More Like a Greeting From an Old Friend

Hello everyone!

I realize that most of you will not be aware of who I am since you were not around when I initially made contact with this forum. Nevertheless, I felt compelled tonight to log in and write a few words to those of you who do recognize my name. (And if you don’t know who I am, I encourage you to creep through my old posts to see where I’ve been).

The last post I made to this forum was in early 2012, and I have been largely absent since. Over the last few years, I have checked in periodically and skimmed through the popular posts. It delights me to see so many of you still much more active in this site than I ever was, because I understand how desperately others need your wisdom. I was once new here too, and came to you with a heavy heart. I had no hope or sense of direction, but your kind words and clarity helped me put myself back together again, better than before. I just hope you all realize how valuable and unique your insights are to those who have recently fallen out of the wagon. Thank you for all that you do to support each other here.

In addition to expressing my appreciation to all of you, I also wanted to give you a brief update as to where my life has taken me since I last left you… read on if you wish!

When I left you, I had recently been disfellowshipped by my bishop (for LGBT related issues), and was headed off to school. I wrote to you with deep sorrow and confusion as I recounted a letter my mother wrote me concerning her fears that I was on the road to perdition. Admittedly, a part of me had thought my life was over when I reached this point. My how things have changed since! Since leaving for school, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity of forming close friendships with many wise people such as Greg Prince (a name that some of you may know). In my contact with him, it has been amazing for me to see a whole new side of Mormonism. It was here that I became more familiar with the efforts of individuals such as John Dehlin, Carol Lynn Pearson, and Wendy Williams Montgomery. I am extremely humbled to have had the opportunity to interact with this individuals, as they have helped me to reconstruct a foundation for myself upon which I can proudly stand. Although I no longer consider myself a “Mormon”, I can proudly say that I have found a happiness for myself that is unparalleled to anything I knew before.

About a year ago I came out to my entire family and all of my friends. It was a terrifying experience, but I learned so much from the ordeal. I recognize that my struggles with growing up gay in the LDS church are not unique, and I understand that there are individuals here who can relate on some level. A large reason for why I wanted to write this post was to reach out to those of you who may be struggling or who are the relatives (parents, siblings, etc) of a struggling gay Mormon. First off, I want to make sure you understand this key point: You will never be defined by the ignorance of others. Go ahead and read that line again. Let it sink in until it resonates with you. After hearing key pieces of conference this weekend, I feel like some of you out there really need to hear that. Second, I want to highly recommend the book titled: “No More Goodbyes” by Carol Lynn Pearson. If you are a struggling gay Mormon, or the parents of a gay child, you need to read this book. Do your research. Look it up on Amazon. I promise you that you won’t be disappointed. This book worked wonders for me, as well as my parents. After reading this book, my parents attitude towards me (and my partner) changed completely. Carol Lynn’s words will heal your broken soul and give you the hope that you’ve been searching for. :thumbup:

Other then that, I don’t really have much else to say right now. I just get these bursts of passion where I feel strongly that I need to share what I am feeling. However, now that I’ve been debating whether or not I should delete this post all together. Regardless, I wrote it so I might as well submit it now. Do with my words what you wish. Again, thank you all for your dedication and involvement in this site. You saved me. And I know that you have saved countless others. Keep fighting the good fight.