply means a group of people who share fellowship In a common space – and “ward” is the Mormon way to say that in shorthand.
Back to a personal comment:
Those are really good podcasts.
Old-Timer wrote:We don’t consider ourselves a ward in the traditional sense – certainly not as a replacement for a traditional ward. When mom3 uses that word, she simply means a group of people who share fellowship In a common space – and “ward” is the Mormon way to say that in shorthand.
…although it may feel like the island of misfit toys and a hospital ward of those struggling to get better! That’s a kind of “ward” too.
Amen! Thanks for catching that. My fingers were ahead of my brain. I attend a traditional ward, have a calling, a visiting teaching route and friends. mom3 wrote:Thanks for catching that. My fingers were ahead of my brain. I attend a traditional ward, have a calling, a visiting teaching route and friends.
Me, too, but this “ward” community is much more fun than that one.
Quote:mom3 wrote:
Thanks for catching that. My fingers were ahead of my brain. I attend a traditional ward, have a calling, a visiting teaching route and friends.
Mom3, that made me suddenly sad to read that. It really hit me that although I have been active all of my life, and I have been in my current ward for 16 years, I have no calling (they think I am too busy, and I am, but it’ s still a bit hurtful), my VT companion apparently handles it without me (it is discouraging to have a route with not one single active sister, and they never return a phone call to us), and I have no one I consider a true friend. I know plenty of the members, but the relationships are pretty shallow. There is no one I could spill my innermost thoughts to. I have noticed over the years that most of the leadership callings are filled by the same people over and over again, just thrown up into the air and they come down into different callings periodically. This feeling of not belonging has definitely made my FC harder. I am grateful for this site, and I do lurk plenty, even when I don’t post. Thanks to all of you who post words of encouragement to us all. (I will admit that tonight I am tired, I have worked 13 days straight, and I am stressed because my mom’s health is not good. Sorry for the Debbie Downer, but it has been a tough day.
Sorry E4Me. I hope your day gets better as it goes on. This reminds me of how this is known across the church
http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2012/05/the-same-10-families/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2012/05/the-same-10-families/ http://ldsmag.com/article-1-11199/http://ldsmag.com/article-1-11199/” class=”bbcode_url”> http://ldsmag.com/article-1-13155/http://ldsmag.com/article-1-13155/” class=”bbcode_url”> I have served in a few bishoprics and I do see this as a problem. One contributing factor is that most of all the bishopric wants someone reliable, that does not drop the ball and cause the bishopric another issue. So they tend to go with those they feel are “safe” with some occasional “give them a stretch calling.” I have seen some people quit as Primary President after 2 weeks and I noticed that the bishopric (not when I was in there) seemed to never call her to anything else. I don’t know if she asked for that, or she was tagged as “unreliable”. Let’s face it, there are some people that will absolutely get the job done every time (not always well, but programs can check off that they meet, etc.).
I also had one bishop explain, “well you may have 350 members on the role, but only about 175 of them are active, and out of those 75 are youth or kids, leaving you 100 active adults, and out of those about 50 refuse most any calling of any substance, another 15 are self described “I am old and have done my time, I am out to pasture”, about 10 people (usually men) travel too much for most callings, and throw in a few “I will do any calling, but I won’t work with X, Y, or Z”, and then a few nut-jobs that you are just scared of what they might do, and you often feel like you are down to a dozen or so folks for the “big” callings.
Heber13 wrote:although it may feel like the island of misfit toys and a hospital ward of those struggling to get better! That’s a kind of “ward” too.
This I love!!
Eternity4me wrote Quote:Sorry for the Debbie Downer, but it has been a tough day
No issue here. Todays been a tough day for me. Different reasons, but I wanted to run screaming from the building. Okay I did flee fast because my heart and tongue were not reliable.
Quote:…and I have no one I consider a true friend. I know plenty of the members, but the relationships are pretty shallow. There is no one I could spill my innermost thoughts to.
You are not alone in this regard, I think that there are a lot of people that feel the same way, probably even those that you think are on the high volume friend scale.
I havent had friends that I can open up to like this in a long time either. There’s a big difference between ‘not fitting in’ and ‘not feeling welcome’. I hate generalizing, but most people that say they dont feel welcome could be better at trying to get involved. I’m not implying that you’re in that catagory, but I feel like I’m one that doesn’t fit in. As far as friends go. That’s why I’m pointing it out. I feel welcome, but not totally part of the group.
I hope that you find peace in the solitude, or if that is not what you are seeking, find a way to change the circumstances.
We have joked about our respective roles if we were to have a “ward”. I was assigned the role of music director given my interest in music. Of course, I would reharmonize the hymns using jazz chords so that would likely make my calling short lived 
SD – :thumbup: I second the motion. Music Director it is.SilentDawning wrote:We have joked about our respective roles if we were to have a “ward”. I was assigned the role of music director given my interest in music. Of course, I would reharmonize the hymns using jazz chords so that would likely make my calling short lived
Maybe in a real ward, here I think you’d be great! And maybe Ray would play his sax!
sue wrote:LookingHard wrote:I also had one bishop explain, “well you may have 350 members on the role, but only about 175 of them are active, and out of those 75 are youth or kids, leaving you 100 active adults, and out of those about 50 refuse most any calling of any substance, another 15 are self described “I am old and have done my time, I am out to pasture”, about 10 people (usually men) travel too much for most callings, and throw in a few “I will do any calling, but I won’t work with X, Y, or Z”, and then a few nut-jobs that you are just scared of what they might do, and you often feel like you are down to a dozen or so folks for the “big” callings.
I read that and described myself as the nut job. I guess that’s the price you have to pay if you don’t agree to being forced to keep a calling that is too taxing on you. The numbers in our ward are even lower than that list, but we still have a sizeable amounts of callings to fill. I won’t be taking any more callings due to my last experience.
I am not so sure. I can read your posts and comprehend what you are saying. I am talking about a “that person scares me”, or “if we put that person in a calling, others are going to go inactive” and even an “how can we keep that guy who will NOT go get any mental health help from committing suicide and/or driving his kids crazy where they kill him” (yes – literally).
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