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If you’ve had your patriarchal blessing, what does it mean to you now? Do you read it? How does it influence you? Nice question, SD. I have actually been thinking about this often recently and was considering making a post about it. Glad someone did! Even from when I first got it, mine has kind of honestly been….anti-climactic. And I don’t mean that to be derogatory, but there’s nothing super impressive about. One thing, however, that the patriarch did note was that he had never had a blessing say something so specific as mine in relation to church service. Mine says something to the effect that I will serve with YW and my life will be an example to them. Most of the rest is fairly basic, and over the years I’ve noticed that it’s just basic principles, really. I have always had an inkling about the marriage part. I’ve always felt that the temple marriage and kids will not happen in this life, whatever that may mean. It’s funny, because I just got out of a relationship with an agnostic atheist so it might’ve played out!
😆 It does, however, say that I will be led to my husband and that it will require patience. If anything, this last guy I dated I felt incredibly led to or prepared for, due to a previous dating experience. However, he’s battling pretty heavy depression and comes from a past of abuse so the relationship has ended, and even though we work together (that’s how we met, and I turned down the job the first time and called back a month later to see if they would still take me..), I can’t do the friends thing very well right now.So I’m conflicted about it, to be honest. If I’m perfectly frank, I would love for that to be true, especially in relation to him. It also helps that I’ve always felt that the temple/kids stuff would not happen here (I used to believe it was because I couldn’t find anyone, but that has proven to be false). It’s treated as a personal road map for people in the church, but I know family who have consciously chosen to not fulfill parts spelled out (IE mission) in theirs, so I don’t completely understand the whole point. I did go to my sister’s blessing, however, and that girl has a novel. Seriously. Mine is 1 page, front and back. Hers is like 3-4 pages, front and back. It’s ridiculous. So basically…
I don’t know.
My daughter just got hers, which prompted my thinking about this. I personally found it very vanilla. Almost like a horoscope that could be true under a wide variety of circumstances due to its generality. There was one part that indicated she had a certain gift, which is true, but the rest of it was basically she’d experience the textbook Mormon experience, minus a mission. It didnt’ say there would NOT be a mission, but it didn’t say there WOULD be a mission.
One thing that I have learned these patriarchs need to be careful of, is promising that people will experience marriage and particularly children. Both my wife and I have this promise, but children were a real bear to get on this earth for various reasons. Some women may find they can’t have them, or marry a man who is sterile. And if you assume that the patriarch may, or may not be inspired, this can cause a lot of emotional hardship for people, particularly the women.
Also, even when things don’t come to pass, people are FAMOUS for placing an interpretation on the blessing that makes it true, even though the thing did not come to pass. For example, when my SP was obstinate about sending me on a mission due to financial concerns (he placed huge barriers in front of me), everyone said that my blessing meant I would serve a Senior’s mission. When children were a problem, everyone started telling us that the children would come in the afterlife after exhaltation.
My patriarch also asked me “what commandments do you have trouble keeping??”. I told him prayer and tithing. Well, that made it into my blessing — to be mindful of these two things.
I always felt let down that he had to ask me that, as it kind of besmirched the revelatory aspect of a blessing.
Nonetheless, the PB made my daughter very happy to have received it. There is value in that. And so, I don’t share these thoughts with her. I’m glad I have here to share my thoughts so I can say all the things I have to be tight-lipped about so as not to destroy a young, good-hearted teenager’s testimony and faith.
I am purposely not looking at mine. I feel to do so would probably severely weaken my beliefs if I started picking it apart. I know my very faithful dad was promised to serve in a particular stake calling, but he passed away without that happening. A few of my kids have had their blessings and I agree that I see them talk for 20 minutes with my son or daughter and then give a blessing that does not seem anything more than a generic blessing. So now I just will leave it well enough alone as I am a bit too teetering on the edge. This is a hard topic for me. Growing up, I was the girl with the big testimony and bore it almost every week: seminary, prayer, I ate it all up. Loved the Church and the gospel. But I never had one of those miraculous spiritual experiences people talked about. I figured since I already “knew” I didn’t need one. Yet when I got my patriarchal blessing, I remember distinctly thinking to myself, “Wow…wow. I knew this was going to be a spiritual experience…but this is beyond anything I could have imagined. This is so much more than I ever could have thought.” It shook me to my bones.
To this day I can’t explain it. I don’t know what it means. This faith crisis would probably be much easier if I hadn’t had that experience. But I figure that for whatever reason, I did. And here I am.
I would probably put more stock in a father’s blessing than a patriarchal blessing, at this point in my life. In fact, I’m wondering if I should offer to give my daughter a fathers’ blessing after a certain amount of time has passed. So as not to appear to be competing with, or confusing the role of the church patriarchal blessing.
I was always inspired by Lehi’s blessings to his sons; Lehi KNEW his sons given the time he had spent with them, and so his blessings were very specific. Blessings have the advantage of creating a formal atmosphere, and some form of divine connection that I think makes people interested and attentive to them.
Is there protocol against recording a fathers’ blessing, and then typing it up for your child, when done privately, in the home?
My patriarchal blessing is a curiosity to me and which I’ve read once in the past 10 years or so. My blessing was long and fairly specific and had lots of really cool promises. I remember while receiving it I was floored because it made me feel special, loved, and known personally by my Heavenly Father. Probably 80% of the promises you could say have come true, although not in the way I interpreted them at the time. One very pointed promise was that I would know and remember my spirit children before they were born to me and my wife – and it never came true. I believed for a long time after having my kids that I couldn’t remember them because I was unworthy. Now I view it as a special document which helped me navigate my difficult teenage years. I can’t express how guilt ridden I was because of what I know now is very normal teenage masturbation. I thought it was as bad as adultery and I fasted and prayed about it for months before I thought I was worthy to receive a patriarchal blessing. Then here came a beautiful blessing telling me how awesome I was and how wonderful my future would be. It was a “magic feather” of sorts and gave me confidence, which I still appreciate.
Amazing how much of our personal happiness, especially when young, is influenced by the standards our parents and society places on us. I remember feeling guilty all the time, and miserable, when I saw an attractive woman and was interested in gazing on her to admire her attractiveness. I’d kick myself afterwards, pray for forgiveness, and felt repeatedly that I’d failed if I ever took a moment to take in her attractiveness — whether a picture in a respectable magazine, or someone in real life. Good topic! I put off reading mine for a long time when I hit my FC. I just couldn’t face the fact that my mind might tear down something so personal to me. I didn’t want to put it to rest like I did with other things. Finally, at the behest of my wife, I read it. It was one of the few spiritual experiences I’ve had with regards to the church lately. I can’t really explain it. PB’s don’t make much sense to me, but mine says some really good stuff, much of it that has taken on a whole new meaning post FC. I don’t remember many of the specifics, but most of it has to do with helping and serving others in different capacities, finding fulfillment in my career, teaching people. All of it very relevant to me right now. No specific promises like other people’s. It says to me that PB’s, can be inspired, though probably not all are. Who knows what some patriarchs are thinking. The one in my stake is very down to earth (not the one who gave mine) and is very clear about what a patriarch is and isn’t. Anywho, I think I’ll have to read it again soon. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My sister got her PB and it was full of dire warnings. Kinda scary. Two weeks later, the stake patriarch was excommunicated for adultery. At that time, my sister asked if she should get a new blessing. She was told no. That the patriarch had the keys whether he was living a worthy life or not. Mine is quite generic. Short. To the point. 3/4 of a page in length. Happy, marriage, children, service, joy.
My husbands’ is 3 pages of stuff. Little of which has occurred. But his patriach started out by putting his heads on my husband’s head, pausing, and just crying/sobbing for about 10 minutes. THAT made a bigger impression than anything that was written.
If we really believe and follow a PB, we give up so much of the theory of free will and we become Calvinists.
That bothers me.
Mine mostly has generic stuff (missionary work, etc.), and some words of advice (i.e. stay out of debt) and a few “promises” which haven’t come to pass. It played a minor role in my FC. I don’t read it and I don’t believe in it. I think it’s a silly tradition and since I believe that revelation of that type is extremely limited, I don’t believe it is revelation. My son recently had his. Our patriarch is someone who we have known for many years and I consider him a friend. He is a devout and very orthodox member. He specifically instructed my son not to share his PB with anyone outside his immediate family and specified not to share it with his friends. I was thinking at the moment that was because he didn’t want them to see how similar theirs were to his.
So, I don’t put much stock in mine just like I put little stock in prayer. If others do, that’s fine with me. I don’t push my view on others (in this case I was asked) and I would expect the same of others (in this case I chose to read the comments).
It had a big impact on my daughter when she got her patriarchal blessing. I think one needs to look at the effect of the blessing on the receiver to determine its true value. Some people take a lot of comfort in them. I think others shun them after a period of time. I knew one devout TBM who married a non-member, and effectively, rendered her patriarchal blessing invalid since so much of the promised blessings were dependent on having a temple marriage. As a result, she said she never read it because she felt like she’d “blown it”. Years later she divorced the non-member and got a temple marriage, in fulfillment of the blessing though…I’m in the camp of not taking a lot of stock in the blessings though. I read a story about SWK’s life in which he stayed at a members’ home as part of a trip to a stake conference, and the women asked why her son died prematurely when his patriarchal blessing promised a mission, temple marriage and children. SWK replied “sometimes that just happens to people”.
I find that blessings, power, and influence, without accountability is a dangerous thing. I also think that JS and members in general made a religion out of cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias. People will find any way they can to justify their faith. Just as when a mission seemed impossible for me, everyone said the blessing was true — the mission would be a senior’s mission. I blew that theory out of the water by taking some bold steps to make the blessing come to pass.
It means a lot to me, but I don’t take it as inerrant scripture. There are a few “small details” that are stunning in their application, looking at them in hindsight. Mostly, it is quite generic, but those small details are fascinating.
As I think I mentioned in another post, I am staying away from reviewing my PB as I fear it will just increase my disbelief. As a sidebar – during my mission in Central America 20 years ago few members wanted to get a Patriarchal blessing, even if the stake had a patriarch. Most members viewed them as strange, similar to fortune telling, and they simply didn’t bother with them even when we encouraged them. It’s possible that attitude has changed since then. I’m not sure how patriarchal blessings are viewed outside the United States.
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