Good stuff

I was speaking in a very small branch today. Our lesson was traditional in some ways, but it was quite balanced – and it included one comment about it being okay to see the Book of Mormon as inspired word of God, no matter what else someone thinks about its translation.

Overall, it was a good lesson.

There also was a potluck lunch after the two-hour block, and the food and company was good.

We went to a Ward in our Home Ward’s building to see a baby blessed. The part at the end of the meeting was great. First, I met an old friend and shared a book I was reading about coaching and realizing potential in others. He seemed genuinely interested when I shared a couple gold nuggets I’d read so far.

And then, I met the member of the Bishopric who reprimanded me unfairly and rather harshly several years ago — one of the spirit-shattering events that precipitated my coming to STayLDS. With the exception of that experience, we have a lot in common. We talked about my potential dissertation topics and he was really interested in it. He is incredibly TBM, but we get along quite well.

He and his wife love my daughter and think she would be a good date for their son eventually, who is leaving on a mission. Afterwards, they both joined myself and my daughter. They shared their son’s acceptance at BYU Provo, which he has deferred until he returns from his mission, and a number of other items. On the way home, we talked as a family about the compatibility of our family cultures and how that is a key component of successful, arranged marriages in other cultures (we are not arranging a marriage!!!). My daughter listened intently as my wife and I indicated we think our two families have compatible values in terms of economic expectations, education aspirations, interpersonal standards, and that we think she would be happier with TBM in-laws than other types of in-laws.

And then I realized when I was writing this that I don’t have any malice toward the man who reprimanded me those years ago. On reflection, I pretty much forgave him on the spot when, with tears in his eyes, he apologized for the harsh way he treated me. This was when I called a meeting to discuss the reprimand with all the offensive parties several years ago. He did so in front of everyone else who had been involved — and later told me he was overwhelmed with the spirit when I shared the depth of my hurt and the impact it had on my respect for our home ward at the time. That part of the meeting was balm to my spirit.

Although I’m not a fast forgiver, the fact that I have no malice toward him and forgave him quite easily is something I’m happy about, as well as the fact I’d have no problems with my daughter marrying into his family, if that’s what happens someday. Way too premature right now given my daughter’s age (16.5), and very theoretical, but a good family discussion.