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Just had to sit through three talks about family, marriage, children etc etc. The church really does lay this on heavily with the proverbial trowel.
I don’t have any close “family on earth”. My nearest living relatives are two aunts, one of whom I’ve met once in the 1990s, and the other whom I’ve never met. That’s it. I dread to think what it’s like for single parents, foster children etc (although small mercies, one of the talks was giving by a friend of mine who is an unmarried father) It’s not my fault I don’t have close blood relatives – it’s accidental.
As for the whole marriage/dating thing, I find this hellish, almost impossible, like I do job interviews which I have struggled with more than most. This is partly due to certain problems I have – proper eye contact being one of them (I can’t do it consciously) and small talk. Some people can pick and choose numerous people to marry, others have to struggle for one reason and another, and I find it amazing we insist on it for exaltation, because I don’t think it’s entirely to do with worthiness or goodness.
SamBee…seems we had the same sacrament today. I cringed thinking of the very different type of “families” and personal situations that make up the majority of any ward. Can we stop telling children /people that their less than “ideal” family according to the church means they will be alone and parted from them for eternity? Can we stop asking single adults to endure a life of solitude if they can not find or connect with a temple worthy member? There are a lot of great nonmember people out in the world. Good luck in your goals and hope next Sunday is more about Christ. SamBee wrote:Some people can pick and choose numerous people to marry, others have to struggle for one reason and another, and I find it amazing we insist on it for exaltation, because I don’t think it’s entirely to do with worthiness or goodness.
I guess I just don’t believe that anymore, that it’s necessary for exaltation. That obviously doesn’t change what I hear at church, but it means that I care a whole lot less.
I hear you. An apostle visited our area (very, very rare) and they announced that there would be three meetings: 1) For the full time missionaries.
2) For the youth.
3) For
married couples.It’s just how my brain is currently wired. When they announced this the very first thing that popped in my head was “what about the single members?!!?!” I’m married and that one felt like a smack in the face. I thought maybe they misspoke but they made it crystal clear that the third meeting was intended for married couples only. They could have changed the theme to accommodate singles or maybe even had a 4th meeting for them. The way they left things it felt like the singles were being excluded. Probably not intentional, but it happened.
We could do much, much better at being cognizant of the treasures that are our single members.
Agreed. “We understand that there are those who have no choice but to be in a ‘non-traditional’ family” and then completely marginalizing them doesn’t cut it with me. It actually happened in this past GC. I see nothing wrong with the church supporting marriage and two parent homes – but not at the expense of those who have no choice. Nibbler, What did they talk about that third hour that was so important non-married people’ couldn’t be there?
I find the worship of traditional family to be completely off-putting to me. It marginalizes others and IMHO it does not engender the type of charity for others situations that fall outside the small box of “traditional marriage”.
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They were three separate meetings held at different times of the day and on different days. I didn’t attend any of the meetings, I’d have to ask someone that did. I see a few possibilities.
1) They were being ignorant of single members. It didn’t even occur to them that the itinerary was excluding them.
2) They mentioned the limitations of the venue (stake center) many, many times. If you wanted to get a seat you better show up several hours in advance. It was clear that some people that wanted to attend weren’t going to be able to attend
It’s possible they decided to shrink the pool of people that were eligible to attend down to married couples (also no children) to minimize this problem. Of course this is just a guess but IMO in a first come first serve type situation some people won’t be able to attend regardless of who is invited. I’d much rather have the latecomers miss the bridegroom than to indirectly tell the virgins they shouldn’t even bother to show up.
:angel: Once you hit thirty you’re hung out to dry… The factors required for a quick marriage – social ease, good looks, youth and outwardly good health are not the same as those we need in the Gospel. Some people practically have the pick of the class because they’re so good looking through factors they don’t seem to have chosen.
I’m lucky I had good parents but I was also left by myself at a relatively young age.
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